Angel's Thoughts

What is wrong with me.

2011-03-02T16:45:00.002-06:00

In the first week of June I got a stomach bug. Went to the Dr and he prescribed antibiotics. Started vomiting so much that I could not keep much down at all. I went back to the Dr about a week or so later. I was getting dehydrated and lost 5 lbs. Continue the antibiotics the Dr says, and see me in another week if you are not feeling better. Another week goes by, I still try to eat but keep next to nothing down, and am now sipping blue Gatorade all day and night long. My stomach hurt and I was sick a lot.

I went into the hospital before fourth of July. (I remember because I was in for 2 weeks and the first week included 4th of July). They did test after test after test of my tummy and digestive tract and had me drink this and sip this and took pictures of this and that and everything. I could not keep any food down, and was throwing up or trying to almost constantly now. They finally let me go home with an n/g tube going down my nose into my tummy to give me food. That is a scary thing to have and is not pleasant at all. They were still not sure what was wrong, but for whatever reason I could not keep food down at all.. barely water.

During the last part of my hospital stay in July, they mentioned the word "gastroparesis." they told me that it was a "weak stomach" and that it means that the muscles that usually contract to digest the food I eat were not working well, if at all. I asked them how to get rid of that condition and they said there are some drugs to try and I went on some of them. My condition did not get better but I was stable so I was able to go home with my tube feedings.

In sept of 2010 I was in the hospital again because I was throwing up blood. It turned out to be just from throwing up a lot in general, so no biggie but they kept me for more testing on why I still could not eat. Gastroparesis was usually found in diabetic people or people with damage to their vagus nerve, which I did not have. More tests and more medications and 2 weeks again in the hospital and they inserted a g/j tube for feeding. It goes directly through my stomach wall and into my jeujenum and stomach. (Think tube sticking out of a man made belly button, so now I kind of have two..ha)

I went home with the new tube and feeding pump and supplies. I was on the third or fourth trial medication for the condition and it was not working. In fact today it does not work either. I have ran out of options for medications, so now I am waiting on my 3rd specialist in Minneapolis to see if my insurance company will approve a gastric stimulator, or pacemaker to try to make the stomach muscles remember to work again. There are meds that I take to try to keep me from getting nauseous and to keep food down, but they are not working. I try to eat something every day, because like they said, the condition came on without warning and may heal without any warning as well, so if I try to eat every day then I will know when/if I am able to tolerate food again.

This process has been long, frustrating, mind numbing, scary, gross and all around bad. I hope that soon I can get the pacemaker put in, and that it is the answer we have been looking for since last June. Eating is such a big part of so many human interactions, and to not be able to do it is very tough. Not to mention the physical side effects that will come with vomiting so much and only taking in liquids and multivitamins.

I have lost about 75 lbs through this process and I have chosen to see that as the one good thing that has come of all of this. I can now wear regular pants off the rack and xl shirts and etc. I have been shopping in the plus sizes for so long that it feels good to just pick something up off of the normal rack.

Ok, this got long and rambling, but I wanted to update on my health status and hope to get back to "regular" blogging soon.

Angel

Finally! Moved back to Sioux Falls!

2009-06-07T16:40:00.007-05:00

Finally!

We just moved back to Sioux Falls. Jim and I both love it here!

I have a few problems to handle though. I need to start being ok with the fact that our apartment, while large in size,and great,is OLD, and has things wrong with it that many OLD places have wrong with them. It seems we have any odd smells under control though...(I think the fridge was left shut and unplugged maybe?),so that is nice in and of itself. Floors creaking loudly, stained carpet, non-frost free fridge that gets a smell in it, those things I can not help. Perma-Dirt on the sliding glass doors I can't help (I have tried cleaning them :)

I need to get to a place where I can just have people come and visit and say "This is our place, we hope you will be comfortable spending time here with us" Right now I am in the "oh my goodness, is it going to smell funny in here if someone comes over, and will they notice this little thing or that little thing, and is this good enough and is that good enough. Do I have their favorite soda/beverage and snacks on hand? All of those types of things.

I know that life is not about possessions, and I don't have a whole heck of a lot of them, so I really don't normally think of myself as a materialistic person. For some reason though, this apt has me on edge. I know that in truth, if one of our friends IS coming to visit, its to talk with/eat with/visit with us, and that they probably don't give one hoot about the apt or if it is old or new, clean or dirty, organized or a mess. So why is it that I can type this out, I can say it to myself in my mind, but I can't shake the feeling.. urgh.

I love Sioux Falls and all that there is to do here! We can see the baseball team's fireworks on Friday nights when they shoot them off from our deck. We have a deck that runs the entire length of our apartment, so I can not wait to have people visit and congregate by the grill. :) We are near a thrift store, a grocery store and go-kart place, with mini-golf and well pretty much anything is about a mile away via the interstate exits :)

I want to be 10000% happy about this move and this apartment, and I want to be the person that is always inviting people to come, visit, eat, drink, share time with us. I want to do all of that without the feeling like I am going to physically be sick over it. Without looking over the house to make sure that everything is as perfect as it can be, and without having to go over a list in my head of good talking points, things to say if the conversation is lacking. I don't think that most people do these things. It seems to me that most people just say "come on over" and let whatever happens happen.. I want to be *THAT* person.

I hope that soon, very soon, I am able to invite people over (I have already invited some people, they just haven't made it over for the big bbq or anything yet...) and have a great time visiting with them, and spending time focused on them, and making memories instead of worrying all the time about stupid things that I don't even want in my mind...

The same goes I guess for me, with any social gathering of any type, even when it is not at my place. I want to be carefree, and fun and be able to just soak in friends and family and not think about "well, I should be helping with this, or should I see if they need help with... " or etc etc I am sure you get where I am headed with this by now.

I do see a counselor regularly, and at times I feel like I have made progress, but at times like this, I have a hard time understanding who I am, and why I allow myself to be this way, and have a hard time seeing these things ever improving. I am not giving up by any means, I am just tired. Tired. Tired of being anxious over everything and nothing all at the same time. Tired of making lists in my head so that I don't forget things... Tired of feeling like I want to pick up the phone and call a friend (now that I live right in town) and then not doing it because I assume they are too busy or that I will get too nervous to go, or too nervous to have fun and be fun to be around...

I honestly DO NOT know how any friends I have had for years and years put up with me, and I don't know how/why they keep sticking around. Its like my phobia is heights, and to go out for a visit with a friend requires me to climb up a free hanging rope to the 20th floor with no net.... urgh.

I will keep working on things though, and even hope to have a friend over or go out and do something with her and her family this week.... I hope it works out well :)

Teeth..or tooth

2009-04-02T22:27:00.002-05:00

Finally I come back to my blog. Mostly because I am annoyed. Not a great reason to blog, I know this, but...

So on January 30th I had an appt to get my (#14) molar pulled. It broke/cracked, and the filling fell out. Without dental insurance, the cheapest easiest route was to have it pulled...

I researched/googled, and my brother's girlfriend reccomended a "cheaper than most" dentist.. so I get nervous, go see him, expecting to have my tooth out. Good thing I already take anxiety meds, so I can take one before I go.

He can't pull it out. He says it will break, and he is not set up for that in his office. He puts me on an antibiotic and refers me to an oral surgeon. How thankful I will be for this, I do not yet know.

They refer me to a couple of local oral surgery places. I call around and find out about prices. Fixing teeth is not the least expensive thing to do, is what I figured out. We decided on a place, and made the appt for Feb 25. The broken tooth was now starting to be pretty painful when I ate.. so I was eating mostly softer things, on the other side of my mouth.. waiting for this appt so that the pain would be done...

I went into the dentist chair on the 25th of Feb.. he tells me that he could do a root canal to save the tooth. I decline (its very expensive and not always effective). He asks me if I want to be IV sedated for my procedure. I say no, just hte local. He makes me sign a paper that says that pulling upper molars can sometimes cause a "communication" between your sinus and your....nose? Well, ok, if they have a paper typed up about it to sign I figure it is not a big deal... I sign...

He puts all the novacaine shots in and I tap on my teeth because it feels weird and I want to tell Jimbo about it... the Dr comes back in after a few mins and checks if I can feel anything. I can't. He says we are ready to go and gets out ... pliers? Well a surgical instrument that looked like pliers to me. He says I will feel pulling and pressure but no pain. He is right.. a LOT LOT LOT of pulling and a LOT of pressure. But I did not actually feel pain. Just fear and hopes that it would be over soon... there might have been tears, I am pretty sure there were tears.. P O P.
The tooth broke the dr says (but to me it felt/sounded like an explosion. Well then he is taking out small parts of bone, and drilling.. not pleasant, but I am happy it is finally done.

He told me then that there was a small hole in my sinus so I would need to follow "sinus precautions" ... take an antihistamine every day 3xs a day and no blowing the nose for 2 weeks and no straws, no anything like sneezing that would possibly make pressure, and keep the sinus hole open. Ok, I get home in pain, and take the pain medicine. By the 4th or so day I was almost out of pain medicine, and Jim called the on call Dr. They said it should not still be hurting too much, and to come in for my check up appt early. So we make the appt and go in.

The Dr sees a (I am not certain, but pretty sure) 5mm hole. Shows it to Jimbo on the little dentist mirror. He says that it should have healed up by now, and that I will have to come back in 2 days for the "buckle flap closure." More pain medicine and more antibiotics.. and we go back 2 days later...

This time I opted for the conscious sedation.. iv drug (versed I think) and nitrous oxide to make me not remember. After they take a really cool xray of my teeth/sinus, he starts the surgery, and thankfully this time I dont remember ANYTHING about it. I went and sat in some recliner while they went to get Jim, and after a little excess bleeding, was out of there after 30 mins...

Now I am home, on pain killers, antihistamine, no sneezing, no nose blowing, no straws etc.. after the first full week it didn't hurt so much, so I was not on soft foods anymore (yay).. so after that 2 weeks of minor sometimes pain.

Then I wake up Tuesday night with bad "sinus" pain on that side. I take some medicine and wait it out and call on wed afternoon to move up my next appt, due to the pain. So we go in today, and he takes a new xray and says that things look closed, and healing well. He is not sure what is causing the pain, but thinks it is probably a sinus infection starting and gives me my (fourth) round of antibiotics. I see him again next week. If everything is fine, then the misadventure is over, if not, then he will refer me to an Ear Nose and Throat Dr, to look at my sinus.

I guess I laid out this whole ordeal becuase of a few things. 1. I didn't know until the age of 30 that I have a healthy about of fear of the dentist. That fear is pretty HUGE now. 2. I believed everyone who told me that you "go in, get the tooth out, feel better, easy peasy" 3. I have not felt this sick or not human, or dependent since I was a small child. Without Jim's help, support and taking care of me, I would have been sad and scared for weeks. 4. The oral surgeon is a great guy, and very reassuring and smart, yet he scares the CRAP out of me. 5. I am vain. I had a back molar taken out, I don't think anyone would know it if I didn't tell them... but to me it feels like a huge crevice, embarrassing and gross. I never knew I was this way... The things the dentist can teach you about yourself.....

If you have read this post, you deserve cookies and ice cold milk :)

Angel

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-23T14:45:00.002-06:00

Happy Holidays to all who read here!

I would like to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter... whatever you are celebrating with family and loved ones this year, I wish you the best and brightest!

I hope that 2008 has been good, and I really hope that 2009 will be even better! I am excited to see how our new president tackles the tough job(s) put in front of him. I am thankful that my family and friends are healthy and happy. I am looking forward to gathering with my family on Dec 24th and having a big meal and exchanging gifts (I love to buy gifts for people, there really is nothing better!!) It will be my niece's first holiday season! Strange to think that I am 30 and she is not yet one year old :):)

Whatever you do, no matter where you go, know that you are wished warm hugs and fun treats (bring on the cookies :) )

Jim and I are starting a tradition of "Christmas Day Lasagna" -- We are going to indulge in our favorite food all day long... we are so easy to please :) We are also now exercising and keeping track of and limiting our calories each day... so I guess getting started on a "new year's resolution" early :)

Happy Holidays, travel safely and make lots of memories!!!

With love,
Angel

Barack Obama

2008-11-06T16:24:00.003-06:00

Here is Barack Obama's speech from election night. I hope that any who disagree with him being the choice for the next president can at least give him the time and any help that is asked of us to turn this economy and country around. Congratulations President-Elect Obama!

I personally am very proud that as a nation we came together to elect this man because of his principles, and his direction for the country, and we were able as a nation to put race aside and choose the best person for the job. Now if only we were not banning people who love each other from getting married (prop 8 is going to pass in California)

It's a great time for America!!

Angel

Happy Birthday To Jim!

2008-11-03T19:54:00.002-06:00

Happy Happy Birthday to the love of my life!!
I hope that the coming year brings you more joy than you think you can handle!
I love you,
Angel

Song lyrics

2008-10-24T16:13:00.004-05:00

Here are the lyrics to a song that I really like. It's one that gets stuck in my head a lot, even when I least expect it. I thought I would share it here on my blog.

"Brand New Day"
--By Sting

How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair
And how many times do you swear that you'll never love again?

How many lonely, sleepless nights
How many lies, how many fights
And why would you want to put yourself through all that again?

"Love is pain," I hear you say
Love has a cruel and bitter way
Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain

How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost?
You never want to feel so sad and lost again

One day you could be looking
Through an old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
You could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet
But that same old smile that you've been thinking of all day

You can turn the clock to zero, honey
I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day

Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if she'll take me back
I'm thinking in a brand new way

Turn the clock to zero, sister
You'll never know how much I missed her
Starting up a brand new day

Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river's wide, we'll swim across
Started up a brand new day

It could happen to you - just like it happened to me
There's simply no immunity - there's no guarantee
I say love's such a force - if you find yourself in it
And sometimes no reflection is there

Baby wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute
Wait a minute, wait a minute

Turn the clock to zero, honey
I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day

Turn the clock to zero, Mac
I'm begging her to take me back
I'm thinking in a brand new way

Turn the clock to zero, boss
The river's wide, we'll swim across
Started up a brand new day

Turn the clock to zero buddy
Don't wanna be no fuddy duddy
Started up a brand new day

I'm the rhythm in your tune
I'm the sun and you're the moon
I'm a bat and you're the cave
You're the beach and I'm the wave
I’m the plow and you’re the land
You're the glove and I'm the hand
I'm the train and you're the station
I'm a flagpole to your nation - yeah

Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Starting up a brand new day

I'm the present to your future
You're the wound and I’m the suture
You're the magnet to my pole
I'm the devil in your soul
You're the pupil I'm the teacher
You're the church and I'm the preacher
You're the flower I'm the rain
You're the tunnel I'm the train

Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
Starting up a brand new day

You're the crop to my rotation
You're the sum of my equation
I'm the answer to your question
If you follow my suggestion
We can turn this ship around
We'll go up instead of down
You're the pan and I'm the handle
You're the flame and I'm the candle

Stand up all you lovers in the world
Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl
Stand up all you lovers in the world
We're starting up a brand new day

If you are like me, and would like to hear/see the video for the song, to get a sense of how the lyrics are used.. here is a link to the video on YouTube.

Watch the video on YouTube

Enjoy, have a great fall weekend all!!

Angel

Please Vote!

2008-09-26T19:13:00.006-05:00

I don't really like to get all political with anyone but my husband.. cuz, well I sometimes find it wrong,annoying,irritating and just generally messed up to hear others rant and rave about their views.

What I do want to say in this blog post is please VOTE. VOTE for whomever (whoever?) you feel is best qualified, but please cast your ballot. Elections in this country have been closer as of late than I think many people think that they really are.

Jim and I both cast our early ballots last Wednesday. I take great pride in the fact that this is one very important but very easy thing that I have the privilege of doing since I am a United States citizen. I know many many many people who don't vote. I hope that I can convince them to take the nation up on its open offer to have a stake in this election, and all the ones to come. I hear a lot of reasons why my friends and family members DON'T vote. Things like.. I don't understand the cantdidates...I don't feel educated enough to choose between these two... I voted back in the election between (x and y candidate) and then look how that turned out.. etc etc...

Please don't let these things stop you from voicing your opinion with your vote. There is a debate on all of the free tv stations starting in about an hour tonight. Watch it, study the candidates in the local paper, online, in person if you can make it to a rally... just take some time.. I really think that anyone who does this, and in the end (November 4th) casts their vote proudly for the person that THEY feel will best lead our country in these panicky, rough timese .. I think that they will feel good about that decision, and proud that they did what they could do to shape the future of our country...

*gets off of soapbox*

Ok.... so.. Thanks for reading this post, and I hope that everyone that is legally able to vote that reads this blog post GOES OUT AND VOTES :):) Happy Friday to all...

PS.. .voting is not painful. Most polling places don't even allow campaigning of any type within 100 feet of the polling place so you shouldn't even be hassled when you go!!!

my two cents..

Angel

Vacation

2008-09-12T16:50:00.003-05:00

We had a wonderful vacation. This was a great way to celebrate me turning 30!!

We did lots of things each day, I have listed some of the main places we went in case you want to take a look. There is so much to do in Orlando! Instead of sitting around in the evening saying to one another "what can we do tonight" ... "nothing" ... there was ALWAYS something to do or to look at in Orlando!

Jim and I went on the vacation with my Mom and Dad. They had a wonderful resort that we stayed at complete with pool, huge outdoor hottub, pizza delivery right there if you wanted it.. tennis courts.. the whole nine yards! It was a great place, and we used it for some lounging and pool time, but we were on the move most of the time.

Jim and I were on a budget on the trip as well, and we STILL had a more than spectacular time. A couple of the things we did, we had tickets in advance that we bought online. We found out that the dinner show we went to was regularly 55 dollars, and we got our tickets online for 24.00 a piece! I am going to make sure to see what I can save on online in advance of any other trips I take!!! We did not do any of the theme parks, but I think we saw a bunch of them. I kind of feel sorry for my parents when it is time to take the small grandkids, seeing as we wanted to see Epcot, and the tickets were 85.00 ... ouch.. good thing we are old enough not to need to see those things :):)

One night we went to citywalk, and drank hurricanes at Pat O'brien's. I had 3, and I should have only had one. Something they do with those drinks masks the fact that each 24 oz drink has 4 oz of rum in it!!!! The next day wasn't as pleasant as I had hoped... (read: I wanted to croak) ... but other than that one episode of bad judgement, we had a GREAT TIME..

We went to the Bass Pro Shop.. I even had fun there, looking around at all the animals they have set up and watching the catfish and such in the aquarium. I was surprised to see that they had a whole line of boats on display right in the store as well... talk about a big store!!!

There is a lot for a person who loves to shop... .we went to some outlet malls, and some higher end stores that I have never even heard of were there.. very cool to see all of that "big city" type stuff... reminds me that in little ol' South Dakota, we can be missing out on a whole lot... at the same time.. the traffic.. whew.. the traffic. I am not certain I could (or would want to) drive there. wowsers..

Ok, so my first time in the ocean was just awesome. I do need to get my "sea legs" though, because after about an hour of playing around and loving the waves.... well, I didn't actually get sick or anything, but I sure did feel like I needed to get out of the water and rest on the sand a bit. Then we took in the view from the tiki bar on the end of the pier, and got in the water again. I can see why Jim talks so highly of being able to go to the ocean whenever he wanted as a kid (in california) ... it really is a great way to spend a day. And works on muscles that I didn't know I had, too :):)

I would gladly go back to Florida anytime. I loved it. One thing that did surprise me was how humid it was every day, 24 hours a day, and how stifling the heat of the midday sun can be there. I mean, wow, South Dakota gets hot, and we complain about humidity.. but wowsers.. and we were not aware before we went that they have a slight rain/thunderstorm most days, seems to be around 4-6pm ish... now I am not sure if this is truly typical, but while we were there, it would cloud over, rain a bit, maybe some lightning, then clear up and you can go on with your day. Very diferent it seems than here, where a thunderstorm usually lasts a while, and ruins out door plans.

Where We Stayed The resort that my mom and dad own, they hosted us for the week.

Old Town We had a great time checking out all the rides and shops, and the "nostalgia" of this area.

Downtown Disney Tons of great shops and eateries, lots of must see for any Disney fan! (Slideshow from here below :-))

Cocoa Beach Pier One day we spent at the OCEAN. It was my first time. We even had a drink in the tiki bar on the pier. It was a great time!

CityWalk We came out here to drink and walk around all of the shops and nightclubs. I really never made it past Pat O's though...

Pat O'brien's @ CityWalk Just a hint... If you go here, and you want a hurricane drink... Only have ONE...

Arabian Nights Dinner Show This was a great fairy tale story told with beautiful horses. They also serve you dinner and soft drinks while you watch.. A must see if you are in Orlando!

Pointe Orlando At Pointe Orlando, there are a ton of neat shops to look through, and a GREAT pizza shop!

International Drive Shops International drive has more to do/eat/see on it than most anywhwere else I've been. We took in a lot of the shops.

Bass Pro Shop Normally I would not be a huge fan of a hunting/fishing store, but the aquariums and animals all over made it fun.

We also visited 4 huge Flea Markets: 192 Flea Market, Visitors Market, Main Gate Flea Market, International Drive Flea Market

Going on a vacation...

2008-08-21T08:55:00.002-05:00

So for my 30th birthday I am going to get to see the ocean. If tropical storm Fay has her way, I won't actually swim in one, but I will see it.. yup. We are going to Orlando, and staying in the timeshare there that my parents have (thanks for that mom and dad)

My parents have been to Orlando before, so I think that is great, they will be able to show us around a bit. We are going to one dinner show, Arabian Nights... with the beautiful horses and of course dinner... We are going to the beach and to get some pictures of cape canaveral. Other than that, sightseeing and "Citywalk" (Emeril's restaurant is there) and lots of assorted other fun things. From the looks of it, we may have to find a lot of indoor things to do, as it might be rainy much of the stay. Darn it Fay! Go Away! Vacationers don't want you, and the locals are SO SICK of you!

So I will be away for a while and then hopefully back with some great pictures for all to see :)

I'm 30, I'm 30!

2008-08-04T21:19:00.003-05:00

I just wanted to commemorate my 30th birthday with a blog post.

I was not very excited as the 30 mark approached. There is so much I haven't done in my life, and so much that I may never do, and I think that milestone birthdays serve as a reminder of that for me.

I did want to share however, that the last 10+ years, I have been lucky enough to have a wonderful man by my side through all of my trials and failures, the laughing and the crying, the giving and the taking. That man is my husband, Jim Chasse. I don't know how my life would have been without him in it, but I don't really ever want to think about that. He is perfect for me. He takes care of me, but understands when I want to try to take care of myself. He tries to gently lead me into doing the right thing, but never tells me what to do. He is a friend and a lover, and he treats me as his equal.

Jim has been always trying to move himself forward, in every sense of the word. From finances, to innner understanding, to formal education in college. I admire so many things about Jim, and in many ways wish to emulate the stamina and positivity that he puts into his life, and into my life and into the world.

I love to just spend a day with Jim, debating about the next president, or flawed foreign policy, or the welfare system, or just why certain things should not be allowed for a child. We can talk for hours and hours about nothing, or anything at all. I love to hear what he has to say, and though at times we don't agree on specifics, our general outlook on life is very similar.

I love Jim for being himself, for not letting what others say or do change who he is, and what he does or says, or how he acts. He doesn't put on airs, and he doesn't think he is any better or any worse than anyone else in the world. Different, sure, but not any worse or any better.

I wish I could prioritize like Jim does. He has a great way of knowing when something "doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things" and is able to let those things go and focus on other things that are more meaningful.

Jim is a kind and gentle soul with me. If ever I need reassurance, or to feel safe and loved, he is the first and last place I need to look for those things. I have trully found my soulmate, lover, confidante, and best friend. I am so lucky to have entered my 20's and now my 30's with him by my side, supporting me, loving me and being there for me no matter what. I sometimes am in awe of how lucky I am to have found this person this early in my life. Hopefully he and I have many many many years left together.

Randy Pausch

2008-07-25T12:59:00.003-05:00

An earlier post I made included video of "The Last Lecture" given by Randy Pausch.
As he knew it would, the pancreatic cancer has ended his life.

I for one, am saddened that such a bright, energetic, "doer" and a man of such intelligence has died. I am also glad that he got the time to say the things that he wanted to say before he died.

I hope that his family and all that knew them can find peace in what a great man he was and all that he gave to the world before he left it.

Here is the link again to the last lecture if you have not seen it..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Kinda Whiny

2008-07-09T22:10:00.002-05:00

Its HOT here now.

HOT makes me NOT want to ride my bike..

I can not complain too much, because compared to last year, we had an absolutely COOL and NOT HUMID June this year! WOO HOO :)

I fell in love with the treadmill at the gym that Jim is working at for the summer... and then I found out that it runs aproximately 6900.00 (That's right, almost seven thousand dollars american) hehe..

We will most likely get a treadmill before summer is over, but it will not be the one I have been using at the gym :) ;)

We have planned a trip to the beach for Friday, as Jimbo has the day off, and it is expected to reach 96 degrees here.. Cool lake water here we come :) We were rained out a couple of weeks ago when we made the journey, but I looked at the weather forcast on 3 websites, and no rain is forcast at all on any of them :):)

Jim got a new digital camera in anticipation of the Orlando Florida trip at the end of August, so he will no doubt be busy trying it out in the meantime.. :)

I have the Casio Exilm exZ57 and he has the Casio Exilim ex Z9 :) I have 5 megapixels and cruddy video capability, and he has 8 megapixels and High Quality video capability.. its all a trade off.. hehe..

I just asked Jimbo for the model # of his camera to post it here, and he said "why, are you looking it up to see the huge price drop that has happened since we bought it.." haha.. I didnt know about that. Such is life.... Wax On, Wax Off... hehe

We also got some "beginner type snorkel gear" for like 5 dollars at Kmart the other day, so Jimbo wants to get me all practiced up on my breathing through a tube etc etc before Florida.. wish me luck, I am not sure that this will be one of my strong suits.

Part of me wants to see if there is a safe reliable underwater case for my camera, but then the majority of me says "that was a big purchase, you would be devestated if it was ruined by water" ...

Oh, we got a great deal on woot.com today.. 2gb flash cards, a micro sd card for only 5.99 plus shipping. We got two of them at that price so in total we have 8gb worth of cards to take pictures and video with in Florida :) what great timing for that woot.com item.. we always joke here that "woot only puts the cool stuff up once they know we are broke for the month :) " ... this time we got lucky :)

Ok, this is getting long now. I wish you all cool breezes and plenty of iced tea/lemonade/soda :)

Angel

Sites I love (Most of them are daily must visits)

2008-07-05T21:24:00.003-05:00

www.rosie.com (Rosie O'donnell's website. She is the inspiration for me starting a blog...so I shall list it first here :-))

www.drdeborahserani.blogspot.com (Dr Deb's site, she always has new and interesting pychological topics and keeps your mind thinkin!)

www.ted.com (Now available online are many TED talks..check it out!)

www.thepioneerwomancooks.com (Cooking blog that I have come to love)

www.facebook.com (I am addicted to scramble game and wordtwist game)

www.keloland.com (Local news and weather)

www.woot.com (One deal per day, usually tech-related)

www.sparkpeople.com (On this website, I track the foods eaten each day and exercise done)

And of course...

www.jimchasse.com (Jim's great, and often updated website)
and
www.angelchasse.com (My ok, not so often updated website)

I would love to hear from anyone reading this on what they think are their "go-to must read daily sites"

Of course there are the more mundane ones for me, like my bank account online, cnn.com for news, shopping websites, and general news and current events sites... but the ones listed above I thought might be new for some people. I also am a part of 2 "free samples" type websites :) I love those.. Jim and I never have to buy things for our "Travel and toiletries bag" now :):)

4th Of July :-)

2008-07-05T21:06:00.004-05:00

This year we spent the 4th of July with my parents, at their house.

The day was laid back and relaxing. My sister and niece were able to make it, so that was a welcome surprise :) My niece is just shy of 3 years old and my has she grown! She used to take quite a while to warm up to us when she came to visit and it was great to see that that was not the case this time!! :)

The boys (Jim and my dad) made a contraption to explode a fire cracker and that in turn would blow a can off of the top of the little tube they were using. Sounds simple (and scary) enough, but it made for hours and hours of fun for all of us! Who knew blowing a can off of a tube could be so captivating?

We had a great time and ate too much for the diet.. but I guess that is the way it goes at holidays... We also got to discuss a little bit of an itenerary for our Florida trip at the end of August, so that was fun, and got us even more excited to be going.

A great time was had by all, and I hope that any one reading this now had a great 4th of July as well!!

Words found a lot on my blog :) Thanks Dr Deb :)

2008-06-26T19:03:00.000-05:00

Completely about me.....

2008-06-10T22:50:00.002-05:00

So, I posted before about how in August I turn 30.... well..
My parents own one of those time-shares that has timeshares everywhere it seems.
They invited Jim and I to spend a week at the end of August with them in Orlando Florida, and we happily have accepted (thank you to econonomic stimulus package) :)

We are going to explore the areas around Orlando, and also it will be my first time visiting/swimming in the ocean! Cocoa Beach FL here I come :)

We got fairly reasonable plane tickets thanks to my dad's relentless searching, and with the time share having a full kitchen, it really won't be too bad on the old pocketbook. I am very excited. Now, let's just all cross our fingers for no HURRICANES while we are there (last week in august) :)

I am pretty excited, both my mom and my husband grew up around the ocean (both in california) but I have never been. So I am excited about that, and to see all that the Orlando area has to offer!! Yay to turning thirty......not... hehe

Angel

Obama, and stuff about me :)

2008-06-04T21:00:00.002-05:00

So, Obama is the "presumptive nominee" for the Democratic party in 2008. Wow, what a long long long journey it has been to this point. I guess I have to say that I am proud and awestruck that after the injustices of the civil war and beyond in this country, we have a black man running for president!!

I am turning 30 this year... what to do what to do... I hope to celebrate it and have some fun. It seems to me that 30 is "old" that 30 is.. not young anymore.. I guess I dont feel a lot different but I do notice that things and people seem to irritate me more easily. I am not sure if this is age, or climate, or just me, or what the deal is.. but I do know it has been happening... If anyone reads this, I would love to hear about what you did to celebrate your 30th birthday! I am not sure that a big trip is in the works, with prices of things the way they are, but I really want to do something meaningful, because for whatever reason, 30 seems important to me... not a twenty-something anymore not a teen..

Also with my 30th birthday, it feels that I need to finally accept and be ok with the fact that Jim and I will not have children. At this point, Jim in school, and me being 30 and him being almost 35, I really dont know that it would be right to bring a kid into the world, and be "old" while raising them... so with this 30 milestone, I need to and will give up on the fantasy of Jim and I having our own children. It will be hard, but I think that it needs to be addressed and dealt with and reckoned with once and for all.. It feels kind of like a death in the family, though there has been none. Sometimes, for a brief moment, I even revel in the idea that Jim and I are not sleep deprived, or trying to choose the best way to discipline a little one, or worrying about what kind of earth and world we will leave to them when we are gone.. but those are only passing moments. The other moments when I see a friend's child or I see the smile of a newborn in a store, seem to kill a little of me inside. But, I know that I can deal with this, and that I will deal with it, and the time to do so is now... so wish me luck :)

Camping and mars :-)

2008-05-26T19:15:00.003-05:00

So this holiday weekend, we decided to go camping. You can see our camp setup at the left there. There is a small county park only about 5 miles from where we live, which is great with gas prices the way they are..and the park has a great trail for walking/riding bikes, and has a bathroom with a shower (with hot water no less) -- so for 6 dollars a night, it is a GREAT entertainment value!!

We had a great time camping, but we left after one night because we bought "sleeping mats" that are supposed to make it, well, less like you are sleeping on the ground, and more like you might want to ever sleep like that again :) haha.. we did not find them comfortable at all, so.. we had a great time, had a big campfire, and a great night of being out in nature and now we are back home.

One good thing about coming home on Sunday instead of Monday was that Jim got to track the Mars Lander on nasa.gov and got to see right away that it made a successful landing and is now sending back pictures!!! Pretty exciting.

Oh, and going back to the night before the camping and two nights before the Mars Lander, our friend Becky came over, and while on our way to eat, we were rear-ended. She has some pain in her back, which hopefully will clear up soon, but her car isn't going to heal very easily.. so, hopefully that is the last accident any of us will be in for a very long time!!!!

Eventful weekend, but more good than bad, Becky was able to come down and bbq with us, so we all had fun doing that too :)

What have I been doing?

2008-05-11T00:14:00.002-05:00

Not a lot. Really, not a lot :)

I am super excited that Jimbo was granted summer work/study, so he doesn't have to find a McJob in the McHeat of summer :) He will be in the air conditioning thank goodness.

We have been riding our bikes almost every day, and most days 4 miles or more, up to about 11 miles for me, and about 20 miles for Jimbo. I hope that all of this exercising and trying to eat better pays off for me soon, but I am glad to report that it is working gangbusters for Jimbo! Down nearly 30 pounds! WOO HOO!!

I notice that we notice the weather more now that we use our bicycles... wind plays a role big time in me wanting to ride vs not wanting to ride! Jim will ride no matter what, but I am more picky :)

We planted 4 bel pepper plants out front of our apartment in a big pot, so I hope that I have a thumb at least green enough to have them make fruit :) :) With bell peppers here costing 88 cents each, it would be great to buy a plant for 1.50 that will bear 10 fruits over the summer season :) :) If this goes well, we will get a community garden plot next summer!! We live with in a half mile of the plots, so we could ride our bikes everyday to check the progress of our plants. :)

In other news, it is Mother's Day tomorrow. I sometimes have a hard time with this holiday as I am not a Mother, and I wish more than anything that I was. I tried to focus my energies this year on smothering my own Mom with cards etc, and friends that I know that are great Moms as well... but it is still a day of a bit of sadness for me. And a day of sadness for a great friend of mine that just very recently lost her own Mother. So I always try to keep in mind to say a special prayer for those that are a little bit unhappy on this particular holiday. But.....A salute to all of you that I know that are Mothers! It truly is the toughest job in the world, and it is the one that probably comes with the least amount of credit :) Thanks! I know that I have a WONDERFUL Mom, and I wish that all others could have one so great!

So, to sum up... haha.. not that I ramble... Jim got work study so he will be busy working at the school in the gym this summer... we hope to get a paddle boat to take on a nearby lake.. I will be turning 30 this August... let me see.. have I forgotten anything? Oh, we hope to hit up lots of garage sales for great deals on things we didn't even know we needed :) :)

If you read this post, then a red tulip is yours :)

Love,
Angel

Randy Pausch "The Last Lecture...

2008-04-10T09:49:00.002-05:00

"Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," at CMU on September 18, 2007
Here is an experience of mine, seeing something on television that was "worth watching" I have the entire lecture posted here, on TV it was only snippets with Mr Pausch interviewed in between. There is also a book out, so I may get that as well. I hope that anyone seeing this page makes the hour and 15 minute commitment to see this video. I do not believe you will be disappointed. It is my opinion that you will be better for having seen it.

Cilantro....spring!

2008-04-07T19:55:00.002-05:00

This is a picture of one of my cilantro plants sprouting :):):):

Hey, I planted some corriander (cilantro) seeds, about 20 of them or so, and 5 are starting to sprout... they have only been planted a bit over two weeks.. I am so excited. It is more like I am a happy new mama than just a happy gardener. I don't grow things. I do not have a green thumb...at all... but here we go. Just some one dollar starter soil stuff from Walmart, and a packet of seeds.. a little watering and some sun... wooo hoo.. look what nature made with my help!!!

I do understand that my reaction to this is so.. third grade.. but.. I can't help myself :) :)

There is a community garden here in vermillion, and I intend to get info on what goes on there, so that we can grow some hot peppers and some bell peppers. I figure a packet of seeds could make a big bell pepper plant, and they are pretty expensive in the stores, so why not try our hand at growing them ourselves? I hope it works out.. we have no place to put pots out here, but hopefully on our bikes we can go by and check on things that we plant in the community garden :) I am excited... and though they are talking of snow this thursday and friday, I am not hurt by that, since all I have planted so far is my cilantro, and it is indoors by a window with sun :)

Ok, I guess that is all for now, just wanted to share my little slice of spring with you guys. I figured that after all the gloomy dark blogs, I could and should certainly share my good news :)

Happy Springtime all!!!

Angel

Hello? Spring? It's me calling....

2008-04-01T19:27:00.002-05:00

Ok.. wow.. so yeah...

Jim and I got our bikes out, and began faithfully riding. Jim mostly does it because he likes it, and it makes good exercise, and I mainly do it to add an exercise component to my "we are eating healthfully, now some exercise...what do I hate least in exercise? Oh bike riding with Jim" haha

So, we were riding every day, and I got up to about 4 miles or so comfortably, with only minimal complaining.. (OK I complain endlessly..sorry Jim) And, here is the big one, I was actually starting to like it a little.. getting to add that to eating right, so that hopefully I can lose some weight, but I guess more importantly, to not get winded as easily and to be able to just be in better shape overal, inside and out..

So I said all that to say this.. wow. Since we got our bikes out and started riding and every day since then has been crappy.. haha.. I guess that there have been maybe 2 days in there we could have ridden the bikes, but wow, it would have been too cold :)

So hello spring, this is Angel calling, and I would like it if you would please come to South Dakota and stay a while... I don't like your following friend SUMMER very much, but don't tell him I said that. ;-)

I hope that you guys all get a taste of spring that is a lasting one soon. And if you can, go for a bike ride... its faster than walking, and can be pretty fun ;-) and ride your bike to go get something to eat.. cuz if you do the math, you can have more wiggle room in your food choices if you rode your bike there, and are riding it home :):):)

What else is new with me? I guess not much! A friend of mine (Hi Shan!) is moving back into my neck of the woods from far far away soon :) very soon, and I promise her, and myself that I am going to VISIT her... no more anti-social me.. nope... and next on the list is going to visit another friend... she lives a bit farther away .. hello airplane trip :):) (Hi Marty!)

We are also thinking of saving up to get a paddle boat for the lake this summer.. I can't wait :)

Ok I think I will end this blog on that note, until something else strikes me :)

Angel

To Jim

2008-03-25T19:37:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while, you hear a song, and it seems as if it was written about you and for you and even like you wrote it yourself... For me the most recent one is by

Rascal Flatts called.. Every Day

And I would dedicate every last word of this song to my husband, Jim
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You could've bowed out gracefully
But you didn't
You knew enough to know
To leave well enough alone
But you wouldn't

I drive myself crazy
Tryin' to stay out of my own way
The messes that I make

But my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me
Yeah, you get me

It's amazing to me
How every day
Every day, every day
You save my life

I come around all broken down and
crowded out and you're comfort

Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know

Sometimes I swear, I don't know if
I'm comin' or goin'
But you always say something
Without even knowin'

That I'm hangin' on to your words
With all of my might and it's alright
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night-

Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh
Every day
Every, every, every day-

Every day you save my life

What do you do?

2008-03-23T21:01:00.000-05:00

What do you do?

Motherhood. Mom. Grandma

What if those things are never going to happen for you?

What if you want more than most anything to be a mother, but your body is just not going to let that happen for you? How do you deal with that?

I struggle. I see kids. I see babies. I see people with babies.. I see people who don't even want babies but have them. I know people who have had abortions... I just dont know what to do with these feelings. I am sure that somewhere, probably even near me... is a support group of some sort, or there are online communities.. I guess my point is how does one just accept this, how does one become ok with the fact that they will never have a child of their own, and that adoption, may never be available for them either.

Is there just an epiphany one day where you can all of the sudden see how great it is to not have to worry about a child, or care for one, or afford one? Cuz if that is the case, I have not yet had that epiphany. Or do you just stop wanting what you can't have one day? Do you see all the positives in your own life as it is now and just stop wanting to add a child to that life? I would really really like to know, because sometimes now it feels like I have been robbed...

It seems to me that being a woman might not entitle you to much in the world, but it seems that everywhere I look, women are having babies. Some planned, some not planned, some loved and cherished.. others not so much. It seems that this is an easy thing. Fall in love CHECK Get married CHECK have a baby (BIG NO CHECK HERE)

I know that to some it seems that I obsess over this one thing. To me it is a big thing. I am not getting any younger. I am not saying that I would even be close to a perfect mother.. no way jose.. but I would LOVE and CHERISH and CARE FOR a baby, and to me, it seems like enough. If you are willing to put that baby above all else and care for it and love it and support and nurture it.. I dont see that as a bad thing. I know that adoption agencies have to be choosy about who they place these precious babies... but does being mentally ill and not having a job right now really mean that I would be any less of a good mother to a child? I dont think so.. but there are some.. many I would guess that do feel that way...

I know this post is angry, and hurtful in the way that it is written, but sometimes I really just dont know what to do with some feelings, and I had to vent somewhere.. where better than the good old world wide web. URGHHHHHHH

Sick

2008-02-24T13:45:00.002-06:00

So I have nothing but time, sore time on my hands. So I shall blog...

Picture it, Friday before this... so the 15th.. Jim starts feeling icky.. sore all over... fever starts sunday.. take him to student health monday. They say its viral, take tylenol, claritin d and fluids etc. Ok, we go home, he starts that... Tuesday.. still fever, still sweats, still everything with the addition of sore throat and throwing up from coughing... yay.

Wed, thurs more of the same for Jimbo, worse feeling and worse.. so friday he tries to get an appt. Since everyone in vermillion and the tri state area is now sick, no appt. Nurse calls him in an antibiotic since he is coughing up so much ickiness.

Friday, I start to cough and etc... appt on saturday acute care... fun stuff

Need to mention that I have been to waLmart every day since monday, getting things for cough and cold and tp for blowing the noses etc...

Saturday.. we both sit in pain, and the only thing that seems to help is surfing the web to pass the time and get our minds off of it...

Sunday... I feel like crud, and jim still isnt much better. Add mucinex DM to the mix, and there is a funny scene with jim and I "doing drugs" in the kitchen... (using an inhaler that was part of the prescriptions we picked up) -- man bronchitis and whatever else this is that has a hold of us is powerful, and expensive! :)

Ok, so that is the update on the sick Chasse household. Ill update when I am feeling better... oh did I mention that the steroids and inhaler give me the jitters, thus the writing the blog so I am not just tapping my fingers? Ok.. later...

Angel.

Hello out there!

2008-02-21T19:27:00.003-06:00

Here is my new email signature....

--From the desk of Angel Chasse

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

What do you guys think?

What have we been up to? Not a lot going on. Read a book about the last days and Anna Nicole Smith. Interesting read for sure. I never know where all the facts come from in these types of books, so I dont know what to think.. but interesting for sure.

My brother's baby was born!!! She is so beautiful! I got to take lots of pictures of her last weekend so that was great :)

Jim is just now getting over being sick. They think it was Influenza, but the testing and medicines for that are only effective the first day or two of symptoms, so he had to just suffer and suffer and suffer.... urgh...

Going to start reading Alan Alda's book I think next. Thank goodness for the library, I could never afford all of these current books!

Valentine's Day with my sweetie was sweet, and we are both watching what we eat and tracking it on a neat site called www.sparkpeople.com and we even did pretty well health wise that day... (including 6 heart shaped sugar cookies we couldn't resist baking) :)

Next up for us is probably just resting and getting rid of these pesky germs that we have been picking up, and hoping for WAARRRRMMMMER weather!!! ((GLOBAL WARMING)) HA

I shouldn't leave so much time between blogging, so that I don't forget all of what I was going to say.... take care everyone reading :) (Shan,Trill, Dr Deb, Lu...special shout out to you guys) :)

Moving....is..not fun

2008-01-20T00:25:00.000-06:00

So... we were in a pretty small one bedroom apartment. We love the area and the apartments.. so when we outgrew that apartment we decided to upgrade to the 2bdrm apartment in the same complex.

Here is the thing. I love love love this new bigger more spacious and roomy apartment. It is actually big enough that it looks like we don't own enough stuff to fill it. HA HA.. So, just to recap.. love the new apartment...

Now.. here is the thing. I am guessing here that most people do not enjoy the task of moving. I am ome of those people. I am, in fact, one of the people that HATES moving. That's right, I brought out the big guns, the "H word" I really do not at all enjoy the packing and touching every single thing you own... literally. I also do not like boxing it, carrying it to the van, and then unloading it into the new apartment... then you get to unpack it all... ick ick

But I am over that now. We are moved, and unpacked. In what feels like record time. So now to just find the things we need to "fill the place up" :)

Oh, and I might have forgotten to mention that is was the coldest weekend of the year while we were moving :) Of course. Of course.

Maybe we will just have to live in this apartment for the next 60 years.. lol. No more moving that way!

Ok, the moving rant is over now :)
Stay warm all!

Angel

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T22:00:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2008!

Let's all hope that 2008 is the best year yet for all of us!

More importantly, I hope that we are all healthy in 2008!

Take care!

Angel

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-23T20:00:00.000-06:00

Why do I say Happy Holidays?

I say it because I want everyone I know and love that I am thinking of them, and that I want them to know that this is a special time of year for me. Winter starts, snow falls, a new year starts, and January 6th is the day that I celebrate the anniversary of Jim an I getting married. This year is our 10th :)

I also say it because I don't always know what holidays each of my friends celebrates. I wish you a Merry Christmas if you believe in the birth of Christ at this time of year, and Happy Hanukkah to those of Jewish faith... and to any others, just "I am thinking of you, and enjoy the end of this year and the start of the new"

I am so incredibly lucky to have Jim in my life, and overall for all of our circumstances. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you ARE reading this blog, you probably know me, and I know you... Take care, and be safe over the holidays and in the start of the new year!!!

With love,
Angel Chasse

Hello!

2007-11-29T19:44:00.000-06:00

Wow,
I have been very lucky lately!

I sign up for lots of samples, and lately I have hit some mother loads :)

I got a new electric toothbrush, some whitening strips, some free photo prints, a free blood glucose monitor, lets see, free chocolate ;)

We went to "black friday" sales, but ended up at walmart for a baby chopper, baby crock pot, and baby george foreman grill thing. All cheap :) under 5 bucks :)

Now, looks like winter will finally be showing his face.. winter storm watch for the weekend. I guess making a date in another town with the hubby was just too much :) :)

Jim and I will have been married for 10 years on January 6th. Wow. It has flown by, but I know there were times where we both felt every second tick by on the clock :)

Marriage is... I don't know.. so many things, its trying, its rewarding, its comforting, at times infuriurating (sp), elegant, cozy,fulfilling,awe-inspiring,fun, exciting,new, jaw-dropping..... sure there are times when things are a bit mundane, or even rough, but the longer we are married, the more I just try to let those things fly by so that we can get back to the cuddle on the couch and enjoy a tv show or movie part :)

Sure, I dont do well at it sometimes, but I try :) It does help that I have an even-tempered, thoughtful, loving, compassionate, logical husband :)

It's a bit early, but Happy 10th Anniversary, My Love...

I guess I will end this one with that :)
Angel

Almost Thanksgiving?!?

2007-11-13T15:50:00.000-06:00

Wow,

Somehow, time has really flown by!
Does everyone else feel like it is this close to Thanksgiving??

I should have more to report I suppose, after being off my blog for this long.. lol

www.angelchasse.com is up and running, and my cousin's baby is turning 1!!!

www.jimchasse.com is up and running too!

It is starting to get chilly here, but really not that cold, and many days it is still 60 :-) .. Global warming? ? ?

Jim and I visited his family, and we were soooo very excited to see that his sister and his mom have BOTH switched to CFL's (compact flourescent lightbulbs) -- GREEN GREEN GREEN :) and they have already seen the change in their electricity bill!

I get breaking news and health and entertainment updates via text message on my cell phone daily.. Today I got two.. one was "bird flu confirmed in England" and another was "biologist in grand canyon died of plague, transmitted by mountain lion" -- Wow, some days, just don't flip your phone open.

Oh, this just in Jim says that Folgers Custom Roast makes for good coffee :-) it was also cheaper than other coffees at the time :):) Double Yum!

www.blackfriday.info has some of the day after Thanksgiving sales flyers already up :) So far I think we are going to Best Buy only.. They have an MP3 Player for about half price that will do voice recording for Jim's classes... and they have 100 packs of blank dvds for 6.99 :):):) Also going to pick up a really neat Christmas gift :)

Jim has a link on his links page to a freebies site that we both look at. I can say with great authority that you do indeed receive the samples in the mail :) At least I have received all of mine :)

Ok, to anyone who read this far... Big slice of pie... (Mine would be pecan, but you have your choice of pecan, pumpkin, chocolate mocha coffee mousse, or new york cheesecake)

Happy Thanksgiving :-)

Angel

Fame

2007-09-19T12:09:00.001-05:00

Jim and I were talking before we went to sleep, as we often do...

One thing that keeps coming to my mind is that fame is great, and can allow you to live a life of luxury and wealth... but I think fame should come with a black box warning label.

It seems to me that fame somehow buys you enablers, and buys you the right to either not listen to anyone who has your best interests at heart, or maybe people around you just stop telling you when you are messing up?

I was saying to Jimbo that maybe once you make so much money that all of the people around you are paid by you... and since they are your meal ticket, you just "look the other way" on things that, in any other situation, and with anyone else, you would take a hard line and do as much as possible to help that person get back on track..

I guess it is probably easy to tell that I am referring to Britney Spears. But there are so many out there... Anna Nichole Smith was another... and I am sure there are tons of them.... people who have so much money and "power" that no one feels ok with telling them there are lines that you should not cross, and tell them when they need help.

I guess fame should come with a warning label.. I guess for me, I better just start buying lottery tickets, and make my millions that way (lol) I hear you have to actually BUY the tickets in order to win :)

I hope that all who are famous can find just one person they can listen to, confide in, and trust to tell them when they are not on the right track.. heck, push their butt back to the right track!!!!!

Oh, and as a post script... I need to stop reading celebrity "news"... gossip can NOT be good for ya to be reading... call me curious I guess... seeing how the "other half" lives...

And, PPS.. a special thank you to Jimbo, and the people in my life that keep me normalized, tell me when I am being crazy, and loving me through it all!!! PRICELESS

Fall ...Bliss

2007-09-09T15:04:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to make sure I updated with this great news. The air conditioner is off! It is about 65 degrees outside.. nice breeze blowing through the apartment!!

I am very happy about this weather :) I could take this all year long. I think it is going to get warmer this week again, but its OK, because I got this day!!

We got a new desktop computer. Very good processor, got it at Wal*Mart. I know that people see problems with them, but for a struggling college family, a nice desktop for $398.00 when the other places (locally owned) in town were charging 550...... I have to go with the best value for the money...

I also cut my hair.. VERY VERY short... We are going to call it... Shockingly Short. I like it. It was time for a change. It is also blonde now. I will have to post a picture sometime..

What I have been doing?!

2007-08-27T20:57:00.000-05:00

I haven't been doing a lot. Summertime.. for many it is the best part of the year..
For me, not so much. I do love that Jim is not in class, so we can do more together, but I am *NOT* a fan of the heat. Not in any way. About the only thing I can think of about summer I like.. well, 2 things... One is that we can swim in Lewis and Clark lake, in Yankton, SD.... number 2 is that I don't like to drive in the dark, so the days are longer and I can drive later :) ---- I know that many people probably think I am crazy loving the fall and winter, but lately, the snow has not been as often or as bad as I remember from when I was young, so I don't complain.. Top 10 things about fall/winter

1. Open windows in fall :)
2. Baking cookies and casseroles
3. Nice warm sweaters :)
4. Hot apple cider
5. Walks without sweating like swine :)
6. Brisk cool mornings and plenty of sunshine all day long
7. Curling up with Jim under a throw blanket to watch a movie :)
8. Pumpkins and pumpkin pie
9. Chili, soups, long cooking dishes and stuff all come back :)
10. I guess the top one for me would boil down to this... it is much easier to use a blanket, or put on a sweater to warm up, but much harder to cool down in summer!!

I can't wait until fall comes :):):) am I the only one? I will have to say goodbye to the lake and swimming and grilling, but hello to all of the things I mentioned in my top 10 :) bring it on :)

Thanks for reading :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Viva Las Vegas

2007-08-01T21:12:00.000-05:00

Hey :)

Happy first day of August!

Jim and I went to Las Vegas July 15th to the 20th.

The plane ride was fun. I haven't flown very often, so it still excites me. I am not fond of take off or landing, but I like the rest of the "up in the air, everything looks tiny" part :)

We arrived in the Mccarran airport. It's HUGE :) We had all of our luggage without any problems, because Jim is smart, and suggested, then instisted that we carry on. He stressed how much it would NOT be fun to get to Las Veags with only the clothes on our backs if our luggage was lost.

Leave the airport, get on a shuttle *they are not free anymore, cost 8 dollars each plus tip* The trip was quick, and the shuttle driver was very nice and gave us tips on what buffets to hit while we were downtown.

We were staying at the Las Vegas Club. Now.... would I stay there again, maybe not... but it did work for us. Sure it was dingy, no frills, older etc etc.. but for the price, and for it being right in the middle of the "Freemont Street Experience" it was great. All we did was sleep and shower there. We showered, and showered and showered!! (It is hot hot hot hot)

The first night we ooohed and ahhhed at all the lights of downtown freemont street, and went into the big casinos and got players club cards as souveniers, and for the free stuff.
It is good to note at this point as well, that most of the players clubs used to give you a "fun book" with coupons to pull out of the book and turn in for free drinks, tshirts, free play, free buffets etc etc. Many many of the casinos have stopped doing the fun books, and give you nothing for signing up, or a tshirt. We DID however find 2 casinos that gave you a code to get 10 dollars free slot play. For cheapskates like us, it was a major SCORE :):)

On freemont street they have entertainers on the streets. Most nights we would be walking along under the big canopy and see a gentleman playing saxaphone, or piano, or singing. It was great, and free entertainment. Though it all happened outside, it was still great to see people gathered to hear their music!!! Freemont street also had 2 casinos that had 99 cent margaritas. We didnt find out until later in the week how rare this was in Las Vegas, and how much we should appreciate drinks at this price :)

Monday we went to the strip. We rode a bus called "The Deuce" Its a double-decker bus that's route is to go up and down the strip. Whenever the doors opened at a stop, this voice came over the speaker and said "Have fun, Ride the Deuce.... 2 dollars one way, five dollars all day pass" it became a running joke with jim and I.. it was so sing-songy, so we said it one another all the time... :):)

We started at treasure island, looked at the ship and the water, walked through the casino, and fell for the "buy one get one free drink" coupon... the margarita was 9.50... for ONE ... yah... so the strip is expensive! We didnt do that again! Next came the mirage. We got pictures of the waterfalls outside of that one and walked through... I am sure there was another one, but the next one we toured and took pictures of was the Bellagio.

The Bellagio is one of the most beautiful buildings I have been in. Everything was intricate, and in good taste. We took lots of pictures and marveled at how much marble and "fancy stuff" we saw in there. We also walked by the restaurants, and were AMAZED at how much a meal in some of those places was.... not South Dakota prices, that is for darn sure.. I think we saw one where a DESSERT was 83.00 yup eighty three american dollars....... yup....

We went outside to watch the fountain show.. it was so hottttt out there waiting, but the fountain show was great. I took video of it with my camera, and it turned out pretty well :)

One of the things that was a little bit upsetting was that many of the things that were listed as "free atractions" on the web were not operational anymore, or now had a price tag of 10-20 dollars per person... so, a tip... really check on things if you are on a tight budget like we were.

I guess I dont remember what happened every day in order... imagine that.. but we also went the next night to a casino called casino royale, and played 50 dollars each "free slots" they set you up at these "fake" machines and you play your 50 dollars. The only time you get paid is if you get the jackpot on your machine.. we played on those for about 2 hours, and it was fun, but we didnt win, and we didnt see anyone else win either...

We got buy one get one free buffet coupons for most of our meals, and the ones that we didnt eat at buffets we ate at the mcdonalds in the hotel that was one over from ours... its "sister" property, the one with the pool and a few more ammenities than our hotel had.

All you can eat steak and crab buffet one night, all you can eat filet mignon and shrimp scampi one night, then a couple of lunch buffets... food is aplenty in vegas, but beware, some buffets are over 20 bucks per person at LUNCH TIME :):)

One of my favorite times was touring through the Wynn hotel. That one has even more marble and intricate detailing than the Bellagio!! I took some pictures in their atrium.. they have trees with these "balls" hanging from them.. they were flower arrangements made into the shape of balls, and they were marvelous!!! Made me want to have someone make one for me.. but alas, it would die in a few days I assume!!

We went to fashion show mall on the strip one day... it was a fun thing to do where we could be inside and not HOT :):) They have stores in this fashion show mall, and in the forum shops at caesar's palace... that I have only heard of in movies or magazines... Cartier, Rolex, Dolce and Gabanna, playboy store, tiffany s, bloomingdales... wow some pricey stores for sure... a lladro store, fao schwartz, many many many... and they are the kinds of stores where it is a huge store, but there are only a few items on any racks or in sight... I always think that is odd... where is all the STUFF.... I guess I am used to walmart :)

So I guess our trip was fun, I had a good time with Jimbo, and I am glad we had a vacation together, but Vegas really isn't the town for us. The lights, the action, it is all great, but things are EXPENSIVE... tipping everyone you see almost, eating, drinking, shows.. it adds up so fast.. and that is not even taking money aside for gambling... we are not much of the gamblers... I guess since Jim spent a lot of his life in Reno (little vegas) and saw when food and drink and freebies used to flow like bottled water (haha) ... we were taken aback at how much things really cost there... Next vacation, I think we will do a cruise (and take a lot of money with for tipping) or go to another destination where there is an OCEAN to swim in.. because that entertainment is free :):)

One of the best values in Vegas in my opinion is going up in the tower at the Stratosphere and catching the fade from day to night over Vegas :) It's 11 dollars for some of the best views of vegas!!! If you are going to Vegas, do this!!!!!!!

If you would like to see a few of the pictures I took, you can look at my flickr page

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mciangel

Welcome to Vermillion SD

2007-06-04T19:09:00.000-05:00

Well, we did it.
We finally are done moving to the apartment in Vermillion.
Jim is all registered for fall classes.
We are getting to know the town.
What we know so far is that it is small and things are not always open late.
We also are having trouble finding our normal plethera of wi-fi hotspot options :)

The cable internet will be on June 15th though, and we can start to feel like we have a link to the outside world again. (seems strange how much we like to read and look up our news compared to waiting for it to come on television or *gasp* the morning newspaper) Oh, and the local paper is about 7 pages, and seems to be published weekly....

We are very much looking forward to our first "vacation" together. This July will be the first time that Jim and I have flown somewhere with only the intention of having fun together :):) woo hoo! Jim is also looking forward to fishing/camping excursions with his brother. I think that I will probably stay with a friend during those times, as I am a big downer on a campout.. (wheres the tv/internet/shower/stove/convienience store?) :)

So, just an update, we are now Vermillion South Dakota residents.... more later :)

Angel Chasse
June 4th 7pm

My Blog, My Opinions....

2007-04-23T12:38:00.000-05:00

If you have an extra 10 or so minutes, I would really love for anyone reading this to watch this video.

http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=2715238n

I usually try to not be offensive to anyone. Just ask my husband. I don't even like it when he swears in public or in a store where there could be kids, or people that are sensitive to language.

Watching 60 minutes last night though.. I can NOT get this portion of the program out of my head. The story was about "Snitchin" -- I guess from what I can gather, it used to mean don't be a tattletale, don't turn in your buddies. NOW it seems to mean something more like... don't ever help a police officer.. no matter what you saw, no matter what info you mighth have that could help them.

Now to me, that seems SERIOUSLY STUPID...and CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT... but, that is just me.. I was discussing this with my husband, and he was basically just listening to me vent about how much this story does NOT make sense to me... and all I can think of is... what if one of these rappers that have "stop snitchin'" in their videos, and say it whenever they get a chance... What would happen if God forbid, one of their kids was missing, or kidnapped, or hurt? What then? Do they go to the cops for help then? I don't really know, but I really think that this line of thinking is dangerous... and criminal! I am no expert on what it is like to be a rapper, but I think that these people KNOW the influence they have on the young popluation that listens to and buys their records.... and to be telling those people that cops and law enforcement is bad, and doesn't deserve their help....... SICK...

But, knowing this information, will people stop buying their records, their merchandise, stop going to their concerts? I highly doubt it. I am all for free speech.. I really am... 100%.. but I am also 100% for taking responsibility for your actions, and that when you are in any sort of position to have people look to you for guidance, you need to be RESPONSIBLE...

http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=2715238n

I am not, as I said, a hugely political blogger, but I had to get these thoughts down.. I was SHOCKED by what I heard in this interview... really worth watching I think...

Angel Chasse (again)
1245 PM 4/23/07

CONGRATULATIONS JIM!!

2007-04-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

Congratulations are in order!!!

My Husband, Friend, Love, Hero, Confidante, Personal Chef, BFF.....

Has been officially ACCEPTED into the Psychology program at USD *The University Of South Dakota, Vermillion Campus*

I could not be more proud! Just goes to show, that when a good man puts his mind to something, anything is possible.....

I love you Jimbo, and I am so proud :)

Angel

What a difference a day makes...

2007-04-16T12:23:00.000-05:00

What a difference a day makes. I was going to make a post to my blog about Imus being fired and how I felt about that.
Look on the net today and see that at least 22 people killed in a school shooting. At Virginia Tech.

What a difference a day makes. What a change in perspective for me. WOW.
I wish the people who lost loved ones peace.
Sometimes things like this are such a harsh reminder that this world is full of bad things. That the world isn't quite as safe as we let ourselves believe. Not to start a rationale of fear, but just a reminder to keep on guard I guess.
I guess I am reminded that "tomorrow" isn't ever promised to you. Never

Angel Chasse (again)
1228 pm April 16th 2007

Menu Foods and College :)

2007-03-24T15:29:00.000-05:00

March 24 2007 330PM

What is new here? Not a lot. My mom works for Menu Foods *gasp*

I think by now everyone on the planet has heard of the tainted dog and cat foods, and now we know that it seems to be a rat poison that "somehow" entered into a supply of wheat gluten from China. My mom works here in the NSC plant, so thankfully, none of the tainted stuff was used in her plant... I don't think they make the types (cuts and gravy) that are being recalled. This is one of the first times in my life that a recall has affected me directly. I worry not only because people's pets are being hurt/dying, but because my mom's livlihood is made in that plant. She just got an office job that she loves, and is doing very well with :):) I hope that things are ok for Menu Foods...

Jim and I aren't up to much. I got to spend 4 days last week with my cousin and her 4month old. She is so cute. She is smiling and giggling and laughing and kicking her legs and flailing her arms now... very cute. She is just getting over Influenza B and thank goodness, she didn't get severely ill from it. Just some general "I don't feel good, hold me" stuff... Such a cute baby!!! My cousin is proving to be a wonderful, and loving mother as well :):) I am so happy and proud to see that :)

Spring cleaning is coming up. We need to go through/pack/throw out many things, so that we only put in storage what we want and need. Seems weird to me that you have all these things in your house that you must have purchased for a want or a need at some point, but when you get ready to move, you find that you should throw it out... weird... seems that every time we move, we can fill up a dumpster easily, and we don't have very much stuff at ALL!!

So June 1st is the moving day to Vermillion to the campus of The University Of South Dakota. I am very excited! Lots and lots and lots of sidewalks and areas to walk around :) I hope that Jim and I make time to go on a lot of walks, and get a lot of pictures of the old buildings there. I think that it is great that we will be there for 3 months before classes start. By that time, we should know where all the buildings are, and where everything is in town.. That way, when Jim has to start a full load of classes, neither of us feel overwhelmed with all the "new"

Ok, nice cool rainy weekend here, so I think I will go through some stuff, and pack some stuff. If you are reading this, have a great day!!! Take good care!

Angel Chasse (again)

Loving this song... Have you heard it?

2007-02-21T18:28:00.000-06:00

Waiting on the world to change.... by John Mayer

me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want

that's why we're waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

and we're still waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

Let me preface this with....

2007-02-20T20:19:00.000-06:00

I am not an expert on anything. This blog is purely my ramblings about how *I* see the world, questions that *I* have, and things that interest me... that being said...

Anna Nicole Smith...

How did a woman that seemed to always travel with an entourage die this way.. where were her friends? Where was her family, and loved ones? Were they all too scared to tell her it was time to make some changes in her life? I don't know what killed her, but in my humble opinion, she really needed help. Why did no one help her? Where was their care and concern for her and for her baby before she passed on? Sad story... very sad. Someone (I think Dave Chappelle)? Said... "Fame takes you to a place where character can not sustain you" I seem to think that more and more that is true

Is this our "Viet Nam?"

It seemed to me at the time that the president made the case for the war with Iraq, it made the most sense from the info we were given.. now, I most certainly don't think that is true.. if we had only known then what we know now... I know that my opinion would be different... ...hindsight....
I have been wondering lately though, if this was what it was like for the generation that was here for and went through Viet Nam... I know things were very different, but it seems that the feelings of the people of this country are somehow the same.. the feeling that we were duped in some ways, and the feeling that this administration does not have it right anymore... the feeling that something needs to be done, but not knowing what we as citizens can do.... and I often think back to the fact that we called for the impeachment of a president for lying -- perjury about having extramarital relations with an intern.. but GW Bush sends us to war with a country on false information... and it seems to be coming out that SOMEONE in the administration would have to have KNOWN the info was bad..... and what does he get? Re-Elected..... I don't know if these thoughts even make any sense as I write them, but I really just feel like this must be some of how people felt about the mess we got into in the Viet Nam war. There was a big difference there though, because some of our men were drafted then, and our army is all volunteer for this war...

I should follow this by saying that I fully support, respect and have the utmost reguard for the braver than i, more courageous than i, more self-sacrificing than i, men and women who make up our armed forces. My only hope is that they feel the love of all of us they are protecting, and know that I stand behind them and want every one of them to come home safe and sound...

Britney Spears.....

I hope that someone is helping her to see that something needs to change in her life, before it is too late for her as well.. again not anyone that I know, or have personal ties with, but really hoping for the best outcome for her...
Good Luck Britney!

I guess that is all for current events, but it seemed like there was a lot going on that I wanted to comment on... so there you have it..

Other than that, I am doing well. Have a headache that hasn't really gone away in over a month, but all the medical "bad stuff" has been ruled out, so now it is just up to me to make it go away.
Jim is doing well, taking a lot of credits this last semester at community college.. we are off to Vermillion June 1st to get settled in there before he starts classes in the fall.. we are very excited to be moving away from Sioux City. My parents and brother are here, which is great, but this town does not have what we want/need/would like to have anymore... I am thankful for it, since it is where I met Jimbo and where we spent our first couple of years together... but wow, it's not good for us now!!

Oh, one last piece of current events...

Sting&The Police are going on a tour!!!
Jim's favorite musician of all time is Sting, and through him I have grown to love love love Sting music as well... Jim and I hope to save up enough money to make it to the show in Las Vegas, and make it a double vacation seeing both the concert there and driving to california so I can experience the ocean for the first time :)
That will be in June... sooooo loooking forward to that :)

Ok, enough for now...

Angel Chasse (again)
Feb 20th 2007 840 PM

Happy New Year!

2007-01-18T09:48:00.000-06:00

Seems to me that I blog more than I do... must be all the times I think " I need to update my blog" and then don't do it!!

Just got back from a nice little 2 day vacation with Jimbo... very inexpensive, we went to Omaha NE and got a hotel with a pool and hot tub, and visited the huge malls. It really is easy to have a great time in that city without spending a ton.

Jim started back to classes this week. I am so proud of him for taking the initiative to improve our lives in this way... still I get a little blah.. when he has to go back to class.. a lot of his focus has to be on classes during the semester, as it should be... but still I like my Jimbo time :) :)

I am excited to go to my cousin's baby shower this weekend. Khia (her baby) is almost 2 months old. She opted for a shower after the baby was born (obviously) - I got her a bunch of books, and Jim and I made a pink dog at the "build a bear workshop" place. They let you make a wish on a little heart, and the hearts go into the stuffing of the dog... very neat :) I can't wait to get there and give these things to her :) :)

On to less happy things... or just one thing mostly. I have had a bad headache since like the 3rd of January... I think they are not sure exactly what is causing it.. could be a touch of increased pressure in my head.... so today I should find out what they are going to try to make the headache go away. I hate dwelling on it.. but it seems that I can't think of anything else sometimes when it hurts. URGH!!!! nothing I have tried thus far takes it away 100%... I am just happy I guess that I am not still in the hospital, and throwing up... that was not a fun few days....

I have been trying to keep up on people's blogs as best I can. I am going to put a new slideshow together and post it here too... I got a TON of great pictures of my niece at Christmas time!!!!!

I will be more dilligent about updating here... Jim is back in class, so what else do I have to do right??? :) :)

Angel Chasse (again)
January 18th 10AM

Check out my slideshow!!!

2006-12-01T22:06:00.000-06:00

New Cousins!!

2006-11-29T21:19:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays to ME :)

On November 19th at 6:28 AM I helped to welcome my cousin's baby... Khia Angel Lee (Last name here) .. sorry, didn't want to put the last name on here.. baby privacy rights :) :)

She was a small baby, but both mommy and baby are doing extremely well. I am very excited to have this new cousin, and my cousin Ashley and I were very close when she was younger... *I changed her diapers, the whole thing* .. I am very happy for her, and very proud of her :) She has a tough road ahead, being as young as she is, but she is very intelligent, and has all the love this baby will ever need.

Then....
Blake Alexander (Last name here) has arrived.
November 27, 2006 at 9:31 pm
He weighted 8lbs 9.5 oz and is 21 inches long.

So I was doubl-y blessed. Two of my cousins had babies born within a week or so :)
I have not met little Mr Blake yet, as they live in Ohio, but I hope to sometime soon here in 2007..... Congratulations and my love all around :):)

What else has been taking up my time? Not a whole lot. I have really been trying to get out and about more, and back to driving myself and Jim places, because I have been a passenger for far too long, and need to get back into the swing of a little more independence... **Jim and I are fine by the way** just trying to get back to where I was before all of this turmoil happened in my mind and heart... So I am working on that :)

Leo and Lizzie (otherwise known as the cats) are doing well... Lizzie has gotten a nickname of "shredder" by Jimbo... she really really really likes toilet paper, and basically any paper products :)

Sadly, on that note, we do need to find new homes for Leo and Lizzie when we move to Vermillion for Jim to attend USD in June. I don't think this will be a problem, except in our hearts.. we already have leads on a place for them.. our neighbors' boss keeps a machine shop, and its heated and cooled, and they always want a few cats around just to hang out there, and for good downtime :) so we will see...

I am very very excited about moving to Vermillion.. that campus is huge, and I really think that Jim will thrive there. I can't wait to see how the classes compare though, because I have heard that changing from a tech school to a university usually means tougher classes, and more study necessary... Jim can do it though.. he is a tough cookie, and when he has his mind set on something.. he doesn't let it fail... I might even take a class or two, we will see (after I see how hard they are on jim lol)

Hopefully, the move to the small (read:cramped) dorm efficiency will free up more spending money for Jim and I, so we can do more 1 and two day vacation excursions to places like Omaha and Sioux Falls. It is always nice to have a little more "fun money" so we are looking forward to that :) :) Having cable, internet, phone, and electric included in low rent rates is a BONUS :):):)

It is bitter cold here today...did I mention that? If I didn't... it was prolly cuz I am trying to mentally block the memory of it :) -- I do enjoy the snowiness of winter, but the bitter cold with wind, I could do without... and Jim has a rough cold going on right now, so that doesn't help him at ALL....

Ok, that is probably enough for right now... Enjoy the holiday festivity, and hopefully the closeness it will bring with friends and family :) Remember to be thankful for things as well :):) :)

Angel Chasse (again)
November 29th 930pm

Why I haven't Posted

2006-10-27T18:25:00.000-05:00

I am not sure why I haven't posted in well over a month.
I'm not that busy, though for the last 2 weeks I have been battling a cold and bronchitis..so that is yuck-o.
We went on a campus visit at USD in Vermillion, and Jim really liked it, as did I (can you say 3 coffee shops ON CAMPUS??)
We are both looking forward to moving there this June. We will be saying in family dorm housing (read:tiny) its basically one room is living/kitchenette and one room for bedroom and a tiny bathroom. I guess it is better than when I was looking at freshman dorms at a couple of colleges and the entire floor shared a big bathroom :)

The new kitten (Lizzie) is doing well. We are babysitting my mom and dad's dog while they are on vacation, and Lizzie is scared of the dog(bailey) -- so we will see how this week will turn out ;) lol

I've gotten so much sleep, and drank so much water in the last week. Holy cats.. I should be the picture of health :) lol

My brother's friend Ryan (a friend of the family really, actually) -- came back safely last Saturday from 16 months in Iraq. I am very thankful that he came home safe. On a leave last spring, where he was home for 3 or 4 days, the guy who does the job he usually does in his group was killed. Very sad. Again, we were thankful that Ryan was home safe, but to have to attend a friend's funeral while on leave is not good at all. So, welcome home Ryan, and here's hoping that your adjustment back to day to day civilian life is not too rocky... *hugs*

My brother was staying with us since June, and he moved out the first week of October. It is always nice to be able to help family out when they need it, but nice to see them move on and go back to just being Jim and I as well. So... that is about all that is new around here....

Also, I am not sure if I blogged about this yet, but my cousin is pregnant. I was there the day that she was born, and babysat her all the time... she feels more like a niece to me than a cousin. Anyway, she is 16 years old.... so, it will be a very rough start I am sure. We are all trying to be supportive, and I look forward to taking care of the baby if she'd like after she is born... I think that she has decided the name will be Makayla Angel Lee (lastname here) -- I was honored that she wanted the baby to have my name as her middle name. As I am sure anyone knows, Jim and I would love to have a child, but it looks as if it won't happen. It was very sweet of her to think of me, and to think that I am a person that she would like to turn to for help and advice with the baby. *warm fuzzies* She is due mid December. So far, everything looks to be well with the baby, and she kicks a lot, which should be a great sign...

Ok, enough blog blog blogging for me today. I hope to start working on our website again soon... www.jimandangel.com -- it isn't up and running (it might be, with an old version) -- but.. I intend to work on it as the nights and dark get long...

Take care all

Angel Chasse (again)
October 27th 2006 630PM

The New Member Of Our Family

2006-09-19T10:41:00.000-05:00

Announcing, 8 week old, Lizzie!

She is our new kitten. I didnt want a kitten when the opportunity first came up. Jim really did want a kitten. He won. We all won. She is a great little kitten. She has, I think, far too much energy for our family, but that is a good thing I am sure :)

The one thing that she does that needs to STOP is that when I am in the kitchen, and she doesn't have a way up onto the counters, she will crawl up ME to get on the counter... when I have my jeans on, just mildly irritating.... but when I have my pj's on, and she climbs up my bare leg... NOT SO GOOD! (read: OUCH)

Leo (our big cat) loves her, but I think that I am going to have a heart attack seeing them "play" together. It is crazy... he licks her, then cleans her, then fights with her, then bites her, and she yelps, and I freak out, and take her away from him. She then goes BACK over there!!!! Driving me insane.. I want to protect her, since she is so tiny.. but obviously, she is fine.. and *I* need to learn that :)

Cats as lessons for life.... someone should write a book... or someone probably already has.

In other news, I am SO excited. We have shut off the A/C and opened up all the windows! I even had to shut some because it became too chilly in the apartment! WOO HOO that is my kind of problem :):):)

Angel Chasse (again)
Sept 19th 2006 10:30 AM

September 11th 2006

2006-09-10T23:02:00.000-05:00

I wanted to honor those that lost their lives in the 9/11 attacks
I don't really have any eloquent words, just.. "you have not been forgotten in my heart, or in the hearts of the people of the world"

Five years ago, it seems surreal....

Angel Chasse (again)

August 29th 11 am

2006-08-29T11:15:00.000-05:00

So,

Once again, here I am saying I haven't blogged much... lol.. ok.. passing that up now...

We went to the Omaha Zoo. It was a great time, and I always love the aquarium that you can walk through/under. We had a wonderful time in Omaha. We fell in love with that city and its "old market district" - then we moved there, had financial woes, and ended up back here in Sioux City. Someday, with better jobs, and more financial security under our belts, we may find ourselves there again :) We still love it after all this time :)

Jim is back at school. Biology and lab, environmental science and lab, algebra, and american cinema... quite a full plate, and all classes I am not sure I would handle well :) Good thing he is the brains :)

My brother is still staying with us, and is going to WIT with Jim. This is his first time in college and so far I think he likes it :)

New insurance and new drs start this month. Wish me luck.

One of my friends, who happens to be an online friend is getting married Sept 5th. I am very excited for her, and a little sad that I can't be there to share her magic. It is GOOD that I am not going though, cuz I cried through my entire ceremony, and I am sure I wiould cry through hers as well :)

Another friend, again an online friend :) DR DEB :) has great news.... she has found a literary agent for a book she has penned.... :) GO DR DEB :)

Not a lot else going on around here.. just re-adjusting to the "school" routine, and schedules and such. I read today that the Farmer's Almanac says we are in for a bitterly cold, very snowy winter here in the plains..... we shall see about that one... other than a cold snap or freak snowstorm here or there, the last 5 winters have not been like SD or Iowa winters to me at ALL... we shall see...

Today is one year post-Katrina. Seems surreal to me that at this time last year we were glued (I was glued) to CNN and FoxNews and anticipating the flood of Katrina's wrath... Sept 3rd is when I left for Louisiana. Sometimes the sad faces from there haunt me, but most of the time, I remember how NICE, and HELPFUL, and THANKFUL, and GIVING, and CARING the people we sheltered were to us. All they were going through, and they were still great to us. I try to focus on that, and not some of the ick bad stuff that happened...

Ok, I will update more later :) Enjoy the day!

Angel (again)

My 28th Birthday.... and stuff

2006-07-25T19:48:00.000-05:00

First off, Hi Dr Deb.... I'm keeping fudgy brownies and ice cold milk at all times in my blog lobby, for your visits :) Help yourself please :)

Ok, now... My husband...

He got me a very nice, very very nice birthday present. A 5 megapixel digital camera! Now, I am no photographer...but I need to become one. This thing does Sepia pictures, shots where you take a picture of a background, then of a person in front that same background, and it will impose it on there for you... yadda yadda, its a GREAT camera..

I should have taken over to my parent's house when my sister brought my niece down to celebrate her 1st birthday. But, I just got it that day, and it needed to charge.. so... I will flickr some of the "first cake" pictures soon :)

I hate to say it, but almost better than the camera, was that I was under the impression that the flat panel monitor we got was my birthday present, and I thought (still think) it is great... but no, Jim said that I deserved to have a non "household" item that was just for me... that was cool :) And, the ultra mushy, made me cry card that went with it was probably the best of all of it. So, surprise, great card, camera, mug with teddy bear in it.... what can get better than that right? WELL, its not even my birthday, so it was EARLY :):):)

Now, I will admit that there have been plenty of years that Jim and I couldn't, for whatever reason, buy each other lavish gifts for our birthdays, but sometimes, it really is nice to get something that you have been wanting, but something that semed a little out of your reach :) THANKS JIM :):):)

But, on a different note, I will be 28 on my birthday, August 4th. I am a bit upset, because in my plans in my head, I would have had one (or two) children that were like, probably 5 to 8 years old.... well folks, that just did not happen. The more and more that I obsess over this topic, the more and more I have settled with the fact that I really need to just accept the fact that I will not be giving birth to or having children, and enjoy life as it is right now. I know, I know.. it could happen, we could adopt...all of those things.. but really, sometimes I think it is better to just accept the cold hard facts, and find a way to move on from it. Well, I am not a success story like that yet, but I am working on it. I will let ya know how it turns out (not sure who the ya is that I referenced there) LOL

In other news, my sister did come down this past Friday, and things were very nice. Visiting with her was great. I know that she was holding her tongue at times, but I hope that the experience was nice for her as well.

One of my best friends had her 2nd child, and her son shares now a birthday with my niece :) I thought that was very spiffy...

Let's see.. what else? Oh not much. Looking for a used car, as ours is about shot.. not fun to do, not fun for me anyway... :) Looking at new cars that you can't afford... now THAT can take hours and hours away from your day ;) :):)

Thanks for reading :)

Angel (again)

3000 Visits!!!

2006-07-18T18:21:00.000-05:00

My blog counter says I have had 3000 visits to this blog :) -- I am not sure how many of those visits were ME :) but... anyway.. I feel good about people wanting to hear what I have to say... Hrmmm.. that is probably not good... I'll have to look it up *kidding*

It was soooooooooo hot this past week here. One window air conditioner did not do it with the humidity and such. It got to be 80 in here with AC on. BUT... we borrowed a second one, and now it is a coooooool house I live in :)

Let's see, what else is new? Jim is still working the summer job. He works mostly 3pm to 11pm so that leaves me a lot of spare time :( but.. it is not tough, it's air conditioned there.. so not bad. He does have my birthday off (August 4th I will be 28) -- so... we will do something, not sure what, but something. I already got my birthday present early though. A 17" flat panel monitor for our computer. I am pretty excited about getting that, does that make me a geek? :):):)

I tried some tooth whitening gel on my teeth. I don't think it worked very well, but it was worth the try.

My brother is staying at our house. He needed a place to crash. I fear for him that we are just enabling his irresponsibility. He is a person with great intentions.. but rarely follows through. I am not one to talk. I am not perfect. I know this. But, I can honestly say that I try to treat people well. Sam (my brother) sometimes really only thinks of himself. And, he looks out for #1.. even if it means ripping a friend, or relative, or MOM off. I hope that this changes in him soon. I do feel like I should let him stay here, because I don't want him to live on the "street" but....... wow.. sometimes it is hard to try to help someone out.... but anyway... I chose to invite him in, so I will deal. I just hope that he doesn't drive me, AND my hubby to drink .... KIDDING :)

Another hot day tomorrow. 101 degrees and humid. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! NOT

Stay cool guys :) If you read all of this, you deserve a brownie and a big cold glass of milk :) :) :)

Angel Chasse (again)
July 18th 2006 627PM

Why Haven't I Blogged'?

2006-07-10T19:36:00.000-05:00

Why haven't I blogged lately?

I am not sure...
It's not cuz I haven't had time.
It's not cuz I haven't had anything to say.
It's not cuz I haven't WANTED to blog....
But...
I fear it is because I have not had anything nice or positive to say lately, so I have been trying not to turn this into my bitchy blog.

I have been sad. I have been cranky, I have been busy trying to quiet the voices in my head. I have been worrying. I have been obsessing. EWWWWW!

So, August 1st I will be setting up seeing a new Dr. - I hope that there is help out there. It feels like I have been on every pill, done every treatment, prayed every prayer. I can't seem to keep myself feeling better. I am weak, and when the least little thing goes wrong, it seems to push me down so much I can't get back up.

I *know* that it can get better ...blahblahblah

But what I don't know, is how people do it... how they keep going when they don't want to. When they feel sad and confused day in and day out, and that makes them cranky and irritable, and a pain in the neck for everyone around them?

It seems that I am annoyed... hurt... sad... upset...angry... one of these emotions.. more times than I am happy..joyful...hopeful...useful -- these days..

So, here's to hoping that August is a better month than July has been so far ;)

Angel Chasse (again)

Complaints 101

2006-06-16T21:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this is a "vent" or "rant" or "complaint" posting....

Federal Government... thanks for sending my check late..... thanks a million..

Ebay.. thanks for billing me automatically, with no notice, and saying I agreed to it... (I didn't)

Wal-Mart... Thanks for selling us a bike (assembled) with a bum tire, so that when we aired it up it exploded.... thanks for that...

Cable/Internet company... thanks for the spotty off and on service for internet. I didn't REALLY want to send that email, just go ahead and log us off, so that we have to redo all that work.. thanks.. oh, and thanks for not admitting to any network problems when we call to check on it.... Thanks!

Ok, enough complainin'
How's yall?
It's HOT here

We bought bicycles from Wal-Mart... 53.79 -- and, the first day I made it all of 3 blocks before having to do the "walk of shame" walking it back home...
The three blocks were mostly up hill, and that is my excuse.. oh, and yah, I am fat and out of shape, and inactive? LOL :)

Jim got a job. He will be doing front desk at a hotel here.. easy job. It might be overnights, so that might be tough, but I will survive.. I have the cat to sleep next to me :)

So far, summer is hot. Today is a day of thunderstorms, so maybe we can get back out on the bike tomorrow!

Oh, hole in the muffler, that is easy to fix. I hope that it is, so we can visit family this summer (with extra $$$ from Jim's job)

Ok, enough out of me for now, I have other people's blogs to visit :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Family Reunion

2006-06-04T22:15:00.000-05:00

Sunday June 4th 2006 10:11PM

Today was my Mom's side family reunion. Go, sit, eat, chat a bit, leave. Repeat yearly 1st Sunday in June. It seems to me that the family reunions are for the older people in the family. I wonder if I will feel differently about them when I am older? Time will tell I suppose.

I am not sure if I said so on this blog or not, but I had a small student loan from my one failed semester as a college student in 1996. Through moving, changing jobs, losing jobs, moving more, never having any money.... it has taken me until last month to pay it off. So, I am no longer a deadbeat in the eyes of the US Dept of Ed. -- that is a good feeling I guess! But, I am not sure if I am ready to take any classes just yet. I guess I would need to decide "what I want to be when I grow up" -- I haven't figured that out yet. I think that I might like medical transcription, or some kind of light medical involved field. Not sure. Not sure at all. I wish I could be a little more like Jimbo, and have a really good idea of what it is I want to add to the world community with my education. (His dream job is working in artificial intelligence, he is going to get a head's up on how that will work by getting to know how the human brain works in the field of psychology, in case you were wondering)

So, possibly in fall of 2007, we might be moving to Vermillion, so Jim can finish his bachelors and masters at USD. We have even found that they have small 1 bdrm dorms on campus for married students..cheap... :):):):) I hope that works out. Even more than that though, I really hope that Jim gets out of his education everything that he wants, and that he feels pride in the fact that he is very smart, and is doing a thing (succeeding in college classes) that many many many Americans, and people in general can not seem to do. That should provide a feeling of pride like nothing else. No one can take your education away from you. You have learned it, grown into it, and it is your tool forever to use. (can you tell I am a proud proud wife?)

PS... a job that pays $$$$ instead of $ from graduation on would be a GREAT BONUS :)

Ok, prolly time for me to go to bed!!!!

Angel Chasse (again)

Nothing in particular...Anything goes here...

2006-05-28T20:17:00.000-05:00

What to blog about? Lately I have ordered a TON of free stuff from my new fave site..

http://www.savingadvice.com/freebies.php

I think I posted it once before, but I had to do it again.

It is HOT here. I so don't like the heat.
Next month (mid-June) Jim and I are going to get new bicycles. I think that will be a fun way to get around... and with the price of gas, who doesn't want to use people power instead of petrol?

So, we are going to ride down to the bike trail that goes along the mighty MO, and ride ride ride. I think I read somewhere that it takes 6 miles of bicycling to equal one mile of walking.. so I know you have to go FAR!!... Mental note here.... quit riding away from home when you are half tired.... you have to RIDE BACK HOME!!! -- I am sure I will get stuck in that a time or two... forgetting that you have to ride back from whence you came (english is not my forte ..can you tell?)

Other than that... what is going on with me? Not a lot. Gonna get new Dr's in August if things go according to plan. Oh, and my mom's side is having their family reunion on Sunday coming up. Always nice to meet up with those folks, though not a lot of people in my immediate family show up, soooo... lots of folks I don't really know.. but am related to :) -- At least I always ride with my mom and dad, so I know them :):):)

Just had to give a shout out to the most recent post about ethics on Dr Serani's blog. She stepped up to the moral plate and pointed out to a "colleague" that he had something on his site that was not apropriate, and he totally acted like a silly teen and refused to remove the piece... Still... Dr Deb did the right thing, and she is pretty great like that :) if you don't already read her blog, you should start.. It is here...

http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/

In other news... Becky and Jim, not seeing a whole lot new in your blogs... get on that :)

Have a safe Memorial weekend, and another shout out to my grandpas.. I had 3.. all have passed on. Miss them all. Think of them often.....

Angel Chasse (again)

Tired... Reposted from April 2005

2006-05-22T19:55:00.000-05:00

I posted this to my blog originally in April of 2005. Now is it 5-22-06 and it seems eerily apropriate again. So, I am posting it again...

Tired

I am tired..
Tired of feeling this way
Tired of letting myself down
Tired of not knowing what life is going to need me for
Tired of seeing that other people do extraordinary things, even if they are tired themselves

Tired of standing by the sidelines, terrified, or watching on tv .. cuz I am terrified

Tired of letting the past get in the way of my future
Tired of worrying.. its not gotten me anywhere so far
Tired of having this dark cloud with me at all times.. and that cloud is so big and it rains so hard

Tired of being... well.. me
Tired of not even knowing who this .. me.. is that I know I dont want to be
Tired of making excuses
Tired of letting people take advantage of me, and feeling like a victim
Tired of not speaking up
Tired of running away
Tired of copping out
Tired of being a loser, when I WANT to be a helpful, honorable, useful human being
Tired of praying prayers for everyone, and not even understanding who I think is listening to those prayers... believing there is a higher power.. but wondering how he/she could let the things that happen in todays world happen... confused..

Tired of not making my voice heard
Tired of sticking with status quo cuz it is easier
TIRED of avoiding confrontation to the point that I blow up for no reason at the people I DO LOVE - because I have held it in with everyone/everything else..
Tired of fat
Tired of no energy
Tired of being co dependant
Tired of whining
Tired of bitchin and moaning..
Tired of ME

I'm thinking, I better try a new me .. cuz this one is NOT WORKING!!!
...Tired

Angel Chasse (again)

Vegas.....

2006-05-13T21:19:00.000-05:00

Saturday 10:04 PM 5-13-06

I'm back from vegas :)

I had a great time. I missed Jimbo like crazy, but I had a great time as well.

I walked a TON. This is a great city for exercise!! I even have swollen feet with weird red what looks like rash on them. Jim says the walking was too much for my feet, so they got blood trapped under the skin. Who knows, it doesnt hurt anymore, and it doesn't itch. So we will wait and see if my feet fall off (just kidding)

Vegas is great. We went to the strip, I rode the rides (2 of them) at the stratosphere. That was a THRILLLLLL -- seeing the strip from the viewpoint of dangling over the stratosphere tower was GRAND!!! If you click on the name of this post, it will take you to the site with the videos of the rides :):)

Vegas seems to be very accessible. My dad had to rent a motorized scooter, as he broke his leg/ankle 2 weeks before the trip. (think, hoverround, or rascal) - There were not that many places that he could not get to. I was surprised. :) I hope that he never needs to BUY one of those things or use it daily, but I was glad to know he could still get around.

We didn't make it to the grand canyon. The glass walkout they are building is still under construction. My dad was really looking forward to that, so I am glad that we called ahead and didn't just drive the 5 hrs and get him disappointed.

We listened to a resort timeshare presentation to get free tickets for American Superstars at Stratosphere, they had impersonators of Elvis, Michael Jackson, Tim McGraw,Britney Spears, and Christina Aguliera. It was a great show, and after that I got pictures of Vegas at night, and rode those thrill rides... great great great.

We saw the lions at MGM Grand, and the fountains at Bellagio, and Sigfried and Roy's White Tiger. We saw the shops and fountains at Caesar's Palace. We ate at the Rio (huge buffet) - we toured Circus Circus... (side note, the lady who guesses your weight at the carnival... guessed my dad's age, and lost... she guessed him as 44 and he is 54...... we may never hear the end of "how young he looks" LOL LOL )

We went one evening late to Freemont street (old las vegas, not the strip, downtown) we saw the overhead laser light show, and saw a street performer too. He was painted (yup painted) metalic silver, all over, and moved like a robot. I have a picture of me with him... I was busy buying a soda and wondering what everyone was looking at. I didn't think he was a person, just a robot. Very funny for me to find that he is indeed a man. Very cool.

In Vegas I saw my first of a couple of things. I saw my first prostitution transaction... (as in, girl is walking down street and back several times, then girl leans into guy's window, girl gets into his car, and drives away) very sad that one. I guess I can not be 100% positive that was what was going on, but all signs point to YUP. I sat in my first bumper to bumper rush hour where you could have shut off your car for a bit, and not moved anywhere anyway... driving there takes more assertive driving skills than I have.. .for sure..

I took lots of pictures. I hope to add some to here or Flickr soon.

I did gamble a grand total of about 15 dollars, but I got 10 free drinks from being at the machine for so long, so in my mind, it evened out :) -- A gambler I am not. I guess it is a good thing though :) :)

Plenty of time was spent at the resort pool as well, so that was a good time. I even remembered to put on the sunscreen, and only got a slight sunburn on my lower arms. That is a great accomplishment for pasty white me :) :)

Ok, enough for now, more with pictures later :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Viva Las Vegas

2006-05-05T11:44:00.000-05:00

So,
I am leaving for Las Vegas on Sunday morning early, and coming back Friday morning.
I am going there on a strict budget. I have found tons of sites that list free things to see and do while there. I am not much of a gambler, so that is not a problem. I have bad luck anyway :)

I am going with my mom and dad and an aunt. I am going because my brother was going to go, and at the last minute couldn't make it.

I really think I will have a good time, as I am easy to amuse for the most part. I will really miss Jimbo though. I don't like to be away from him, but he has classes, and finals to study for, so... what do you do? The good news is my parents may be planning another vacation for October, and if they plan right, Jimbo will be able to make it because school has a break then ;) *crosses fingers*

I am so nervous.. flying, lots of people, lots of chances to get lost or separated from the people I am with, crowds... did I mention crowds? Eating in a strange environment... urgh... but, I have willed myself to have fun!!!

It is supposed to be 94 the whole time we are there (in the daylight anyway) - Jim says it won't seem that hot, "because it is a dry heat"... I hope that he is right, because I am not a huge fan of sweating etc. The resort has a couple of pools though, so hopefully we will make time to use them :)

We will also be taking a day trip to the Grand Canyon, and my dad wants to visit an old west, or ghost town, so that should be great. My mom and dad will be having their 15th wedding anniversary Wednesday while we are there, so that should be fun for them too.

Ahh.. my dad has a broken leg, so he has a velcro boot/cast thing. He is very worried that he wont be able to get around. I am going to call about a scooter now...
Wish me luck on my vacation :)

Angel Chasse (again)

PS....
Love you Jim!!!!

Jim has a blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-27T18:10:00.000-05:00

WOO HOO!!!

Jim has a blog. Visit it :)

I have been meaning to blog more often, but it seems like I have an idea and then I forget :)

I am going on a trip to vegas soon, with my parents. I wasn't orignally slated to go with them, but someone backed out, so I get to go in their place. It will be a feat of creative budgeting to be sure, but it should be fun as well ;) It may be just my style too, because my dad broke a bone in his leg/ankle, so he will be slower than his usual "let's walk 40000 miles in one day while on vacation" self :)

Grand Canyon and a lot of sight seeing, and signing up for books at every casino to get free stuff :) Sounds like fun to me :)

On to the next info on the trip. Jim is not going. He has finals to study for, and etc etc... so... I will miss him a TON. I don't do too well without him, so it makes me feel better that since his cell is verizon and mine too, we can chat for free ;)

I have been signing up to get free samples and stuff by mail lately, it's a fun way to kill some time on the internet :) - I can't say whether you will get spam if you sign up for these things, but if you'd like, here is the link I use most often :)

http://www.savingadvice.com/freebies.php

Enjoy, have a good week!!!!

Angel Chasse (again)

Grandma....I'm getting older...

2006-04-14T23:23:00.000-05:00

Friday, April 14th 2006 11:21PM

So this week was pretty eventful. Not the good kind really either.
Monday afternoon my grandma and aunt came here. My aunt had some testing scheduled for Tues morning. They visited, stayed the night with my mom and dad, and then I went with them to the heart part of the hospital from 6am to about 5pm. Great news, my aunt Pennie was great, or at least her heart was. They took the pictures, found no blockages,and did no repairs. She just needs to figure out now why her heart is enlarged, which caused this testing in the first place......

So tuesday evening they go home, and I get some sleep. Cut to wednesday evening...
My aunt Shirley calls. Grandma has had a heart attack, and is being flown in the helicopter here. Things look grave Shirley says. Mom and I go to wait for the helicopter and to see grandma. We get into the ER room they have her in. They tell us that they were able to give her a medicine to break up the blockage, and it seems to be working, so they will wait til morning, and get her into the cath lab, to see if there are any other blockages, or if there is any damage... about 20 mins after we get to see her, she starts having this episode of bad heart rythyms, and says her arm and chest hurt again. The cardiologist comes in and says they will take her to the cath lab right now, we are shown to a waiting room, and told they will most likely find a blockage and clear it. An hour and 20 mins later, the dr comes out, says they put a stent in, and that she had a temporary pacemaker for now. Her heart rate had went down to 20 beats per minute, and she had a heart attack basically while they were working on her.... cut to today.. she is fine (as fine as she's going to be) and went home this evening....

So. I am glad that my grandma is feeling better. I hate that I am getting older now, and so things like this are going to happen more and more frequently. And, that my grandma doesn't take care of herself like she should, and there is nothing I can do about it. Even guilting her into feeling sorry for ME if I were to lose her won't work. It is clear that she wants to go be with my grandpa, but man... it gets a person to thinking. I don't want to lose my grandma, but I don't deny that it will happen. I don't want to lose ANYONE in my life, but I have to admit that I will. Ick.. I don't like the thought of it at all. Mortality.....We lost my grandpa in May of 2003.. as hard as that was on me, I can't imagine how it was for my mom. That was her DAD. Seems weird... and sad.. and at the same time..natural... circle of life, way of the world, however you want to think of it...

I guess I can at least take comfort in the fact that Jim and I are really heading in a more healthy direction. We are not oblivious anymore to what we eat, and how it will affect us.

But, folks, getting older doesn't seem to be all that it might be cracked up to be. Sure, I am old enough to vote now, and drink, and old enough to do most anything I want, but geesh... some baggage comes with this getting older junk. I would rather not have this kind of baggage!!!!!!!!!

In good news though, it appears that this apartment will not be nearly as warm as the one we lived in last summer. I am pretty excited about that :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Friends....

2006-04-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

Sunday, April 9th 2006 949pm

Friends.....can't live with them, can't.........

Ok, I have come to the conclusion that I am a horrible friend. And I am horrible at the whole process of being someone's friend. I have some online friends, and for the most part, I don't do too bad with the back and forth of friendship there.

Maybe the fact that I don't like to go out and about much anymore, and am always nervous, and hate being around new people, has a lot to do with my not being a good friend, but I am not really sure if it is just that.

I *want* people to like me, I really do. I *want* to have friends. But, I feel all icky, like I am going to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, or embarrass them, or me... so then I stop going out and doing things with them, and I stop returning their calls, or picking up when they do call. I start obsessing over how lame I am, and how I should just go and see them, and do stuff with them etc...

I did this with 2 of my best friends.. well, more than that but these two in particular. Shannon and Shelly. I was close with them, they seemed to get me, and I seemed to get them. Then it started. Shannon moved away, then came back to the town I lived in. She called, and asked me to come over and just hang out etc... I did it like... 2 times.. total. In about a year... the rest of the time I wouldn't pick up the phone, and I was freaking out.. what would I say, what would I do, etc.... urgh.. so now she lives across the country, and I don't see her at all. :( big mistake there, she is a great person!!
Shelly, same thing. I had all the time in the world to hang out with her and become even better friends, but instead I stayed home, and made excuses for why I shouldn't go hang out. *I really am lame sometimes... truly*

I just think it is INSANE to not spend time with people that you like. I also think it is lame that being my friend should be WORK for the other person. Just ask my husband. Being my husband is about the most work one person can do... geesh...
I am not sure why I am posting this, I guess just to vent, and to get it out there... if anyone is reading this, don't alienate your friends... be a good friend. It's good for you I think.... I just need to take my own advice. But, that will come with time I suppose... we'll see

What else is new? Oh, it's been pretty warm out, and I hate that, cuz it signals that SUMMER is on it's way.... ICK..sweating is NOT cool ;)

I am now also addicted to "Family Guy" -- the little baby Stewie on that show is FUNNNNNY.... but anyway... it's late, and I should quit babbling now.... Take care everyone :)

Angel Chasse (again)

List of sites I visit...

2006-03-30T13:13:00.000-06:00

Thursday March 30th 2006 1:23 PM

I wasn't sure what to blog about, but I knew I wanted to blog... so I am posting a list of sites that I visit regularly, and I am asking that anyone who reads this (all 1 of you) LOL -- Suggest more interesting places to spend my time on the net.. :)

www.keloland.com -- Sioux Falls, SD News Site
www.usbank.com -- My Bank
www.rosie.com -- Rosie's Blog.. *SHE* always has something to say..
www.noaa.gov -- Good weather site
www.gmail.com -- Email of Course
www.justlu.com -- Lu's Blog.. check it out
http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/ -- Dr Deb's Blog.. check this one out too!
www.crossroads-community.net -- My brother in law's church website..
www.tvguide.com/listings -- boring I know ;)
www.ebay.com -- Ebay of course
www.marthastewart.com -- Queen of all things household-ish
www.realsimple.com -- Great all around site for tips
http://www.greyswriters.com/ -- If you enjoy Grey's...read this blog :)

Other than those, and the websites I use to pay my bills online (cable co, phone co, electric co, etc..) I don't have much ;) I have usually a bbs chat open, msn messenger, yahoo messenger sometimes, and google talk (cuz it is the only one Jim and Tim will use) lol -- boring time on the net, I need to start doing some other stuf online ;)... I did log in through my library card access to take the 3 sections of the US Citizenship exam though (or a practice test of it) -- I was quite ashamed that I only answered 75% of the questions right. That would give me what? a C? SAD SAD SAD... I am waiting for Immigration to come and deport me now... LOL ..

Rainy spring day here.. and HUMID already :( - Not a pleasant sign of things to come.. and EVERYONE makes fun of me for liking fall and winter best... I hate being hot, and I hate the humidity... it is soooooo much easier to put clothes and blankets ON to get warmer.. but, in the summertime, its not like it is EASY to naturally cool yourself.. we have to have AIR CONDITIONING.. ick...
Ok, enough out of me for today ;)

Angel Chasse (again)

Most Life Changing Event.....

2006-03-22T17:48:00.000-06:00

Ok,
Psychology.....

So... I got an abnormal psychology book. Jim is taking the class, and knew I had an interest in the field, so he got me a book, and I have been following along, and taking practice tests etc. We are looking at how stress or life events causing stress can affect your physical health.

So there was this inventory put together. Life Stress Units or something like that. Anyway, it asks you to rank some "bad things" that could happen to you, in order of how devastating or life changing they would be. In many cases, many cultures, the #1 thing that could happen was death of a spouse. I was thinking to myself as we were reading...yah, that sounds about right to me....

Jim stopped reading, and we discussed... He doesn't think that would be the worst. He thinks that losing his own sight, or a limb, something that was debilitating in his own health or life would be the worst. I get where he is coming from. It would absolutely affect ya. Whereas your spouse dying might not affect some as much as it would me.

That got me thinking about how different the world is for each and every person in it. I mean, not just the physical, like tall, short, fat, skinny... I mean like, we all live in the same world, but we all see it so differently. I personally have a lot of views that are considered "liberal" I suppose, but everyone is so different.

Not sure exactly what I had to add to this discussion, just really thought about how how you view the world really affects how you live, and probably how long you live, and how well you live.. I know, elemetary dear watson.. but... sometimes when Jim and I are talking, and he expresses an opinion or a thought that is WAY different than I would see it, it dawns on me how different people can really be... and shocks me to know that I am married to someone so different than me, and for the most part, it works out just great...... weird eh? See why I don't blog EVERYTHING that I think about? LOL

In other news, I wish that I had learned to sew when I was younger.. now I don't really have the patience or coordination for it... but my cousin (who is 15) is making a quilt.. a really cool one.. wish I could do that, but alas, I would end up all flustered and mad, so I will just pay her to make me one :) LOL

I am also making a calendar in my outlook to remind me of people's bday, so I can be sure to send a special note, or Ecard... if you want to send me your bday info so I can include ya, my email is mciangel@gmail.com

That's all for today.... ;)

Angel Chasse (again)

Cheap Healthcare... (has a price)

2006-03-18T21:04:00.000-06:00

So, I have had some pain in my chest since about the 10th or so. Constantly there, sometimes gets the sharpness about it.. so.. I waited for it go away.. and it hasn't.. went to the community health place on Monday. SCARY PLACE!!!

The people there... scared me some of them. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that those people were probably sick, and grouchy, and needed help. But geesh, some of those folks were rude, mean, and just.. I don't know.. thoughtless maybe?

That got me, and my dear husband (tm) LOL j/k.... thinking. It got us thinking that it really sucks to not have health insurance. Now, I get disability... but that check is more than a household of 2 can make in this state and qualify for health insurance. So, basically, I was approved to stay home from work, until I get treatment that works and calms the voices, paranoia, panic, nightmares, etc etc... but... because I make over the dollar limit to qualify for health care with my state.. I don't have the means to get treated for these problems...

I know, I know, there are places, there are forms, there are this and that.. the fact that my husband is in college (so that he can make a wage that will support us both if need be in the future) that is a problem as well. We can't get on a subsidized housing list because he is able bodied, and should be working instead of going to school (according to them) -- so.. I get that there are rules, and life is hard, and all of those things.. but I am feeling like... ROCK --- Meet HARDPLACE

So, I pay my rent, utilities, phone, (internet, luxury item there), car insurance, food, necessities, old student loan of mine being garnished... and.. low and behold there is not 383 dollars left over for my to take out my own health insurance plan... WOW... I am not sure what to do. I find myself getting excedingly upset over this, and freaking out about it, but at the same time, I just get angry. If I hadn't let myself feel all of these things, and had just "powered on" and kept working and living the way I was before, we would be doing fine, and I wouldnt have these problems, because I would have a job, that paid the bills, and for health insurance.. URGH.... I think this is just a rant, but I guess I wanted to say that I am scared really to go to the community health place, cuz I am scared that I might catch something really bad there, or that one of those angry patients might just loose it and whip out their gun or something.. but I digress... Jim went with me both times, and I feel much safer with him there... all of this, and my first appt will cost me 52 bucks and the second one the same, and then the test at the heart speciality place will be TONS of money (payment plan for a lifetime) lol -- Ok.. Now I am just rambling on. All this to find out that my heart is really probably 100% fine, and that I should have just sucked it up and waited longer.

Going to the Dr always sucks, but this new stuff.. without insurance.. it sucks so bad a person could get a complex I think.....

A side note.... Lu, keep thinking, and believing that everything will be ok. That is really the best advice I can give ya. Hard and sucky advice it may be, but the best I can do... *hugs* Praying for ya, and sending you the best thoughts...

Angel Chasse (again)

Why? Why? Why?

2006-03-06T22:34:00.000-06:00

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why do some people cling to and need religion and to be a part of a church, and others do fine without it, or with worshiping in their own private way?

Why do really good things happen to people that don't work for them, and then nothing happens, or bad things happen to people who work hard and live right?

Why do some people insist on pushing their ideas/values/morals/beliefs/expectations on you when you do not do the same thing to them?

Why does the world produce significantly more food than is needed to feed all humans, but we have starving people even here in the US.. one of the world's richest coutries?

Why is religion so fanatical? I mean, people really take it to extremes...

Why can't I decide with 100% certainty what I believe in. I am 27 years old!!!!

Why is mental illness called an illness if it does not make you ill, and if many folks think you should "walk it off" or "just get over it" - why don't they just call it the "you're lazy, emotional, weak, and incorrigible?

Why should I have the right to tell another woman what is right for her circumstances, what is right for her body, and why should I tell her to keep a baby that she doesn't want?

Politically charged, biased, controversial, whatever you think it is.. some questions that I had...

And... why don't people who do good things, and who are good people with good hearts prosper... yet others do..... urgh

Enough for this evening, I'm sure...

Angel Chasse (again)
PS. I saw "Walk The Line" -- I liked it -- it is the only oscar nominated film I saw :) Way to go Reese Witherspoon, congrats on the Oscar!

Blog Blog Blog

2006-03-02T19:53:00.000-06:00

What is new with me?

We aren't having much of a winter. My Mom still managed to get bronchitis though. Glad she went to the Dr, and got some meds.

Jim is out on spring break.. woo hoo.. he's trying to decide whether he wants to stay with computer science (lotsamath) or go into psychology. We will see how that turns out....

How come I can't make spaghetti without ruining a shirt (or two) -- BUY AN APRON -- I should buy an apron!!!!! On the other hand, the spaghetti was very good. We like it SPICY SPICY!!

I try to be a calm rational person, it does NOT happen. It is so odd.. the thing we really want, is the thing we can't have sometimes... well, not odd so much as infuriating.

I am glad that Dr Deb is getting published big time, she is very smart if you ask me. She seems to know the things that are important to us :)

Has anyone tried Carmel Apple Microwavable popcorn? It looks good :)

Why am I me, why am I not the me I wish I would be? -- That is what I am going to think about this week.

Angel Chasse (again)

Grey's Anatomy.... And Me

2006-02-16T19:54:00.000-06:00

I am sure that anyone who reads this blog knows that I love television. We pay more money than we should to have cable, because I am home all the time, and I like me some tv :) lol -

My newest addiction is Grey's Anatomy - I think I watched the first show last season (the first season I guess) - and then watched sporadically after that. Then something happened on one of the episodes, and it intrigued me, so I want to see every episode :) Lucky for me, season one's dvd is out soon, if it isn't already out. I really like Ellen Pompeo (Meridith Grey on the show) and I like the character of George, and of Bailey. So anyway, I love this show, and just found out the name of the theme song, so I will have to be looking for that. I really liked the 2 part episode that they had for the end of the superbowl.. sure, some of the drama was trumped up a bit, but I think those 2 episodes went a long way toward deepening our understanding of the different characters :) Ok, enough about that :)

What else have I been up to? Some introspection, and some crankiness. I have a headache that has gone on for awhile now, but my non-hypochondriac husband thinks it is a tension headache, so we will go with that. I have also been trying to keep up with him in a college class that I have interest in (abnormal psych) - and have been reading along with him in the chapters (from home, not actually attending the classes) - and I took a practice test and didn't do too badly on it, though it was not my best work.

Jim did our taxes, then found that we had an error, so we need to do another form to correct this error.. urgh... but at least we caught it, so it won't mess up his financial aid for school.

I made some "homeade lo mein" tonight, and it was pretty good, but I can do better. It is weird.. there is not much that I won't try to make at home at least once, but I had bad experiences trying to make fried rice at home, so I pretty much gave up on anything chinese-y - - but since this was good, who knows, I might try more exotic stuff. Jim is the chef in this family, but I do like to have a few things that I make well. Our friend Becky said the other day that she misses having our spaghetti, so that made me feel really goood :) that is my signature dish ;) lol

Other than that I have just been getting by. I know that I need to get back on my meds, and see dr's again and all of that but A> there is not money for that, and B> I think I wanted to believe that I would be just fine without that stuff, and that it really was just all in my head, and I could make myself all better if I just tried. Well... that would probably work... but.. and this is a big but... I dont really have the energy, motivation, patience, whatever to even try. I would really rather just stay in my little apartment and not go anywhere or have to deal with anyone, and not have to talk about the way that I feel, or the voices, or the racing thoughts, or the ickiness.. .but... even I can finally see now that THIS is not working either, so we have to move on to something more productive. I have some phone#s to call and ask for some help etc, but I just hoped it would not come to this, and I would just be able to make myself all fine again. I even thought that if I just didn't complain as much to the hubby, and didn't bring up how I was feeling, that he would think I was doing better... I guess I should have given him more credit, because evidently he saw right through that, and I was the only one believing anyone was fooled.. so -- I guess they call it mental "ILLNESS" for a reason, and I guess that even if you want it to, it won't just go away on its own.. although, that would be great, if you upstairs are listening, the "just goes away on it's own" thing sounds GREAT!!!!!!!!! So, that is an update on me, and what I have been up to. I still read a lot of blogs, and often have to tell my hubby what I am reading about, especially the stories on Lu's blog page at www.justlu.com --- she can tell a story like no one can :) I really hope this isn't as long when I hit save as I think it might be... but oh well.. I'll try to update more frequently :)

Angel Chasse (again)

The Superbowl

2006-02-04T14:30:00.000-06:00

Feb 4th 2006 Saturday

This just in.. I might be the only person on the planet not watching the Super Bowl tomorrow...why? I hate football. I don't see the point of the sport, but then again, there are a ton of things I could spend all day doing that many folks would probably think were INSANE - like using the internet all day ;)
I do have some chips though, and a spiffy new www.fitday.com account where I am keeping track of what I eat daily.. get this.. it boggles my mind. My Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) as it is figured with this long formula - is 2407 calories per day... that is supposed to be what my body uses every day just breathing etc... I don't see any way that this could be possible.. If that is the case.. then if I am only eating 100-1200 calories a day, I should most assuredly be losing some weight right? WRONG O -- not lost anything.. Well, should admit that I don't have a scale, but I do not feel like I have lost even one little iota... my husband on the other hand (who eats even less calories than I do, cuz he never cheats) - has had to put 5 notches to make his belt snug... urgh.. I am very happy for him, and very mad at me.. anywho, I am sure that insulin resistance and non working thyroid probably has something to do with my not losing weight, but... geesh.. anyway... so medication is a good thing in this instance for sure.. glucophage and synthroid are our friends :) right? LOL -- what else is new? Hrm.. we walked a mile in the skywalks today.. (again Jimbo had to drag me there) lol - not a lot else going on cept I am studying Jim's abnormal psychology book with him, to see if I would like/could do a college course in the future... so we will see how that goes.
That's all for now I guess

PS - My adsense is not working - all I get is the one ad for gulf hurricane relief. That is a a great ad, but I thought they were supposed to change? We'll see...
Angel Chasse (again)

What is Art?

2006-01-24T18:53:00.000-06:00

Tuesday Jan 24th 2006

Jim is taking art apreciation this semester.
I hate art.. I shouldn't really say I hate art. I hate things I am not good at, and things I don't understand :) LOL --
I am not "artsy" I must have a more analytical mind than I thought. I don't really "get" what stuff is sometimes in art. I guess that is probably normal, but I really would rather see a photograph of a person or a landscape or a lighthouse, than an inventive art project anyday.. We went to the local art center, and of the 100+ pieces they had there, I probably would have only chosen like 6 of them to own, or have in my home. The funny thing is that many of the ones that I did like, look more like patterns from Windows desktop backgrounds :) :) :)

Let's see, I havent blogged in a while, what is new?
Jim (mostly) and I are on a "diet" of sorts... Mostly just exercising portion control, and trying to drink diet soda or drinks, and keep to between 1000 and 1500 calories per day. It is not as hard and sucky as I thought it would be, the only thing that I really miss is that I don't have cake or cookies, or sweets around all the time.. not that I need them, but that seems to be what I crave.. and of course, anything carbs :)
I would recommend portion-controlled eating to anyone .... who is not doing it already... it is amazing to me when you follow the labels on stuff, and eat just one portion's worth, how much you really can eat in a day and still maintain low calories. It is just that before, Jim and I would make a ton of food, and eat it all.. Now we try to make the equivalent of one portion per person of each thing... the portions ARE a lot smaller, but most times, we feel full, and aren't feeling too deprived.. Now I just need to incorporate a WHOLE LOT of exersise into the routine... I hate that... :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Married Life AKA I love Jim

2006-01-09T20:15:00.000-06:00

Jim and I have been married for 8 years. We have known each other for 9 years.

When we first met, I made a ton of mistakes. The worst of those mistakes was running to my mom every time we had a normal, average, married people do this kind of fight. The reason I say that this was the worst mistake is... it gave my mom and dad the wrong idea about Jim. Jim is caring, loving, sweet, respectful, treats me better than I deserve, and better than I treat him. But see, for the first couple of years of our marriage, they didn't know this. They didn't know Jim very well, and when they did hear about him, it was through me, and many times after we had had a fight, and I was steamed. I just want to tell everyone that that was wrong. Choosing to marry Jim is the one, single, best decision I have ever made. Probably the best one that I will ever make. Jim and I have had our share of fights, and disagree on many things. But he loves me, and I love him. The kind of love that makes you feel badly about ignoring him, while you are ignoring him... the kind of love that has you wanting to bring him a pillow and blanket when you make him sleep on the couch.... I don't know.. if anyone is reading this, they must think I am insane. I just love Jim. I get worried, I don't understand why this man would choose to spend his life with me. I know me, honestly I do, and I really don't treat him as well as I should... I am working on it, but I just really feel lucky, and blessed, and lucky.... that he chooses to stay with me. He makes me so happy!!!!!! (I am not a happy person by nature..so it might not show as much as it should) -- So, I guess this was just an open letter to let everyone know that I love Jim, and that I am sorry that I didn't shout it from the rafters all this time.... I love him I love him I love him :)
I guess sometimes we have this theory in our head of how our relationship is going to be perfect, and everything is going to go well, and there will never be fights, just love, and sex and laughter..and we freak out when it does not really happen that way.. but what I have.. right now, today, with Jim... is the best, most perfect thing I have ever felt... EVER!

I love you Jim...
Happy Anniversary Jan 6 2006
#8

Angel Chasse (again)

GoodBye 2005 -- Hello 2006!!!

2005-12-31T11:53:00.001-06:00

In 2005:
*these are just the highlights, I am sure that there is a ton that I have forgotten*

I started this blog (thanks to Rosie)

Jim and I had our 7th wedding anniversary on Jan 6th

We moved to Sioux City - Memorial Day weekend

My first (ever) niece was born July 20th

I turned 27 - Jim turned 32

I went to Louisiana to work in a Red Cross shelter - and came home with salmonella (ick)

Got a car from a friend who upgraded his.. that was pretty cool, and needed :)

We just moved to a different more modern apartment across the lawn

I know I don't update this thing daily, but I love blogging, and I love to read other people's blogs as well. Not a lot of other things happened - unless I am forgetting a bunch.. and if that is the case I will update :)

Plans for NYE --- Eat a frozen pizza -- watch the ball drop -- wait to hear from my brother tomorrow to see if he gets into any trouble tonight ;)

Angel Chasse *again*

Moving...Busy..I hate moving!

2005-12-20T09:50:00.000-06:00

12/20/05

We are moving *literally, I have almost nothing in this old apartment* to a different apartment that is in the house next door to this one. It has been gutted and redone, new walls, new floors, new paint, new bathtub and sink, the whole thing. It doesn't have a lot in the way of storage, but that is really it's only downfall.. Oh, and the computer will be in the living room, so that will be a little different but I will adjust :)

So anyway, I hate moving.. and so far all I have done is pack and unpack and clean... The boys (Sam and Jim) have been carting everything over. Its down the stairs here, across the lawn, and then up the new stairs.. not much fun... can you tell that I hate moving?

So, the internet and tv and all that is supposed to start up again tomorrow, so I will be back on track, but I think that by Friday, we should have most everything unpacked. A lot of stuff is going into a big makeshift closet or the garage, so there will be some that I don't even have to unpack :) LOL --- ok enough blathering on about this topic :)

Happy Holidays to all!!!!!!!

Angel Chasse (again)

Snow Snow Snow

2005-11-30T14:49:00.000-06:00

I have to say, I am a fan of winter, so I am happy that it is snowing.. but it's weird... I like the snow, I like to look at it, and I like to see it, but I don't like to drive in it. How does that work? LOL - Good thing Jim doesn't really mind it much.
The car that our friend Tim gave us is working great. I really think he should me moved to Saint for giving us that car :) He said it never started in the winter, and that remains to be seen, but so far, you just have to crank it over and give it a bit of gas *its fuel injected, so he probably didnt do that when he had it, you shouldn't have to* anyway, its been working out VERY well. Finally got rid of the van, and someone even gave us a couple dollars AND towed that baby away ;) woo hoo..

Making a big pot of chili tonight. We make it simply, and with beans :) But it will be just the right thing for the chilly night (punny) -- I see that Rosie's blog says that her Christmas store will be up and runnning soon. Maybe I can con Jim into buying me something from there :) - I remember a while ago she said that she had mousepads and shirts that said Go Blog Urself :) FUNNY..

I have been noticing that I use ... (elipses) a lot. But I only usually type two of the dots, and it is supposed to be three. I also noticed that I am losing some of my knowledge from HS and stuff. I know if you don't use it you lose it, but it has been shocking to me just how much I don't use it, and how much I am losing.. urgh.

I also read on the web ( I think, or maybe Jim told me) that people have their blogs published as books ;) LOL @ that. I don't think I will ever be doing that, but I know that Lu's blog would make a good book :)
I have been wondering though if there was an easier, one step way to print all the posts of your blog.. so far I dont think so. I guess you'd have to just go into each entry and print them. I would probably like to have a copy of mine, just to keep in a binder, and look back and read to see how I was, and how I am now.. LOL - that sounds funny.. reading back to see how you were :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Must Blog More Often, Must Blog More Often

2005-11-27T19:06:00.000-06:00

11/27/05 Sunday

Let's see :)
Had a happy thanksgiving. I hope that everyone I know did too.

Got to hold my 3 month old niece, and that makes me happy :)

Plus, got to see the relatives from my mom's side of the family, love that. We don't make it the two hours to visit them very often, so it is always nice when they come here :)

Went to wal-mart at like noon on Friday. Got in there, saw what a zoo it was , and we high tailed it back home.

I have a pain in my lower back, on the right side, and according to the dr its just a sore muscle. All my other tests were fine. I am glad it is nothing, but I wish this NOTHING would STOP hurting now. I know I have a low tolerance for pain, but geeeesh!!

Made up some Christmas cards :) - Realized doing that that I don't know very many addresses. There are a few people I will have to email for their address. No wonder I usually send Ecards... no work there, I have everyone's email ;) -- I guess I didn't mean it like it sounded. I love to personalize ecards, I just love that you dont need stamps, and don't need to know the physical address and write on the envelopes.. my handwriting is so horrible .... urgh

Simple as ever punch we made for thanksgiving. Just a half gallon of orange sherbet, and a 2 liter bottle of sprite. Very very tasty, and soooooo not hard ;)

I think I will make Rachael Ray's 5 minute fudge for Christmas!!!!
*I am so happy to see Rachael Ray on all these shows teaching people how to cook her way... I know there are some RR haters out there, but I am not one of them!!!!

Looks like they are saying that we are going to have some rain then frizzle, then snow. Last time we got all rian, and only enough snow to turn things white. So, we will see this time..
So this will be snow # 2 for this season :)

Ok, that is about enough rambling for now....

OH PS... Poll for any readers.

If you found a $20.00 bill on the ground, in a parking lot, would you pick it up and keep it, or do something else? Be honest ;)
PSS... we found 20 dollars on the ground in a parking lot, and we kept it... just so you know :)

Angel Chasse (again)

How does this happen???

2005-11-19T22:30:00.000-06:00

11-19-05 Saturday

How does it happen that you ASPIRE to lyrics like this.. that you have not made it to this point yet, but you hope that you can GET to this point soon.... sad sad sad... we will only see in hidsight how this all works out, but for now, it seems sad to me that you can aspire to what these lyrics say, and not even be there yet.. but there I am ... here I am.. however that works.....

I'm Movin On - Performed by Rascal Flatts

Ive dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
Ive found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once Im at peace with myself
Ive been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
Im movin’ on
Ive lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but theyre always the same
They mean no harm but its time that I face it
Theyll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I dont belong
Im movin on
Im movin on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there’s no guarentees, but Im not alone
There comes a time in everyones life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldnt
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
Ive loved like I should but lived like I shouldnt
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
Im movin on
Im movin on
Im movin on

Angel Chasse (again)

First Snow

2005-11-16T15:02:00.000-06:00

11/16/2005 Tuesday

Hey,
It snowed yesterday, all day. Flurries, and not much of it is actually on the ground, cuz the ground was warm, so it melted and now is a bit slick outside (so I have heard, I have not been out today) It's COLD outside though. When we got up this morning it was 50 degrees in our apartment.. We live in an apartment within a house, an old house, and the heater is the same heater for the whole house. One major room of our apt is storage, and kitty box, and computer and desk... well.. it's a 3 season porch... soooooo... we are supposed to not use it in the winter.. but if we don't, major space loss, and major having to put the kitty box in the bedroom *where we sleep ick* or in the kitchen *ick* or in the living room *ICK ICK* so anyway, I think that the plastic Sam and Jim put up will help some, but we still have to run a space heater in our "heat paid by landlord" apartment.. URGH - just when our electric bill was under control, no more A/C 24 hours a day... urgh... anyway, I am thankful we have a place to live, and that it is as warm as it is. I know many have less. I am also thankful for my husband, and my mom and dad and brother, and my friends... I don't have many of them (friends) but the ones that I do have are really great, and they mean a lot to me... and if anyone who happens to read this has any spare good vibes.. Jimbo could use them - he's finishing up his research paper and the professor made him narrow it down so much that he is less than thrilled... anyway.... First snow, first snow :):)

Angel Chasse (again)

Happy Veteran's Day

2005-11-11T15:24:00.000-06:00

11/11/2005

To those who have served, and even to those that will serve in the future.
I owe you a huge debt. You keep me safe, you keep me comfortable in my little apartment in middle America. You lift the burden off of all of our shoulders.
I respect all who have served more than you can imagine. You go and do what I can't, what I won't, and what I don't want to do.... Thank you doesn't begin to say it... But, Thank you...

Now, there is a Garth Brooks boxed set coming out soon, at www.walmart.com and one of the songs that will be on the "lost sessions" CD is this one......

Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream
Words and music by Ed McCurdy

Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room
Filled with women and men
And the paper they were signing said
They'd never fight again
And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful prayers were prayed
And the people in the streets below
Were dancing 'round and 'round
While swords and guns and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground
Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd never dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war.

I love the soldiers, and hate this war... Call me a contradiction

Angel Chasse (again)

Blog Blog Blog

2005-11-10T14:53:00.000-06:00

I think I have had this blog since April... strange that I would keep it going for this long, most of my paper journals have 1 or 2 pages in them, and then nothing... I am not sure that it is helping though, I am still the same old same old confused, lazy, grouchy me... I don't want to stop really though, cuz I feel like I still want to say some stuff. I just don't know what.
Oh, I do have one thing that bothers me... and though this is not INTENDED to offend, I am sure there are a few people that read this that will feel that way..

Why is it that people who belong to a certain religion feel the need to aproach people? I mean.. logically, I understand it... they are supposed to witness their faith to others. But man, it is SOOOOOOO annoying. For others, maybe not so much, but me? I really don't want to meet any new people for ANY reason, much less for them to be overbearing and bitchy, and not lay off, and try to get me to join their way of thinking about things... urgh, that really sucks to me.

Let's see, what else have I been doing? NOTHING :)
Nah, Jim is about to start actually writing his research paper, so he has been studying, as well as helping our landlord with handyman stuff. I joined a book club to get some books for people for Christmas, and I am looking for a poster print from "The Color of Money" for my dad to put on his wall in the basement, by where his pool table will be. Got Mom some books and some lotion, got my niece some Baby Einstein DVD's - Gift card for my brother and my sister probably.. they are hard to buy for, and I hate it when people hate their gifts. Got Jim a couple of books, and got me 2 Rachael Ray cookbooks, including the new one :) WOO HOO

I have gotten to see my brother a lot more often, because he comes over every night for supper for the last 2 weeks. How much is too much? That is yet to be seen I guess :) -- He has court on the 15th, and might have to go to jail for 45 days, cuz of some unpaid fines.. 100% his fault, but still sucky if he has to be gone, especially over the holidays. I just hope that if he does have to go, that it is here in town, so at least I could visit if I want. So, seeing him a lot, and being annoyed by him, but happy to see him .. I wonder if he just comes over for the food?? LOL LOL

Been reading Rosie's Blog.. entertaining, and political, and fun.
Been reading Lu's Blog, funny, well written, introspective, love it!
Been reading Cindy's Blog, there is something going on there.. but I don't know what

Ok, rambling...

Angel Chasse (again)

Happy Birthday Jimbo!!!!

2005-11-04T09:46:00.000-06:00

11/4/05 Friday

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

Happy Birthday Jim!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is Jim's birthday!

I love you, Happy Birthday..

I hope that this coming year is more prosperous and happy than all of the ones that came before it combined!! You deserve it! I love YOU!!!!

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you
------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Sarah...

2005-10-22T18:05:00.000-05:00

10/22/05 Saturday

The people that I used to see all the time when I was in the hospital a time ago, always said that if something is really bothering you, and you can't put it out of your mind, and you don't think that you can say anything to those people, that you should write them a letter, and tell them what you wish you could say to them.. Hopefully, they are right, and I will feel better after writing this... here goes...

To Sarah,
I know that you and I were not born sisters, and I understand that our lives and the things we do in our lives are very different. I know that you have the choice to hang out with me, and to have me as part of your life, and you have the choice not to. I realize I am not the most stable person in the world, and I can imagine that some of the things that you know about me make you not want to be near me.

I also understand that when I needed my friends and family, back in 2000, and I told you and the rest of the people in my life how I felt like I had never measured up to their expectations, and I never really felt that anyone spent time with me because they wanted to, only because they felt obligated to, you told me that you didn't see it that way, and you wouldn't ever do that. We became (I thought) a lot closer, and had many long talks, and many coffees, and many bitch sessions with one another. Like sisters did, I thought. You came to my aid, and even took me to visit our parents when you knew it would help me feel happy. You never asked me for money to go, and never let me feel guilty that you took care of me on those trips, my self, and my soul. We talked and talked, and got closer and closer (I thought). I tried my best to listen to you, and give you any advice I had to give, good or bad I don't know. I really started to feel like you wanted me around, and to be a part of your life. It felt good. Really good. Jim always commented on how I was so talkative and in good spirits when I got home after a trip that we had taken. I really loved spending that time, just you and I.

When you told the family that you were pregnant, at Thanksgiving last year, I was SO happy for you, so happy for Larry and You. I was ecstatic. I knew you were scared, but I knew that you would give this baby 110% of your love. There would be tough times, but you would do great, and when you had questions, I assumed that your mom would be there with bells on, ready to help you take on this new role as an expert. I was scared for you too, because I knew that you were scared, and that couldn't feel good. But in the end, I knew that you were capable, and you would get things done. We even joked one time that your only job, was to "make sure you don't kill the kid" - Joking of course..

I was so excited to be going with Mom and Steve to Sioux Falls when you were in labor. I never thought I would actually be in the room with you all that time, and get to witness the birth of Peyton. It was life changing for me. You dealt with the pain, and the sickness, and all the people and the pressure so well. My hero at that moment :)

I knew that you would be overwhelmed, and overworked, and sleep deprived when Peyton was born. I knew that I would not be a priority with you, and I never expected to be one. I knew that your attentions needed to be on yourself, and Larry and Peyton. You are a family, and you need to take care of them #1. I didn't expect though, that Jim and I moving here to Sioux City in May would have such an impact on you. I knew that you said you wanted me to babysit, but really, I didn't figure that you would have us babysit that often. You have your mom, and some of Larry's family that you trusted, and I figured that you would only use us as a "last resort" babysitter. I didn't figure that our little apartment there would be a place you would want Peyton to sepnd that much time at. I guess I am starting to think that I was wrong on those things. I want to believe that you are just too busy to return my calls. I want to believe that you want to talk to me, but you just don't have the time. I want to believe that when I called you and let you know we were in town, and would love to have seen you, that you were out of town, or didnt get my messages, or something. I really want to believe these things because it really hurts to think that right now you are upset at me for moving, and not being there for you and peyton, and that your punishment for those things that I have done is to just completely stop talking to me, unless I am with Mom or Steve, or I suppose at holidays when you happen to be at their house. I want to think that you love me like a sister, and that you understand that our moving here was for the good of our family, Me and Jim, and it was something that we needed to do. I want to believe that you know that I wouldn't choose to abandon on a whim, and that I would help you any way that I could, even from 85 miles away. I want to think that you will start calling just to talk once you have more time. I want to think that you are not upset and punishing me for not being there for you.. I guess time will tell how this story plays out..
Either:

A> I am paranoid, and things with us were always fine.. no big deal, just me freaking
B> You are mad, and you will continue to be, for who knows how long, and I will miss this time with you, and this time of Peyton growing up, except of course when you are here to visit your dad, and want to keep peace, so you will be nice to me

Either way, I guess I just wanted you to know that I love you, and that I miss you, and that if I have upset you, it was not intentional. I love Peyton too, and I really hope to be a part of her life and of yours.

Love,
Angel

Nightly News.. Katrina

2005-10-18T17:55:00.000-05:00

Wow!
I was just watching the nightly news, and there was a lady (Ms. Marcus) on who was starting demolition of her flooded home. Very sad, very sad.. Then my jaw dropped because of what she had to say next..

“Had someone stayed there and manned the pumps,” says Marcus, “you would not be looking at my house like this, and that's what hurts.”

Here is what I do not understand. I am very saddened that this woman and her family lost their home to the flood. It is tragic, and I can not even START to say that I know how she feels, and I can not tell her how she should feel.

BUT....

Basically, if I am understanding this correctly... she believes that the HUMAN BEINGS that were in charge of the pumping stations should have stayed at their posts and died so that her home would not have been flooded out? -- Now, I really do understand that she may be angry, and frustrated, and just needing someone to blame for this.. a name or face to blame this on..

HOWEVER...
Does a tragedy like Katrina give people the right to say that people should have been expected to possibly DIE protecting their property for them??

I will post the link to this article (I watched it on tv, but this is word for word the same) -- And, anyone reading this... if you think I am misunderstanding this, be sure to correct me, but, oh man, I can not seem to see it any other way than to see that people brought a class action lawsuit against their parish for allowing pump operators to evacuate the night before the storm hit......

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9743893/

SAD....

Angel Chasse (again)

A little hope in South Dakota

2005-10-10T20:31:00.000-05:00

I used to live in Sioux Falls SD, and still read their local news website daily at
www.keloland.com

Tonight when I pulled it up, I found this article. I know that I get a lot of "feel good" messages in email, and sometimes I look them up on sites like www.snopes.com and they are not true at all, or only parts of them are true.

With the below story, I am fairly certain it is true, as it is from KELO TV, and not from the 122,222,444,444 th person to forward it to me on the web..

A little light in a sometimes too dark world for me...

Here is the link to the article: ( I found out it is breaking copyright laws to post it in it's entirety at my blog ;) I want to post it here so I can remember it for a while to come :

http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail5440.cfm?ID=0,43121

Enjoy.. more from me later :)

Angel Chasse (again)

It's Been Awhile...

2005-10-07T11:09:00.000-05:00

So,
I was just looking back and it has been a long while since I blogged.
I am still here, and still kickin :)
Not a lot going on. Jim has his classes, and we have wacky (read: ANNOYING) upstairs neighbors now. Hopefully they won't be there much longer, but when it starts to wake me up at night (the noise that they make) - then I get mad.
I entered to contests. One was on Rosie's Blog, to win tickets to see her in Fiddler On The Roof on Broadway, and the other one was to see Emeril at a taping of his show.. LOL - that makes me think I am celebrity obsessed. Really, I don't feel like I am, but I do love Rosie, and Emeril, and Rachael Ray.. among others. They seem to me to be "real" - they are famous, and known, but they still remain as normal as you can be with that kind of fame.
I got a cd from the HAM radio operator that spent a week with us in Pearl River, and it had some good pictures on it. I will have to post them to my Flickr account, so that other people can see them.
Is it bad that now when I see those "heartwarming" emails that everyone sends as chain mail... When I see those now, I immediately want to go to www.snopes.com or another such site and find out if the stories are for real, and of course about 99% of them that I have looked up are not real at all. URGH.. no need to make up heartwarming stories and send them on. Tell a REAL story of something that you did, or saw happen, and pass that along.. and for HEAVEN'S SAKES, don't put "your luck will change at 11:11 pm when your phone rings with good news, but only if you foward this on to about 100000000 people that already have enough spam" -URGH

Anyway. I also have a 6week picture of my niece Peyton, and I will scan that this weekend and post it on flickr as well.
I just noticed that I have not even been reading people's blogs daily like I was. Jim is at home more, and when he is home, I don't always want to spend much time on the net. So, I am sure as the colder weather sets in, I will be back to my net loving self, but for right now, hanging out with Jimbo and going places and doing stuff is fun :)

OH and a huge PS..
Once a klutz, always a klutz.. I am TWENTY-SEVEN years old, and I FELL DOWN the other day. We have some cement stairs that lead from our house, like 3 stairs, then a small landing, then 3 more.. well, I turned around to admire the neigbor's baby, and just stepped off the stair, and plop fell right on the concrete. My leg is sore, but other than that just my pride was hurt :)
So anway.. I never thought I would fall down at the age of 27. I feel so dumb. I thought that I did a much better job of paying attention, but I guess on that day, the baby got the best of me :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Algebra Algebra

2005-09-26T10:27:00.000-05:00

I don't have a lot to say, but I did want to gloat a bit for myself. I did algebra problems along with Jim last night, and got a lot of them right. Now, its elementary algebra, but for me, I am pretty impressed, cuz the last time I did algebra was probably in 1996. I am not a fan of math, simply because it does not come naturally to me, and I have to be taught every single little part of a problem to be able to work it. Not a self motivator on math.. nope.. but anyway, heres is a sample of a problem that we did yesterday..

.7(3x+6)=1.1-(x+2)

Fun stuff.. and Jim writes small, and still had to hand in 5 pages to do probs 1-91 odd showing all work :) He is not a big fan of showing his work :)

In other news, Jim is discovering that he doesn't like math, and to finish a bach of science in computer science you need a TON of math.. so.. he might rethink the bach of arts route instead. It seems that he thinks somehow that changing his path now is a failure on his part... I am trying to get him to see that it isn't.... TONS of people declare a major and change it once, sometimes even more times than that, before they get their final degree. I think that he wants to teach computers, and I think that he will be great at that, but he also might have wanted to work at NASA, and I think you need the bach of science to be considered there. We will see how it all turns out, but I really have to say, I am so proud of my husband, he is wise, and smart, and he WILL finish college, even if some days it seems like he might not finish a class.. It's just that overwhelming feeling of learning so many new things all at the same time.... He IS smart, and he CAN do this... He just needs to know that for sure :):) like I do :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Political Test I Took

2005-09-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

I am not advocating this test, I just did it for fun, and this is how mine came out. You are a
Social Liberal (60% permissive)and an...
Economic Liberal (38% permissive)You are best described as a:
CentristThis was at http://www.okcupid.com/politics - See, I have nothing better to do right now :) At least I am not as unlucky as Jim... he is doing algebra homework :(

Rita...and Misc.

2005-09-22T14:43:00.000-05:00

Man, I can't seem to wrap my head around this 2nd cat 5 hurricane headed towards (they think) Galveston TX. Holy cow! Seems like to me, that sometimes, enough is ENOUGH.. but, hopefully with the devastation of Katrina, there were lessons learned, and things will be swifter this time, and people that need to get out of harm's way will do so. How does that saying go.. "those that do not learn from history are destined to repeat it" - I hope that is not the case here. Jimbo has finished his proposal for his research paper. Now to get that idea approved, and get to the researching and writing part :) - He is planning on writing about the importance of continued missions to Mars, to delve into the future, as well as the past. -- well, he writes it much more elegantly than that, but that is the jist of it :)
On a side note, this stomach-ache can go AWAY now, and stay far far away.
Another side note, www.give.org shows a listing of many charities, and where there dollars go. A few people I have run into said that the American Red Cross loses a lot of the dollars that you and I donate, to administrative costs. It looks to be about 5.4% from this site's info.. just wanted to share that, thought I am not saying I am an expert on it.
PS
I am addicted to TV (not a new thing) but now we have a DVR - so we can tape shows and fast forward through commercials, and etc... so I have quite the list of things recording..
ER
House
Two and a half men
King of Queens
Anything Rachael Ray and lots of food network.. shocker there :)
How its made on the Science channel
7th Heaven
The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
Desparate Housewives
Sex and the city on WGN Channel (where did the extra 8 minutes of show go??)

I am sure there are more, but that is all I can think of for now :) That's bad :)

Angel Chasse (again)
www.jimandangel.com

What I did in Louisiana

2005-09-15T12:11:00.000-05:00

The day to day of what I did while working at my shelter…
I had intended to stay for 3 weeks, but I got salmonella poisoning, and came home early. When I am feeling a bit better, I will volunteer with my local Red Cross chapter, and will certainly go back the coast if they need me there once I am 100% here is what a typical day was kind of like…

610 am wake up get ready

630 am head to home-ec room/kitchen and help prepare breakfast I usually just opened cans, or stirred stuff or washed dishes and cleaned… there were 2 ladies that were residents of the shelter that kind of took the lead on what to cook for breakfast… lots of pancakes, grits, eggs, biscuits stuff like that, and tons of little cans of fruit cocktail and assorted other stuff that needed to be opened up  - I was good at that..  In the home-ec room there were two huge center islands, and 4 stoves, a little bigger than a usual home stove but not industrial by any means we used the tools and pans and containers that the school had there for us so we would cook everything up, and then sit it on the center island and make an assembly line to scoop the food into the Styrofoam containers that we had.. (I am informed they are called clamshells – and some couldn’t remember that name and called them oyster shells)  - so we would let people start in line about 8am and be done serving by 9-915 – then I helped with cleanup and washed all tables and chairs down, put the chairs up on top of the tables and vacuumed… there were always things to do in the kitchen… take out the 10 garbage cans, or fill the big tub with more ice and bottled water… or mop, or wipe stuff down, there were a ton of things to do in the kitchen…

930 we had a brief staff meeting. I was technically in charge of events and happenings, and news, and helping in kitchen and planning and doing activities with the little kids each night… Anyone who knows me, knows I loved that part (

So about 10 I would meet with Joe, the shelter manager, and we would go over any news that he wanted me to write out on papers and post at all major doors, or stuff that just needed to go on our updates bulletin board… by the time I got all those signs made up and dispersed, it was usually time go to the back of the school area and get bags of ice to restock the kitchen and front office, or various errands and then on to helping with lunch at 1130 – lunch and supper were hot meals cooked for us by the volunteers of the Southern Baptist Convention churches… They had volunteers much like the Red Cross does, and would cook all day… that food was put into big red containers, called Cambros, that kept hot food hot, and cold food cold, losing only one degree per hour if they were not opened… So the ERV (emergency response vehicle) would deliver us that food, and also supplies that they knew we needed and could get their hands on for us like cups and clamshells, and misc. snacks etc… after serving lunch, we again cleaned up so at about 2pm I usually went up to the front desk to see if they needed any help with room counts.. every day (or nearly every day, depending) we would knock on all the residents doors and ask who was all still there in that room, and make an accurate count, so we would know who had gone, and who all remained… it was a nice time to get to check on everyone and see how they were doing, and if they needed anything (that we could provide) they all needed things we couldn’t even begin to help with.
From about 4-530 I just ran errands and helped anyone who was doing something, there was always plenty to do, and I tried to plan something to do with the kids that evening
Again, 530 prepare for dinner, 730 done with cleanup from that … 730to 9 was fun time for the kids, and we did coloring contests, and had story time, and watched a movie, always with a snack involved… Sometimes this part was hard, because I was the only staff assigned to entertain 20-25 kids, from way too young (like 2 and in diapers) to old, like 15… so sometimes the kids got a bit out of hand, but they knew the rules - you don’t listen, you get sent back to your room -  no snack  -- I had a few little stuffed animals that Joe the shelter manager had scrounged up too, so I could give those out as top prize for the night, who behaved best that night etc… after the kids got their snack and headed back to their rooms, I just cleaned up the area we used, and then headed for bed, usually by 930-10 and for my baby-wipe shower, and for my cell phone to call home and see how the family was…. We girls had our own classroom that we slept in, and usually we would swap stories of our day, and a few tears over things that had been said, or witnessed, or just over a long, rough day.

Our Staff at Pearl River High School Red Cross Shelter

Joe – Shelter Manager (In Charge) Went out into town to get supplies from Wal-Mart, oversaw all of us other Red Crossers and volunteers, and I would assume made any and all contact with the Red Cross headquarters

Bob- 1st time disaster volunteer, handled front desk and housing (assigning rooms etc) He was also the ice hauler, the overflowing sink/toilet fixer, the all around helpful guy if you needed anything done that took two people, he would always come to your rescue

Pam- Canadian Red Cross Volunteer, Experienced… Front desk, in charge of list of residents and checking in and out and various questions/concerns

Sandy – Canadian Red Cross Volunteer, Experienced - Headed the kitchen ordering and supplies, and oversaw menus etc…

Sharon – Nurse (RN) – experienced volunteer – took care of sick (as best we could) oversaw the special needs people in the shelter library, and coordinated when the doctors came to see residents – also helped us with whatever was needed when she was not busy

Angel – 1st time disaster volunteer  - did whatever was asked of me, helped with all 3 meals, in charge of signs that went up giving info on showers and news and FEMA and various other happenings… ran children’s programs at night

We had 3 other people with us, that were running the shelter with Joe before Bob, Pam, Sandy and I arrived. They were from Ohio I think, and they were Ralph, Fred, and Carl (Carl was the manager)
They have a term at the Red Cross LDV Local Disaster Volunteers …usually people residing in the shelter that agree and want to help with meals or cleaning or whatever they would like to do… we had some great ones!!! A couple of guys usually volunteered to take out all the garbage after mealtime, and some helped us serve meals if we were spread too thin, 2 ladies in particular helped cook breakfast every morning, it was great since they knew what the people of LA would want to eat, and they could tell us Yankees how to make it … they were wonderful!!!!

For a short time, we also had Victor. He is a HAM radio operator and drove from Texas (I think) to help us get communication with headquarters… sometimes he could get right through, and sometimes he had to relay messages through someone in Slidell, a neighboring town, and get them to Covington or Baton Rouge that way. He was a very nice guy, and even offered to let us hear the radio news, or TV news at ten when he got it to come in Only bad thing was we were all so tired, that we just opted to go to bed instead. He is a very smart guy, with a lot of contacts it seems   I don’t really think he got the respect he deserved in our staff meetings, but I think he was great. Our link to the outside world

I don’t think I am really ready to figure out what I want to say about how it was down there, as far as the residents we talked with and met and lived with, or the stories we heard, there is good and bad, and I don’t think I can get out what I want to say fully.
One thing was, even though we KNEW that the people were upset with the Red Cross being so slow in their efforts of help, not many of those residents ever had a bad thing to say to us. I know they talked on their own, but when we were serving dinner, or walking by, or offering them help in any way, they were for the most part all very, very thankful that we were there, and of the things we COULD do for them up to that point. It felt very weird hearing them say thank you, when they had things much worse than we did. They were still grateful.

I will write more about the people and how they were coping and that type of thing, but right now, I am still not feeling 100% and, I don’t know for sure what stories to share, so I will think a bit more on that and post it when I think I have a good plan

I'm back home early

2005-09-13T08:48:00.000-05:00

http://www.jimandangel.com/katrina/

Jim made a page for updates while I was down in Louisiana.
I am home early. I have a "bit of Salmonella poisoning".. so says the Dr that saw me in Louisiana. He sent me home with a "stomach virus" then got blood work back the next day and called me. I am really bummed that I had to leave the Red Cross early, but I am glad that with salmonella, it is only me that is sick, and I didn't/couldn't spread it to the residents of our shelter.
I am working on a word document that tells a little about what I did when I was down there, and what I thought of the experience.. overall it was WONDERFUL. I wish I wasn't sick now of course, and some things that happened down there were not the greatest, but I will tell you all about it after I have regained my wits and energy a bit.

Please, if you pray, or what ever you might do in lieu of that, the people down in Louisiana and the Gulf Coast could use it. Many of them were poor to begin with, and now they have the clothes on their back....

Take care :)

More later

Angel Chasse (again)

Angel and Katrina

2005-09-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

I am going with the Red Cross down to Houston tomorrow. From there they will assign me to a post. I am told we won't be going yet into New Orleans, but I am willing to help wherever I can. I called my local red cross chapter, and let them know that I knew they needed cash right now, but that is not something I have.. what I do have is time, and a willingness to help. So, they got me into a class, and I did paperwork, and tomorrow I leave for Houston by plane. From there I will go to the staging area for more training/paperwork, and then to what will be my post. I am committed to them for 3 weeks, but who knows, if they need me, and I can handle it, I would love to stay longer.. but time will tell how that goes... I am so nervous, and so happy to be able to help all at the same time.. I know I will see and experience things there that I have never seen or experienced before, but all in all, I think it will make me a better person than I know how to be now. So if any of you out there reading this do not have any cash to give, let me be the first to tell you that they need volunteers. You don't have to go to Katrina, like I am doing, but the local chapters are flooded with work for volunteers as well. So if you don't have cash, but you have time.. consider it?
Here's to hoping that the people of the gulf coast start to get what they need... and soon..

Angel Chasse (again)
Friday night, 10:49 Central. From Home in Iowa

Hurricane Katrina

2005-08-30T09:59:00.000-05:00

I'm sad

That is about all I can say about this.

Angel Chasse (again)

The Website ... Part II

2005-08-25T13:09:00.000-05:00

So, I spent like 6 hours yesterday making a new page for the site, and updating lots of pictures from the old site... and then I did something (not sure what) and 2 of my pages were missing all their pictures and were basically screwed up.. so I was mad, sad, upset, and I didn't want to work on the site anymore.. -- but a new day, and a new challenge I guess. I didn't sleep much last night, so I might just be tired, and willing to start over cuz of that.. but is probably cuz Jim encouraged me :) :) - Yep, pretty sure that was it
So, some of the pages are updated again now, and I hope they don't wreck themselves any time soon.... so on the webpage saga goes.. but really, I think I am in over my head on this. .I can do simple simple stuff, but when it gets at all complicated, I get confused and mess it all up... anyway... so its just a website in the long run :)

http://www.jimandangel.com

Enjoy :)

Angel Chasse (again)

Jim and Angel's Website

2005-08-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

Our site is up!! Yay.. Thanks to Jim, our site is up. I have updated some of the pages, but some still need some updates .. soon there will be a page that shows pictures of our new apartment (well new in may I guess) - I am excited. Jim showed me some of how to edit pages, so I have done a fair amount of that today, with more all week long :)
The site is at:

http://jimandangel.com

Stop by anytime.. and sign the guestbook if you'd like :)

Angel Chasse (again)

What to write about, what to write about?

2005-08-21T13:16:00.000-05:00

I need to keep this thing as a more "daily" part of my life.. I promised myself I would.
Today, just listening to some music, and catching up on everyone's blog.
Jim starts back to college on Wednesday. Woo hoo for him :)
I've been thinking of what "larger cities" I would like to move to once he has his degree.
He hates winter here in the midwest, and hates the humidity of the summer..
Soooo.. somewhere south possibly? Both coasts are too expensive, especially when
you consider we are used to Iowa/South Dakota prices for everything.
So, maybe Arizona.. a couple of online friends rave about Tucson.. we'll see..
it's 4 years from now.
I am going to look up now (I think) to see if there are any ways to do something before
you go to bed, to keep the nightmares to a minimum (is that how you spell that?)
I've had more than my fair share of nightmares these last couple of weeks, but I
am not sure why? - Ok, so here is some portion of a song by Garth Brooks

It's called Face to Face :

Your date showed up with flowers
And you thought your dreams had come
But with every passing hour
You felt it come undone
Then the night exploded and you begged him no
But he forever changed your life
And now he waits a judge and jury
Thinkin' you'll break down inside
And with a finger you can put his fists away
And you're face to face
Face to face with the devil that you've been dreadin'
Eye to eye finally has arrived
But bad as it was, well little sister wasn't it better
Dealin' with him face to face
'Cause it'll never go away
Until the fear that you are runnin' from is finally embraced
Drivin' by the grave yard
On a wicked winter's eve
And you're wonderin' why a man of faith
Is whistlin' nervously
Then you stop the car
And you hold your heart
'Cause you finally realize
Hell, the devil ain't in the darkness
He's 'rattlin' 'round inside
And with folded hands you truly start to pray
And you're face to face
Face to face with the devil that you've been dreadin'
Eye to eye finally has arrived
But bad as it was, well now brother wasn't it better
Dealin' with him face to face
'Cause it'll never go away
Until the fear that you are runnin' from is finally embraced
Face to face

Then you stop the car
And you hold your heart
'Cause you finally realize
Hell, the devil ain't in the darkness
He's 'rattlin' 'round inside

I have that devil, I think he resides in my heart. He would probably be the reason I hear strange and mean voices in my head telling me I should just kill myself, and that I will never be loved and I will never deserve anything. Anything good that is. I suppose for me, I need to get rid of that devil, and then I can move on. I was thinking the other day. It was the weirdest thing. I realized that I can't feel someone's love. I know that my husband loves me, and he says it enough. I even believe that he is not lying about loving me. I guess my thought of "how could he love ME" takes over, and it makes it hard, if not impossible for me to take it on faith, and look at all the evidence that he loves me, and let that in, feel it. Weird.. I know.. weird for me even to think about. It's the same way with everyone. I know how *I* feel towards them, there is no doubt for me that others deserve and have my love. I just don't really get that some people actually, really, truly, deeply, for real, forever love *ME* - weird. I suppose that would make a good topic with a therapist. I just always feel like at any moment people could all just walk away from me thinking I am too much work, and too dramatic, and I half expect them to actually walk away. - I really need to work on that, cuz it messes with me a lot. *Special note if your name is Jim and you are reading this * - I love you, I *know* that you love me more than anyone has ever loved me.. ever.. - the part I need to work on is feeling like I could ever be deserving of your love, and that you aren't just going to come home one day and tell me to get lost. If that makes sense? -- anyway, back to my music, no more deep thinking today...

Anyone want cookies? I am drinking water, and eating cookies.. I am pretty sure that is not going to cancel out :)

Angel Chasse (again)

What do I believe Part II

2005-08-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

Does anyone have any advice?
I don't know what I believe in...
I know I love my husband
I know I love my family
I know I love children
I know...
I know, or I am pretty sure.. that I am not the kind of person who can take things on faith...
I'm not even talking about religion yet.
I mean, like when people don't tell me they love me for a long time, I start to figure they don't..
And, when someone stops returning my calls, I assume they have nothing to say to me..

I have never been a person that could just really believe stuff, without it making sense to me.

I think this might be why religion is so confusing/complex/unfavorable for me to think about..

Examples, I have a ton of them. When something goes wrong, I assume it is something I did. When my sister doesn't call me back, I freak out, and assume that she doesn't want to talk to me specifically. I don't just figure (like most people, I would assume) that she is busy, has a new baby to take care of and lots of stuff to do .. I assume that she is not calling ME back, because she doesn't have anything that she wants to say to ME ...
When my husband has had a bad day, and is in a bad mood, I usually assume that there is something I could be doing for him to make him feel better, and if I can't do that, then I am not a good wife, and we are not right for each other anymore, and he probably is falling out of love with me......
When my little brother doesn't call, or stop by, I figure he doesn't have time for me either..

I don't know. I could go on and on about how I feel like I am always saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing (and sometimes I am, cuz I have a temper) -- but I just can't let things be. I can't just let someone be too busy to talk to anyone, let alone me, and I can't seem to stop taking it to heart when these kinds of things happen to me. I am missing that blind faith that others seem to have .... the kind that tells them that their sisters and brothers and family and husbands and moms and dads love them 110% of the time.. and that they would always love hearing from them.. and that no matter what, their husband can have a bad day, and even if you can't make it better, you are not failing as a wife.. I don't know about me sometimes. Sometimes it seems very self-centered to me that I would think that anyone takes enough time out of their busy day to even notice if they haven't called, or returned calls, or said hi, or stopped by.. I just don't know. I DO know that it feels crappy to feel this way, and it ruins your life to be this way... Talk therapy.. yup, should do it.. and should get back on some meds.. yup.. and should check out the dr's office that says they go on a sliding scale here, yup.. Maybe this coming week I will do all of this....
Other things that suck about being me:
Feeling like I am less of a person than basically any other person I have ever met.
Feeling like I am going to die having not done any one significant thing to help society
Wanting a baby so bad that it hurts sometimes..
Wanting/Needing/Loving my husband, but constantly feeling as if I should just do the right thing and let him get on with the life that he was supposed to lead, before he met me
Being scared of the dark
Hating to go anywhere around other people
Being so needy
Being so sad
Negativity, negativity, negativity
Laziness, and lack of motivation
Wanting to just act like I am "normal" nothing wrong, no need for meds or help ever..
Going off meds, thinking I will be fine without them
Hearing voices.. if most people know how often I hear voices (all the time) - they would not come near me I think
Feeling like suicide is a viable option sometimes.. and having tried it many times
Feeling like I have let my parents, my family, my friends, and most of all my husband down by not just being "fake happy" like I was when I met my husband. Sometimes I feel like if he had known I would be the way I am today, there is no way we would have gotten close, much less gotten married...

I know.. I know... distorted thinking.. I have been told.. I have been retold.. I have been told again... but most days it feels so REAL.. so REALITY.. so ALL THERE IS FOR ME TO THINK..
Today wasn't an especially rough day for me, but I sure could use some time off from all of the things swirling in my head.. vacation .. now.. vacation.... now... anyway.. if you have read this.. anyone.. you deserve a gold star :)

Angel Chasse (again)

News...

2005-08-14T13:06:00.000-05:00

Not a lot going on here. Just spending time with the husband, and the family, and the friends :)
Jim goes back to school on the 24th and he is beyond excited about it. I am excited too, for him.
My jaw hurts. Seems like a muscle used for chewing is hurting, and I am not sure why, I do wish it would go away, and quickly.. 3 days is long enough for that!!! - Today is my Aunt Pennie's birthday, then Tuesday is my friend Shannon's, and then Wednesday is my cousin Brady's - lots of birthdays this month I guess. Still trying to keep up on my water drinking, so I have resorted to putting a bit (like quarter of a cup or less) of strong coffee in my water bottle during the morning, so I feel like I am getting coffee, but am still drinking my water. I always thought that when you started drinking a lot of water (for me I am trying for 3 liters a day, as I am a big person) - well anyway, I thought that once you have been drinking that much water for like a week or a little more, that you would pee less.. I mean like.. I have to pee allll the time now.. I guess that is good, flushing the old system out.. I don't know though. I have never gone to the bathroom this much in my life ;) -- I do have Dr Thunder in the fridge, but now I use that for a treat instead of drinking only that all day. I think in my own mind, I am doing well at the water thing :) lol --- we will see if it lasts... Im 27 years old, inactive, crazy, and extremely obese --- drinking water can't HURT lol --- ok... now back to my sore jaw muscle.. I haven't done anything to injure it or tire it out extremely, so I figure I have been having bad dreams a LOT and maybe when that happens a I grit my teeth and bite down a lot - that is the only thing I can figure that it could be... so anyway, I hope it feels better soon, cuz it hurts to chew.. and hey, that can be another weight loss tool.. .JUST KIDDIN! --
I read/heard about the plane crash in Greece. 121 people killed. *sad* -- I tell ya, the news, whenever I remember to turn it on.. its not good.. - I was also wondering, random thing... I watched the world news tonight show last Friday... are they going to keep calling it World News Tonight With Peter Jennings, or are they just leaving it that way for a time, to honor him? I don't know. I guess I should look it up. I am very happy as we have had some really cool weather lately.. I hate hate hate hate the heat :) I am a fall/winter girl all the way!!!!!! Come on FALL!!!!!!
Ok, I had better go for now, I am going to try to be better at posting more often, but I really don't have anything but complaining to do a lot of the days, so I try to stay away from this totally becoming "Angel's bitchiness blog" --- ask Jim, he knows about it.. he lives in "Angel's Bitchiness World" -- not fun...

Angel Chasse (again)

My birthday 2005

2005-08-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

Well,
I am 27 now (and my license is expired, I need to go get a new one tomorrow)

Went swimming, grilled out some food, spent time with Jim (the husband) - and Becky (the friend) -- Drank a few too many strawberry daquiris.. but miraculously for me, only had a mild headache/tummyache combo to wake up to the next morning. WOO HOO!
Now see, I am not a drinker.. I used to do more than my fair share, but it just doesn't agree with me, and I finally said I was gonna quit trying to drink, and not puke :) lol -- gotta love me.. soooo... I hardly ever drink now, and when I do, its one or two.. I am a lightweight I think my brother calls it .... but ahh well.. drinking isn't what life is all about :)

Got an email from Rosie, cuz I signed up to be a part of her mailing list. That was very cool. She is going to be back on broadway as Golde, in fiddler on the roof. She is happy, and I am happy for her... lol .. .not much broadway going on in Iowa.. but oh well.. I'll never be cultured in that I am sure... I also learned today on Rosie's blog that Peter Jennings passed away. That is sad. I looked up lung cancer when he announced it 4 months ago, and all the news articles were bad, saying survival rate was like 15% or something.. so I kind of figured ... but wow.. an American Icon, passed on.. only 67 years old. Tragic...

Got my "dogtag" necklace in the mail today from www.americasupportsyou.mil I will wear it. I have always been saying... You can support the troops without supporting the liar that put them there. Cuz they are there, and they are doing what was asked of them, and I couldn't be any more proud of each and every man and woman over there.

Saw my grandma and aunt and cousin and my brother and his gf last night. Not much new on that front, except that my brother forgot it was my birthday last Thursday. I guess I would rather have 100000 people forget that it was my birthday, than to ever forget the birthday of someone close to me. My friend Shannon's is coming up pretty soon, so I'll have to make sure to send her a note :)

Ok, so I wanted to say hi to all the blogsters that I read:

Rosie :) HI!
Jimmie :) HI!
Becky:) HI!
Lu :) HI!
Cindy :) HI!
Hollie :) HI!
Marty :) HI!
Toni :) HI!
Ashley :) HI!
Dr Deborah Serani :) HI!

I enjoy getting a peek into your lives through your blogs :) I hope that you all continue blogging, and that you feel like you get something out of it :) Take care all!!!!

Angel Chasse (again)

27 Candles on the cake for me...

2005-08-03T17:42:00.000-05:00

So,
Tomorrow is my birthday - the 27th one in the series.
What am I going to do to celebrate? I don't know.

I don't really feel much like celebrating.

Jim isn't feeling well. Been to the Dr twice this week.

It really sucks seeing someone you love this much suffer.
And knowing there isn't really anything you can do.
And not knowing what is wrong, and why he feels crappy.
And wanting them to feel better NOW - and not wanting them to have to take pills to get rid of the pain and ickiness... URGH

Of course, I just want the world to be perfect :) and I want people not to have to struggle to make ends meet, and I don't want people to be sick.. or tired.. or sick and tired..
I realize trully that I can't live in a perfect world, but man, some days, it seems like mine has gone to crap!

But a few good things:
I get to spend a lot of time with Jim soon, cuz he will be back to college and be at home working on homework, and guess where I will be? You guessed it, home :)
I get to see my mom whenever I want, now that we live here in Sioux City
Becky is here, and she always has the time and the ear to listen to all my bs, and crap, and whining, and usually has a different way to look at things for me to try.. that's cooool
Leo (our cat) is awesome! He is loving, but not over-bearing, and can take care of himself, but doesn't mind being alone :)
My brother and all of the rest of my family are great. It is not that I don't KNOW that I have a lot of good things going on. It just seems like sometimes, Jim and I get screwed.. I mean, combo of our bad choices, and bad karma, or whatever you want to say it is.. but sometimes it's like the road keeps getting bumpier, and then they tear out the road, you think they are going to put it back in, and you find out that it is even worse than the first road was.. urgh
Another good thing is that I love reading other people's blogs, and I think that this one might be good for me too.. It just seems that lately everything is so negative... but.. this too shall pass..

Angel Chasse (again)

So Tired....

2005-07-31T18:43:00.000-05:00

I think I had another post one time about being too tired.
I am tired... like the physical kind, from not getting a good night's sleep, and the other kind..
From mind racing, thoughts crashing into one another. Trying to pay attention when someone I love is talking to me, trying to not listen to the voices... trying to not nag at Jim, trying to stay in a good mood. (Failing at those)
It just seems like a siege, a war inside my head, me wanting to read stuff and do stuff, and my mind firing off all these remarks about what a loser I am, and the paranoid thoughts.
Ha, I just thought about something, that if anyone reads this, they will probably think I am crazy... I would like to say I am :) lol -- nah, not schizophrenic, if that is what you are thinking...
But, I have issues.. and they are sometimes a lot to think about, or should I say a lot to try not to think about. Seems every year near my birthday I find myself looking back on my year and wondering how things went, and how things will go from here.
I need to find a new dr, to do my meds, and therapist and stuff.. - guess I will just pull money out of my ear for all of that :)
I just need to stop having mood swings, and feeling like everyone is out to get me, and starting fights over nothing, at the drop of a hat I feel sad, and like crying.. I need to stop these voices that I hear in my head, and teach myself how to not notice them... I need to do a lot of things.. oh yeah, I have a lack of motivation too to go along with all that ;) - so that is a great combo!!!

Ok, on a lighter note, today is my step-sister Sarah's 27th bday (we are 4 days apart) - and she brought Peyton down so we could hold her and love her up today :) - I posted a picture of Jim holding her for the first time on my Flickr - She is adjusting to motherhood really well, and I am so proud of her!!!!
And, as usual... Jim is being great, and putting up with me, and always being nice to me even when I am not nice to him, and I wish I had a gazillion dollars to give him for putting up with me... and still loving me on top of it all.....

It is a bumpy road, but I am sure one of these days I will get a 4 wheel drive, so I can manage :)

Angel Chasse ( again)

What do I believe?

2005-07-26T21:39:00.000-05:00

Wow,
I never thought that the guy that made that movie called "super size me" would bring any thought to my life...
See, when I was younger, like 10 years ago or so, I started going to church.. I went every Sunday. I even went although my parents did not. They did not really find organized religion to be something they were interested in. I went, and one day I broke down, and the pastor spent probably 4-5 hours answering the questions that I had about being Baptist, about being a Christian, about the Bible.. etc etc... I listened, and planned to join the church, become a member... I went for another 4-5 months, and when it came time to join, I chickened out.. something about it did not seem right to me, but to this day I can't put my finger on any one thing.. It just didn't feel right to me, I didn't have all the answers I needed....

So fast forward to last night, watching a show on FX channel, called "30 days" - They were sending a farm boy college graduate from Michigan to live in the Castro District of San Fransico. I take it that the 30 days was to see if his ideas about homosexual men would change.. when he lived at home in Michigan, he felt that homosexuality was biblically wrong, and a sin. He didn't think that homosexual men should serve in the Army reserves with him either....

This kind of brings me to my quandry.....
who is right? Those that take the Bible literally, or those that see it as merely a book of parable stories to keep us doing more right than wrong...
I know that there are parts of the Bible that say a man should not lay with another man.. But, the bible also says eye for an eye - so which parts do you pick out and decide that you are going to live your life by? And, are you supposed to believe that we should treat others badly or outcast them because they sin this way? The way I understood it (might be mistaken) -- is that a sin is a sin is a sin.... they are not ranked from bad to really bad to really really evil....
I guess I don't really feel that I would want to be part of any religion that condemns others for their sex life... I guess I could be described as "confused" -- there are so many other questions that I have... I guess I am not a person who does "blind faith" well....
So Jim's advice for me is to sit down with several different pastors/clergy, and see if now that it is 10 years later, I get any answers I can understand, or better deal with...
I think it is a great idea, except right now I feel like with all that is always goin on in my head, that I could be susceptable to taking someone else's view of what is right and wrong, and adopting it to be my own...
Sometimes I feel that organized religion is simply brainwashing in a simple form....
I mean, you go there, they pick out certain snipets of the bible.. they tell you how to interpret it... and then you base your religion for the most part on what the pastor has told you..
I just really think that it seems wrong to pick and choose.. if you are going to believe that the bible is a writing to be taken literally, you shoudln't be able to pick and choose what parts of it you want to apply to your life... that cant be right.. at least to me...

So, as anyone reading this can probably tell, not only do I hear voices more frequently in my head that are not really there, and not only do I get depressed and pissed off, and suicidal, and crabby and lazy and f#c#ed up.. but now I am not even sure if I believe in God, or if I do ( I think I do) - what role he should play in my life, URGH URGH URGH...

On a side note, I personally think that homosexuality is NOT a CHOICE but something that you are born being --- like.. you either have freckles, or you don't, and you have blue eyes or you don't... and I don't think that ANYONE should be treated badly because of who they choose to spend their life with and love.. .Love is Love.. Kindness is Kindness.. People are People... Jerks are Jerks.. and so on ....

Angel Chasse (again)