Cheap Healthcare... (has a price)

So, I have had some pain in my chest since about the 10th or so. Constantly there, sometimes gets the sharpness about it.. so.. I waited for it go away.. and it hasn't.. went to the community health place on Monday. SCARY PLACE!!!

The people there... scared me some of them. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that those people were probably sick, and grouchy, and needed help. But geesh, some of those folks were rude, mean, and just.. I don't know.. thoughtless maybe?

That got me, and my dear husband (tm) LOL j/k.... thinking. It got us thinking that it really sucks to not have health insurance. Now, I get disability... but that check is more than a household of 2 can make in this state and qualify for health insurance. So, basically, I was approved to stay home from work, until I get treatment that works and calms the voices, paranoia, panic, nightmares, etc etc... but... because I make over the dollar limit to qualify for health care with my state.. I don't have the means to get treated for these problems...

I know, I know, there are places, there are forms, there are this and that.. the fact that my husband is in college (so that he can make a wage that will support us both if need be in the future) that is a problem as well. We can't get on a subsidized housing list because he is able bodied, and should be working instead of going to school (according to them) -- so.. I get that there are rules, and life is hard, and all of those things.. but I am feeling like... ROCK --- Meet HARDPLACE

So, I pay my rent, utilities, phone, (internet, luxury item there), car insurance, food, necessities, old student loan of mine being garnished... and.. low and behold there is not 383 dollars left over for my to take out my own health insurance plan... WOW... I am not sure what to do. I find myself getting excedingly upset over this, and freaking out about it, but at the same time, I just get angry. If I hadn't let myself feel all of these things, and had just "powered on" and kept working and living the way I was before, we would be doing fine, and I wouldnt have these problems, because I would have a job, that paid the bills, and for health insurance.. URGH.... I think this is just a rant, but I guess I wanted to say that I am scared really to go to the community health place, cuz I am scared that I might catch something really bad there, or that one of those angry patients might just loose it and whip out their gun or something.. but I digress... Jim went with me both times, and I feel much safer with him there... all of this, and my first appt will cost me 52 bucks and the second one the same, and then the test at the heart speciality place will be TONS of money (payment plan for a lifetime) lol -- Ok.. Now I am just rambling on. All this to find out that my heart is really probably 100% fine, and that I should have just sucked it up and waited longer.

Going to the Dr always sucks, but this new stuff.. without insurance.. it sucks so bad a person could get a complex I think.....


A side note.... Lu, keep thinking, and believing that everything will be ok. That is really the best advice I can give ya. Hard and sucky advice it may be, but the best I can do... *hugs* Praying for ya, and sending you the best thoughts...


Angel Chasse (again)