So, Obama is the "presumptive nominee" for the Democratic party in 2008. Wow, what a long long long journey it has been to this point. I guess I have to say that I am proud and awestruck that after the injustices of the civil war and beyond in this country, we have a black man running for president!!
I am turning 30 this year... what to do what to do... I hope to celebrate it and have some fun. It seems to me that 30 is "old" that 30 is.. not young anymore.. I guess I dont feel a lot different but I do notice that things and people seem to irritate me more easily. I am not sure if this is age, or climate, or just me, or what the deal is.. but I do know it has been happening... If anyone reads this, I would love to hear about what you did to celebrate your 30th birthday! I am not sure that a big trip is in the works, with prices of things the way they are, but I really want to do something meaningful, because for whatever reason, 30 seems important to me... not a twenty-something anymore not a teen..
Also with my 30th birthday, it feels that I need to finally accept and be ok with the fact that Jim and I will not have children. At this point, Jim in school, and me being 30 and him being almost 35, I really dont know that it would be right to bring a kid into the world, and be "old" while raising them... so with this 30 milestone, I need to and will give up on the fantasy of Jim and I having our own children. It will be hard, but I think that it needs to be addressed and dealt with and reckoned with once and for all.. It feels kind of like a death in the family, though there has been none. Sometimes, for a brief moment, I even revel in the idea that Jim and I are not sleep deprived, or trying to choose the best way to discipline a little one, or worrying about what kind of earth and world we will leave to them when we are gone.. but those are only passing moments. The other moments when I see a friend's child or I see the smile of a newborn in a store, seem to kill a little of me inside. But, I know that I can deal with this, and that I will deal with it, and the time to do so is now... so wish me luck :)
1 comment:
You asked about turning thirty, so I thought I would offer something. When I turned thirty, my wife said thirty was the new twenty. So, since you are turning twenty, you should do something memrabale. You only turn twenty twice in your whole life! So make the best of it!
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