I love my family...
I think now of what makes family.. thanks to Rosie...
To Rosie:
I'm sorry that you had to lose both of your moms...
I am sooooo HAPPY for you that you had 2 moms.....
I have one mom, she is trully the best....
I have 2 dads.. The one that I had, and now he is gone.. not dead (I hope) but not with me just the same... I love him, I always will, even though I don't agree with SO MUCH of what he is about...
My second dad - Steve..
Its hard to get a new dad when you are a teen.. we fought.. I told him I wanted to move out, and he put up with it.. probably the 10th time I did that, he packed me a bag... I cried, and of course didn't leave.. I didn't know I should respect him.. I didnt know that he chose to love my mom even though she had 2 kids.. I didnt know that that took a special person... I didnt know that learning how you need to live can hurt.. when you don't want to learn.. when you are a teen..
Embarrassed really, how I acted - how I treated him... yelled... you are NOT my dad, you cant make me do anything! Slammed doors, cried, thought I hated..... I never hated -- never-- but I thought I did.... He has taught me so much.. in the years when I needed to learn... I wonder if he knows now, how much I did learn.. I am who I am now because of him.. my mom too... she was the constant... she was my rock.. but now I have two... and I need to tell them.. I need to tell them how much I love them, and how I would CHOOSE him if I had it to do again :) :)
Ok...
Family... we choose our friends... I have friends that are family... 2 moms 2 dads 1 mom only a dad, a grandma, a brother.. whoever runs your family, whatever the makeup - respect it -- you dont always get a second mom, or a second dad like I did.. and Rosie did - we were lucky..... FAMILY IS IMPORTANT they are there to root for you, and correct you, and love you, and teach you so much... no matter who is in your family... love them, and RESPECT them.. agree or disagree - they are you family... and your CHOSEN family is always your family.... you can choose, to let someone into your family -- you can choose to let them in ... let them in please ... EVERYONE needs family ....
I really dont want to be on a soapbox here... but time flies.... and we dont get everything we want to, done... tell the people you love.. your family... tell them what they mean to you... tell them... they need to hear it -- no matter who they are - they need to hear it.. TELL THEM...
We wont be here forever... lets do the best we can with the time we have -- try to get out of our comfort zones.... seek out someone who needs a friend... sure, you dont know them.. this might happen, that might happen -- yadda yadda --- DO SOMETHING --- it is WORTH IT
****Trying to take my own advice********* -- not perfect here... far far from it ....
Find your truth... find your voice.. yellow....
I am looking soo hard... for my yellow...
sad, black, panic are taking over... voices... everything...
But I cant let it defeat me.... I cant let it defeat me .. I cant let it defeat me.. I cant let it defeat me
Thanks for reading this far.. I always welcome comments... shoot.. I'll listen...
Angel Chasse
4 comments:
Angel,
It's hard to get a new dad when you're ten. My father died when I was eight, mom remarried two years later. It was a very huge adjustment. The man wasn't bad, he raised us. He was my dad longer than my real father.
My mother died when I was 30, my stepfather died 6 weeks after she did, and I held his hand while he passed. They left my then eleven year old half-brother an orphan. All three of those deaths took their toll on me, and my brothers and sister. My family then consisted of my sister, my heroin addicted brother, and the baby. My parents wanted my sister to take him because she was married and had a son that was only two years younger than him. Ten years later addict brother died in 1998 from a heroin overdose while I was recovering from back surgery.
I guess what I'm getting at is that we all have to play the cards we are dealt. Even if you don't have a very good hand, you learn to have a poker face.
Hang in there kiddo.
Angel,
You're young. I'm 47, and I've struggled with most of the stuff that you're going through at one time or another in my life. Everyone has a story. Keep writing kiddo, I think it will help you through the doubt and uncertainty.
What did the 2006 email say about the cruise? I didn't get one.
anon,
It just said they think it will be to Alaska, but they are not 100% sure yet.. and to check back in may/june, for new info on 2006 cruise and early bird specials :)
Angel Chasse
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