What I want to be when I grow up....

I have been thinking about this.... I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know some of the characteristics I hope I have -- if not now, then before too long.

I want to be a kind person. To everyone, not just people I know, to people I don't know, and people that I really never thought of before. I want to learn to look at everyone as a whole, and not as the separate backgrounds or cultures they might have. I really want to become more diverse in the people that I know, and my "inner circle" of people

I want to be intelligent. I will probably end up back at college at some point, because it seems that to make it up the job ranks, you need a degree these days.. but more than that, I want to always be learning SOMETHING. I want to learn everything I can in my life. I know I have a facination with psychology and how the mind works, and how it affects behavior, so maybe I can run with that

I want to have control of my emotions. I know a lot of people that really can control how they react to what the world throws their way, and almost never come unglued. I don't want to be exactly that way, but my life would be much better all the way around if I didn't have such strong emotions, and if I had better control of them.

I want to have guts. I have lived this far in my life just going along most of the time with what others say is right and wrong, and being ok with that. But more and more I want to be a person that can weigh situations out for myself and develop my own opinions, and when I do get those opinions formed, I want to stick by them and not back down. I know for me that will be extremely different, but I really respect other people who can do this. So, if I respect it in others, I should probably try to make it happen for me.

I want to make a difference. I am not sure what my chosen path will be, but I want to be able to feel, and know, that I made a difference. In the world, on this planet, or maybe only in my own family. I am not sure how far is reaching too far in this arena.. I just would hate to leave this life and really have done no good.. made no difference..

I want to be a better wife. I want to work on the things that I can improve, and learn even more ways to be a good wife. Not any one area in particular.. just a better friend to my husband, better lover, better confidante, heck even better cook and bottlewasher ;) - Joking.. but really. I think that I can make a WONDERFUL wife to my husband, I just have to start today, and try to make every day better than the one before.. baby steps baby steps..

Some obstacles..
Laziness, Lack of energy, Lack of motivation, Mental illness and emotional intensity, Pride, Insecurity, Fear of abandonment, Fear itself, lack of assertiveness, I am sure for me, this list could be written on for days, but I guess I just wanted to write this down while I am thinking of it, so I can go back later and see if I have made any of these changes, if I have accomplished any of this. I don't seem to have that great of a memory, so writing it down is always good :) or at least it doesn't hurt.

Angel Chasse (again)