Death watch.. that is what I am calling it.. yesterday my mom and I went to see her friend who has cancer everywhere, and is nearing the end of her life. Very soon. We went in, there were 2 people (friends and family) sitting in the kitchen. Deb (my mom's best friend) was in the living room, in hospital bed, mostly out of it from all the pain meds. They were filling us in in the kitchen... no food for 16 days now, only sips of iced tea, pain meds, etc etc.. they said that hospice came in and said life is white and dead is black, and Deb is in dark grey.....
WHAT?
How does this become routine to them. I am thankful for them, at the same time I am sooooo glad I don't have that job. I prayed last night that she just go... no more pain, no more suffering, no more deathwatch for family members and friends.
My mom says no more close friends for her ever. Can't say I blame her.
This whole thing got me thinking (of course) -- Deb is 50, my mom is 45 - I can't lose my mom, cant do it. I just pray she lives to be an old old woman. I will love to see how my mom is when she is old. She is so honest.. sometimes a bit brutal to listen to :) she is so spunky. That is what drew her to Deb and Deb to her I am sure of it... both of them quick with a jab or a joke, all in good fun, drinking coffee for hours together.. the number of times they had each other crying over laughing so hard.. wow too many times to count. I love my mom so much, and hate this for her. Wish I could be the parent, and put a bandaid on and say "all better" and it would all go away for her.. can't do that, I am learning... gotta take life as it comes.. but let me tell ya, sometimes it SUCKS!! BAD!!
Gotta hold on to the little things that make me happy.. Husband... family... and little tiny thing, but COLD STONE CREAMERY ICE CREAM!!! Love it... indulged tonight.. shouldn't have, can't afford it at the moment, but .. gotta drink in the good stuff.... I love you Jim
Angel Chasse (again)
2 comments:
that is a beautiful post angel...kinda sad..but truthful...i am sorry for your mom and for deb...
but at least you are there to help your mom through this most difficult time...
hang in there!
It's so hard to watch someone suffer like that. I know, I watched my mom who died when she was 51.
There comes the time as horrible as it sounds that you wish they would just let go.
Hang in there, my thoughts are with you!
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