Unfair

Unfair



We went to see my mom's best friend Deb.
Her son was graduating from High School
We went because of that, but we went to see her.
Sick, she was sick. Been in pain and unable to do
anything for a month now.
Off Chemo for a month.. after the last 9 months on.

How is it fair for one person to get cancer 3 separate times in their life?
Who makes these rules? Who lets this happen..
Deb jokes... that she did some bad stuff in her life, so she can understand once...
and then she says.. ok.. twice maybe... but 3 times?
First brain tumor, then double mastectomy, now lymph nodes...
My dad says that at least she has been around to get all the kids off to their own lives
he says hopefully she can make it til whenever he gets married. She already has some grandkids - he says "her main jobs will be done" -- but... but but


Why is that good enough? Why doesn't she get to stay around until she is old and grey and get great grandkids, and go on trips and start her life as an "empty nester" over.. my parents are somewhat doing that now.. me 26 married, brother 22 and out of the house.. they can take cool vacations now, and do stuff.. with no kids dragging along... who decided that Deb doesn't get to do that?

I know, she is still here, and I am thankful for that.. I am.. but in her eyes you can see that she is tired.. tired of all of this.. the pain, the illness, the not getting to do stuff. She couldn't even leave the house to go to the graduation ceremony.. so she got it on videotape... it's not the same.. but it is what she has... and she doesn't really even complain either.. I don't know how she does it. I don't know.. if it were me I would be angry.. I am sure it would not help, but I would be PISSED....

Again.. I don't understand what kind of world we live in that this could happen, and to me, a God that is just would not let this happen. I guess that has always been my problem with the bible and how most people in organized religion are willing to just say that everything that is not perfect in this world is becuase of God giving us free will to make our own choices... I just don't buy into a school of thought that there is someone (god) that is all knowing, and all seeing, and created this world, and because he gave us free will, he can take a hands off aproach when bad things happen...but who is it that people go to and give all the praise when something goes RIGHT???? -- I have to remember that people might read this.. but in the end, it is my blog, and I promised myself when I started it, that I would not censor it or do spellcheck or any of that.. so there it is.. I do not participate in religion because I can't wrap my head around why bad things happen. After all, if god was all knowing, all seeing, and he created this world and all of us who are in it, then he has the POWER to make things right.. and chooses not to. Free will... urgh....

Angel Chasse (again)