Grey's Anatomy.... And Me

I am sure that anyone who reads this blog knows that I love television. We pay more money than we should to have cable, because I am home all the time, and I like me some tv :) lol -

My newest addiction is Grey's Anatomy - I think I watched the first show last season (the first season I guess) - and then watched sporadically after that. Then something happened on one of the episodes, and it intrigued me, so I want to see every episode :) Lucky for me, season one's dvd is out soon, if it isn't already out. I really like Ellen Pompeo (Meridith Grey on the show) and I like the character of George, and of Bailey. So anyway, I love this show, and just found out the name of the theme song, so I will have to be looking for that. I really liked the 2 part episode that they had for the end of the superbowl.. sure, some of the drama was trumped up a bit, but I think those 2 episodes went a long way toward deepening our understanding of the different characters :) Ok, enough about that :)

What else have I been up to? Some introspection, and some crankiness. I have a headache that has gone on for awhile now, but my non-hypochondriac husband thinks it is a tension headache, so we will go with that. I have also been trying to keep up with him in a college class that I have interest in (abnormal psych) - and have been reading along with him in the chapters (from home, not actually attending the classes) - and I took a practice test and didn't do too badly on it, though it was not my best work.

Jim did our taxes, then found that we had an error, so we need to do another form to correct this error.. urgh... but at least we caught it, so it won't mess up his financial aid for school.

I made some "homeade lo mein" tonight, and it was pretty good, but I can do better. It is weird.. there is not much that I won't try to make at home at least once, but I had bad experiences trying to make fried rice at home, so I pretty much gave up on anything chinese-y - - but since this was good, who knows, I might try more exotic stuff. Jim is the chef in this family, but I do like to have a few things that I make well. Our friend Becky said the other day that she misses having our spaghetti, so that made me feel really goood :) that is my signature dish ;) lol

Other than that I have just been getting by. I know that I need to get back on my meds, and see dr's again and all of that but A> there is not money for that, and B> I think I wanted to believe that I would be just fine without that stuff, and that it really was just all in my head, and I could make myself all better if I just tried. Well... that would probably work... but.. and this is a big but... I dont really have the energy, motivation, patience, whatever to even try. I would really rather just stay in my little apartment and not go anywhere or have to deal with anyone, and not have to talk about the way that I feel, or the voices, or the racing thoughts, or the ickiness.. .but... even I can finally see now that THIS is not working either, so we have to move on to something more productive. I have some phone#s to call and ask for some help etc, but I just hoped it would not come to this, and I would just be able to make myself all fine again. I even thought that if I just didn't complain as much to the hubby, and didn't bring up how I was feeling, that he would think I was doing better... I guess I should have given him more credit, because evidently he saw right through that, and I was the only one believing anyone was fooled.. so -- I guess they call it mental "ILLNESS" for a reason, and I guess that even if you want it to, it won't just go away on its own.. although, that would be great, if you upstairs are listening, the "just goes away on it's own" thing sounds GREAT!!!!!!!!! So, that is an update on me, and what I have been up to. I still read a lot of blogs, and often have to tell my hubby what I am reading about, especially the stories on Lu's blog page at www.justlu.com --- she can tell a story like no one can :) I really hope this isn't as long when I hit save as I think it might be... but oh well.. I'll try to update more frequently :)

Angel Chasse (again)