Tired... Reposted from April 2005

I posted this to my blog originally in April of 2005. Now is it 5-22-06 and it seems eerily apropriate again. So, I am posting it again...



Tired

I am tired..
Tired of feeling this way
Tired of letting myself down
Tired of not knowing what life is going to need me for
Tired of seeing that other people do extraordinary things, even if they are tired themselves

Tired of standing by the sidelines, terrified, or watching on tv .. cuz I am terrified

Tired of letting the past get in the way of my future
Tired of worrying.. its not gotten me anywhere so far
Tired of having this dark cloud with me at all times.. and that cloud is so big and it rains so hard

Tired of being... well.. me
Tired of not even knowing who this .. me.. is that I know I dont want to be
Tired of making excuses
Tired of letting people take advantage of me, and feeling like a victim
Tired of not speaking up
Tired of running away
Tired of copping out
Tired of being a loser, when I WANT to be a helpful, honorable, useful human being
Tired of praying prayers for everyone, and not even understanding who I think is listening to those prayers... believing there is a higher power.. but wondering how he/she could let the things that happen in todays world happen... confused..

Tired of not making my voice heard
Tired of sticking with status quo cuz it is easier
TIRED of avoiding confrontation to the point that I blow up for no reason at the people I DO LOVE - because I have held it in with everyone/everything else..
Tired of fat
Tired of no energy
Tired of being co dependant
Tired of whining
Tired of bitchin and moaning..
Tired of ME

I'm thinking, I better try a new me .. cuz this one is NOT WORKING!!!
...Tired

Angel Chasse (again)