Not much going on around here. Jim starts work tomorrow, so I will be home by myself a lot more. Probably equates to more blogging :) - I listened to the president's speech half-heartedly last night. I support the troops, but I do NOT support the president that put them there and is keeping them there. I am tired, and I have a sore throat. What is that thing called where your nose drips stuff into the back of your throat (and thus makes it sore) -- what ever that is called, that is what I have :) - yuck I know. So this coming monday is the 4th of July. I almost wish it was the 4th of september, so that it would be COOLER outside. It seems that the last 2+ weeks it has been 90 and humid every darn day.. I love winter, I can always warm up. It is much harder for me to cool down. Not sure what is up with people who are summer lovers.. I mean, its great cuz you can be outside more, but I am not much of a being out in the hot kind of person. I think I will try to upload some more pictures to my Flickr today. We'll see. I neeed need need to do laundry, but I hate laundry. But, if I go and do it, then its done, and maybe I can go over to Becky's and swim. -- again, as you can prolly tell if you are reading this.. I have not got a lot going on right now :)
Angel Chasse (again)
6/29/2005
6/27/2005
Ton Cruise Interview - Text
Lauer: Katie has mentioned that she is embracing, or at least exposing herself and opening herself up to, Scientology. At this stage in your life, could you be with someone who doesn't have an interest?
Cruise: You know, Scientology is something that you don't understand. It's like, you could be a Christian and be a Scientologist, okay. Scientology is something—
Lauer: So, it doesn't replace religion.
Cruise: It is a religion. Because it's dealing with the spirit. You as a spiritual being. It gives you tools you can use to apply to your life.
We asked Cruise to explain his recent comments regarding Brooke Shields. Cruise created a firestorm when he criticized Shields for revealing that she went into therapy and took antidepressants to deal with her postpartum depression. Cruise has said that, as a Scientologist, he doesn't believe in psychiatric medicine.
Cruise: I've never agreed with psychiatry, ever. Before I was a Scientologist I never agreed with psychiatry. And when I started studying the history of psychiatry, I understood more and more why I didn't believe in psychology.
And as far as the Brooke Shields thing, look, you got to understand, I really care about Brooke Shields. I think, here's a wonderful and talented woman. And I want to see her do well. And I know that psychiatry is a pseudo science.
Lauer: But Tom, if she said that this particular thing helped her feel better, whether it was the antidepressants or going to a counselor or psychiatrist, isn't that enough?
Cruise: Matt, you have to understand this. Here we are today, where I talk out against drugs and psychiatric abuses of electric shocking people, okay, against their will, of drugging children with them not knowing the effects of these drugs. Do you know what Aderol is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know now that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that?
Lauer: The difference is —
Cruise: No, no, Matt.
Lauer: This wasn't against her will, though.
Cruise: Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt —
Lauer: But this wasn't against her will.
Cruise: Matt, I'm asking you a question.
Lauer: I understand there's abuse of all of these things.
Cruise: No, you see. Here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.
Lauer: Aren't there examples, and might not Brooke Shields be an example, of someone who benefited from one of those drugs?
Cruise: All it does is mask the problem, Matt. And if you understand the history of it, it masks the problem. That's what it does. That's all it does. You're not getting to the reason why. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.
Lauer: So, postpartum depression to you is kind of a little psychological gobbledygook —
Cruise: No. I did not say that.
Lauer: I'm just asking what you, what would you call it?
Cruise: No. No. Abso— Matt, now you're talking about two different things.
Lauer: But that's what she went on the antidepressant for.
Cruise: But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There's ways, [with] vitamins and through exercise and various things... I'm not saying that that isn't real. That's not what I'm saying. That's an alteration of what I'm saying. I'm saying that drugs aren't the answer, these drugs are very dangerous. They're mind-altering, antipsychotic drugs. And there are ways of doing it without that so that we don't end up in a brave new world. The thing that I'm saying about Brooke is that there's misinformation, okay. And she doesn't understand the history of psychiatry. She doesn't understand in the same way that you don't understand it, Matt.
Lauer: But a little bit of what you're saying Tom is, you say you want people to do well. But you want them do to well by taking the road that you approve of, as opposed to a road that may work for them.
(Aside from me.... Good point Matt!!!!!!)
Cruise: No, no, I'm not.
Lauer: Well, if antidepressants work for Brooke Shields, why isn't that okay?
Cruise: I disagree with it. And I think that there's a higher and better quality of life. And I think that, promoting — for me personally, see, you're saying what, I can't discuss what I wanna discuss?
Lauer: No. You absolutely can.
Cruise: I know. But Matt, you're going in and saying that, that I can't discuss this.
Lauer: I'm only asking, isn't there a possibility that — do you examine the possibility that these things do work for some people? That yes, there are abuses. And yes, maybe they've gone too far in certain areas. Maybe there are too many kids on Ritalin. Maybe electric shock —
Cruise: Too many kids on Ritalin? Matt.
Lauer: I'm just saying. But aren't there examples where it works?
Cruise: Matt. Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, okay? That's what I've done. Then you go and you say where's the medical test? Where's the blood test that says how much Ritalin you're supposed to get?
Lauer: It's very impressive to listen to you. Because clearly, you've done the homework. And you know the subject.
Cruise: And you should. And you should do that also. Because just knowing people who are on Ritalin isn't enough. You should be a little bit more responsible in knowing really —
Lauer: I'm not prescribing Ritalin, Tom. And I'm not asking anyone else to do it. I'm simply saying, I know some people who seem to have been helped by it.
Cruise: But you're saying this is a very important issue.
Lauer: I couldn't agree more.
Cruise: It's very — and you know what? You're here on the "Today" show.
Lauer: Right.
Cruise: And to talk about it in a way of saying, "Well, isn't it okay," and being reasonable about it when you don't know and I do, I think that you should be a little bit more responsible in knowing what it is.
Lauer: But —
Cruise: Because you communicate to people.
Lauer: But you're now telling me that your experiences with the people I know, which are zero, are more important than my experiences.
Cruise: What do you mean by that?
Lauer: You're telling me what's worked for people I know or hasn't worked for people I know. I'm telling you, I’ve lived with these people and they're better.
Cruise: So, you're advocating it.
Lauer: I am not. I'm telling you in their case, in their individual case, it worked. I am not gonna go out and say, "Get your kids on Ritalin. It's the cure-all and the end-all."
Cruise: Matt, but here's the point. What is the ideal scene for life? Okay. The ideal scene is someone not having to take antipsychotic drugs.
Lauer: I would agree.
Cruise: Okay. So, now you look at a departure from that ideal scene, is someone taking drugs, okay. And then you go, okay. What is the theory and the science behind that, that justifies that?
Lauer: Let me take this more general, because I think you and I can go around in circles on this for awhile. And I respect your opinion. Do you want more people to understand Scientology? Would that be a goal of yours?
Cruise: You know what? Absolutely. Of course, you know.
Lauer: How do you go about that?
Cruise: You just communicate about it. And the important thing is, like you and I talk about it, whether it's okay, if I want to know something, I go and find out. Because I don't talk about things that I don't understand. I'll say, you know what? I'm not so sure about that. I'll go find more information about it so I can come to an opinion based on the information that I have.
Lauer: You're so passionate about it.
Cruise: I'm passionate about learning. I'm passionate about life, Matt.
© 2005 MSNBC Interactive
Cruise: You know, Scientology is something that you don't understand. It's like, you could be a Christian and be a Scientologist, okay. Scientology is something—
Lauer: So, it doesn't replace religion.
Cruise: It is a religion. Because it's dealing with the spirit. You as a spiritual being. It gives you tools you can use to apply to your life.
We asked Cruise to explain his recent comments regarding Brooke Shields. Cruise created a firestorm when he criticized Shields for revealing that she went into therapy and took antidepressants to deal with her postpartum depression. Cruise has said that, as a Scientologist, he doesn't believe in psychiatric medicine.
Cruise: I've never agreed with psychiatry, ever. Before I was a Scientologist I never agreed with psychiatry. And when I started studying the history of psychiatry, I understood more and more why I didn't believe in psychology.
And as far as the Brooke Shields thing, look, you got to understand, I really care about Brooke Shields. I think, here's a wonderful and talented woman. And I want to see her do well. And I know that psychiatry is a pseudo science.
Lauer: But Tom, if she said that this particular thing helped her feel better, whether it was the antidepressants or going to a counselor or psychiatrist, isn't that enough?
Cruise: Matt, you have to understand this. Here we are today, where I talk out against drugs and psychiatric abuses of electric shocking people, okay, against their will, of drugging children with them not knowing the effects of these drugs. Do you know what Aderol is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know now that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that?
Lauer: The difference is —
Cruise: No, no, Matt.
Lauer: This wasn't against her will, though.
Cruise: Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt —
Lauer: But this wasn't against her will.
Cruise: Matt, I'm asking you a question.
Lauer: I understand there's abuse of all of these things.
Cruise: No, you see. Here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.
Lauer: Aren't there examples, and might not Brooke Shields be an example, of someone who benefited from one of those drugs?
Cruise: All it does is mask the problem, Matt. And if you understand the history of it, it masks the problem. That's what it does. That's all it does. You're not getting to the reason why. There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.
Lauer: So, postpartum depression to you is kind of a little psychological gobbledygook —
Cruise: No. I did not say that.
Lauer: I'm just asking what you, what would you call it?
Cruise: No. No. Abso— Matt, now you're talking about two different things.
Lauer: But that's what she went on the antidepressant for.
Cruise: But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There's ways, [with] vitamins and through exercise and various things... I'm not saying that that isn't real. That's not what I'm saying. That's an alteration of what I'm saying. I'm saying that drugs aren't the answer, these drugs are very dangerous. They're mind-altering, antipsychotic drugs. And there are ways of doing it without that so that we don't end up in a brave new world. The thing that I'm saying about Brooke is that there's misinformation, okay. And she doesn't understand the history of psychiatry. She doesn't understand in the same way that you don't understand it, Matt.
Lauer: But a little bit of what you're saying Tom is, you say you want people to do well. But you want them do to well by taking the road that you approve of, as opposed to a road that may work for them.
(Aside from me.... Good point Matt!!!!!!)
Cruise: No, no, I'm not.
Lauer: Well, if antidepressants work for Brooke Shields, why isn't that okay?
Cruise: I disagree with it. And I think that there's a higher and better quality of life. And I think that, promoting — for me personally, see, you're saying what, I can't discuss what I wanna discuss?
Lauer: No. You absolutely can.
Cruise: I know. But Matt, you're going in and saying that, that I can't discuss this.
Lauer: I'm only asking, isn't there a possibility that — do you examine the possibility that these things do work for some people? That yes, there are abuses. And yes, maybe they've gone too far in certain areas. Maybe there are too many kids on Ritalin. Maybe electric shock —
Cruise: Too many kids on Ritalin? Matt.
Lauer: I'm just saying. But aren't there examples where it works?
Cruise: Matt. Matt, Matt, you don't even — you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, okay? That's what I've done. Then you go and you say where's the medical test? Where's the blood test that says how much Ritalin you're supposed to get?
Lauer: It's very impressive to listen to you. Because clearly, you've done the homework. And you know the subject.
Cruise: And you should. And you should do that also. Because just knowing people who are on Ritalin isn't enough. You should be a little bit more responsible in knowing really —
Lauer: I'm not prescribing Ritalin, Tom. And I'm not asking anyone else to do it. I'm simply saying, I know some people who seem to have been helped by it.
Cruise: But you're saying this is a very important issue.
Lauer: I couldn't agree more.
Cruise: It's very — and you know what? You're here on the "Today" show.
Lauer: Right.
Cruise: And to talk about it in a way of saying, "Well, isn't it okay," and being reasonable about it when you don't know and I do, I think that you should be a little bit more responsible in knowing what it is.
Lauer: But —
Cruise: Because you communicate to people.
Lauer: But you're now telling me that your experiences with the people I know, which are zero, are more important than my experiences.
Cruise: What do you mean by that?
Lauer: You're telling me what's worked for people I know or hasn't worked for people I know. I'm telling you, I’ve lived with these people and they're better.
Cruise: So, you're advocating it.
Lauer: I am not. I'm telling you in their case, in their individual case, it worked. I am not gonna go out and say, "Get your kids on Ritalin. It's the cure-all and the end-all."
Cruise: Matt, but here's the point. What is the ideal scene for life? Okay. The ideal scene is someone not having to take antipsychotic drugs.
Lauer: I would agree.
Cruise: Okay. So, now you look at a departure from that ideal scene, is someone taking drugs, okay. And then you go, okay. What is the theory and the science behind that, that justifies that?
Lauer: Let me take this more general, because I think you and I can go around in circles on this for awhile. And I respect your opinion. Do you want more people to understand Scientology? Would that be a goal of yours?
Cruise: You know what? Absolutely. Of course, you know.
Lauer: How do you go about that?
Cruise: You just communicate about it. And the important thing is, like you and I talk about it, whether it's okay, if I want to know something, I go and find out. Because I don't talk about things that I don't understand. I'll say, you know what? I'm not so sure about that. I'll go find more information about it so I can come to an opinion based on the information that I have.
Lauer: You're so passionate about it.
Cruise: I'm passionate about learning. I'm passionate about life, Matt.
© 2005 MSNBC Interactive
Tom Cruise
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8343367/
Check out that site. Today Show interview between Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer... Ok, I am trying to find a site that has that interview all typed up nicely, cuz I would like to paste it here at my blog, so I don't misquote, and can show you the exact things that were said (by Tom) - He said... Psychiatry is a Pseudo-Science .... that "he has researched the subject" and that "he knows, and Matt doesn't" -- well. I thought that Tommy boy had kind of changed, had really "come out of his shell" or something now that he is dating Katie Holmes. I was happy for him. I like it when others are happy (LOL Tom said that in the interview too) -- but holy crap. He's an actor. I know he has opinions, but wow, I thought him very rude to Matt Lauer - what I got out of it was Matt was saying.. "Tom, is it for you to say that the entire of psychiatry is made up and useless, if it helps someone else be happier, why can't that be good enough for you" -- It was weird to me, because he is a scientologist. He also said that you can be a christian, and be a scientologist as well. I guess I need to do my research on scientology, but heck, I think that he treated Matt very rudely, and I expected better manners from him. I am not sure what is up with him lately. It is not that I want to have movie stars with no opinions, and no strong ones, I love love love love Rosie O'donnell, and she has VERY strong opinions and is not afraid to voice them. I am all for using your "fame" to champion a cause and get a lot done as just one person with that cause, but holy heck, Tom, why did you have to be so rude. Have you been restraining yourself for many years, and now you just opened up the floodgates, or what? That is a pretty big leap, saying psychiatry is not a science and that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance. I guess there is nothing going on up in my head... lol -- Well, that is enough ranting about that. I DO want Tom Cruise to be happy in his life... I DO NOT want him to share his opinions by being rude, and condescending to others, and I DONT believe he could possibly know enough about Psychiatry (med school? Residency? etc) to know that is is a quack science..... ------- psych drugs wrong for a LOT of the population that is taking them? I bet you are right... but not necessary for ANYONE..... Might want to rethink that point.... whew.... More in a moment, need some ice water, its hot in here :):)
Angel Chasse (again)
Check out that site. Today Show interview between Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer... Ok, I am trying to find a site that has that interview all typed up nicely, cuz I would like to paste it here at my blog, so I don't misquote, and can show you the exact things that were said (by Tom) - He said... Psychiatry is a Pseudo-Science .... that "he has researched the subject" and that "he knows, and Matt doesn't" -- well. I thought that Tommy boy had kind of changed, had really "come out of his shell" or something now that he is dating Katie Holmes. I was happy for him. I like it when others are happy (LOL Tom said that in the interview too) -- but holy crap. He's an actor. I know he has opinions, but wow, I thought him very rude to Matt Lauer - what I got out of it was Matt was saying.. "Tom, is it for you to say that the entire of psychiatry is made up and useless, if it helps someone else be happier, why can't that be good enough for you" -- It was weird to me, because he is a scientologist. He also said that you can be a christian, and be a scientologist as well. I guess I need to do my research on scientology, but heck, I think that he treated Matt very rudely, and I expected better manners from him. I am not sure what is up with him lately. It is not that I want to have movie stars with no opinions, and no strong ones, I love love love love Rosie O'donnell, and she has VERY strong opinions and is not afraid to voice them. I am all for using your "fame" to champion a cause and get a lot done as just one person with that cause, but holy heck, Tom, why did you have to be so rude. Have you been restraining yourself for many years, and now you just opened up the floodgates, or what? That is a pretty big leap, saying psychiatry is not a science and that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance. I guess there is nothing going on up in my head... lol -- Well, that is enough ranting about that. I DO want Tom Cruise to be happy in his life... I DO NOT want him to share his opinions by being rude, and condescending to others, and I DONT believe he could possibly know enough about Psychiatry (med school? Residency? etc) to know that is is a quack science..... ------- psych drugs wrong for a LOT of the population that is taking them? I bet you are right... but not necessary for ANYONE..... Might want to rethink that point.... whew.... More in a moment, need some ice water, its hot in here :):)
Angel Chasse (again)
6/22/2005
Is there anything worse?
Death watch.. that is what I am calling it.. yesterday my mom and I went to see her friend who has cancer everywhere, and is nearing the end of her life. Very soon. We went in, there were 2 people (friends and family) sitting in the kitchen. Deb (my mom's best friend) was in the living room, in hospital bed, mostly out of it from all the pain meds. They were filling us in in the kitchen... no food for 16 days now, only sips of iced tea, pain meds, etc etc.. they said that hospice came in and said life is white and dead is black, and Deb is in dark grey.....
WHAT?
How does this become routine to them. I am thankful for them, at the same time I am sooooo glad I don't have that job. I prayed last night that she just go... no more pain, no more suffering, no more deathwatch for family members and friends.
My mom says no more close friends for her ever. Can't say I blame her.
This whole thing got me thinking (of course) -- Deb is 50, my mom is 45 - I can't lose my mom, cant do it. I just pray she lives to be an old old woman. I will love to see how my mom is when she is old. She is so honest.. sometimes a bit brutal to listen to :) she is so spunky. That is what drew her to Deb and Deb to her I am sure of it... both of them quick with a jab or a joke, all in good fun, drinking coffee for hours together.. the number of times they had each other crying over laughing so hard.. wow too many times to count. I love my mom so much, and hate this for her. Wish I could be the parent, and put a bandaid on and say "all better" and it would all go away for her.. can't do that, I am learning... gotta take life as it comes.. but let me tell ya, sometimes it SUCKS!! BAD!!
Gotta hold on to the little things that make me happy.. Husband... family... and little tiny thing, but COLD STONE CREAMERY ICE CREAM!!! Love it... indulged tonight.. shouldn't have, can't afford it at the moment, but .. gotta drink in the good stuff.... I love you Jim
Angel Chasse (again)
WHAT?
How does this become routine to them. I am thankful for them, at the same time I am sooooo glad I don't have that job. I prayed last night that she just go... no more pain, no more suffering, no more deathwatch for family members and friends.
My mom says no more close friends for her ever. Can't say I blame her.
This whole thing got me thinking (of course) -- Deb is 50, my mom is 45 - I can't lose my mom, cant do it. I just pray she lives to be an old old woman. I will love to see how my mom is when she is old. She is so honest.. sometimes a bit brutal to listen to :) she is so spunky. That is what drew her to Deb and Deb to her I am sure of it... both of them quick with a jab or a joke, all in good fun, drinking coffee for hours together.. the number of times they had each other crying over laughing so hard.. wow too many times to count. I love my mom so much, and hate this for her. Wish I could be the parent, and put a bandaid on and say "all better" and it would all go away for her.. can't do that, I am learning... gotta take life as it comes.. but let me tell ya, sometimes it SUCKS!! BAD!!
Gotta hold on to the little things that make me happy.. Husband... family... and little tiny thing, but COLD STONE CREAMERY ICE CREAM!!! Love it... indulged tonight.. shouldn't have, can't afford it at the moment, but .. gotta drink in the good stuff.... I love you Jim
Angel Chasse (again)
6/20/2005
Painting, the weekend really
Saturday Jim and I painted a room in my mom's basement. Seems easy, and really it was, but I am still sore in my hand and my neck. Wuss. I am a big wuss. Anyway, I never rolled on primer before. I didn't know that the sheetrock and wall essentially could suck up that much primer. I guess I have only painted a few times before and it was on walls that had already been primed and painted before. So we went through a lot of primer, and then 2 coats of paint, and the room still doesn't really look great. I did my best, and that is all I can do. I would really have liked it to look professional though! So we painted, and then my dad decided on a whim pretty much to rent a sod cutter to cut up the sod of their front yard, and Jim went outside in the hot and helped him roll up all the sod and get it ready to go in the dumptruck. My brother's roommate's little 2 year old came over and my mom watched her overnight. She is very cute. She doesn't talk very much on her own, but she will repeat anything you say, and when she saw my brother's picture on the wall, she went nuts.
"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy" ( I take it that she likes my lil bro :) ) So then my mom grilled us T-Bone steaks, and that was great. We sat out on their deck and enjoyed the evening. There was a nice cool breeze so I loved that :) -- then we went home all sore and dirty, and went back over there on Sunday for Father's Day. My dad, Jim, Sam, and Sarah's boyfriend Larry all went to the pool hall, so my Dad prolly had a pretty good day that way :) -- Other than that, still sore from all the painting. Again, I say, I am the world's biggest wimp!!!!!! And it is only 11:30 and it is already hottttt - so someone can take this heat off of my hands ;)
Angel Chasse (again)
"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy" ( I take it that she likes my lil bro :) ) So then my mom grilled us T-Bone steaks, and that was great. We sat out on their deck and enjoyed the evening. There was a nice cool breeze so I loved that :) -- then we went home all sore and dirty, and went back over there on Sunday for Father's Day. My dad, Jim, Sam, and Sarah's boyfriend Larry all went to the pool hall, so my Dad prolly had a pretty good day that way :) -- Other than that, still sore from all the painting. Again, I say, I am the world's biggest wimp!!!!!! And it is only 11:30 and it is already hottttt - so someone can take this heat off of my hands ;)
Angel Chasse (again)
6/19/2005
Everyone has to die sometime.....
That is what I keep hearing from most male people I know. Weird, it's been the males, not that they don't have emotions or anything, but so far I have only heard it from them. My mom got the call Saturday that her best friend Deb doesn't have long. The cancer is everywhere, and she doesn't want to eat or drink. I think they are medicating her to keep her more comfortable.. My mom and I will go and see her tomorrow. I want to go, both to see her and to support my mom. I don't want to go because she knows she is dying, and we know she is dying, and well, that sucks for me. I know.. me me me -- it's not about me, and I know that, but I am just afraid I will say the wrong thing, and not even be any use to my mom. I really love my mom and I hate that her new thought is that after Deb is gone, she does not want to ever have a close friend again, she only wants to have casual friends... so as not to get attached. I wonder if that is the right way to go. Then again, I am sure that the majority of my mental problems have to do with the fact that I get too emotional..too attached.. take things too personally. So, then is is really a bad plan? And just because my mom is getting older (though she is only 45) - should she/will she ever be ok with the people around her dying? Wow.. I don't think I will ever be ok with it. I don't know. I am a bit confused about how people can just say " Everyone has to die sometime, and you just need to get used to that idea" - Seems crude, and a bit cold to me. But really, is that just the way it is and I need to learn to deal with it? I don't think it ever gets easier though, I have a hard time believing that one.
Angel Chasse (again)
Angel Chasse (again)
6/15/2005
Unfair
Unfair
We went to see my mom's best friend Deb.
Her son was graduating from High School
We went because of that, but we went to see her.
Sick, she was sick. Been in pain and unable to do
anything for a month now.
Off Chemo for a month.. after the last 9 months on.
How is it fair for one person to get cancer 3 separate times in their life?
Who makes these rules? Who lets this happen..
Deb jokes... that she did some bad stuff in her life, so she can understand once...
and then she says.. ok.. twice maybe... but 3 times?
First brain tumor, then double mastectomy, now lymph nodes...
My dad says that at least she has been around to get all the kids off to their own lives
he says hopefully she can make it til whenever he gets married. She already has some grandkids - he says "her main jobs will be done" -- but... but but
Why is that good enough? Why doesn't she get to stay around until she is old and grey and get great grandkids, and go on trips and start her life as an "empty nester" over.. my parents are somewhat doing that now.. me 26 married, brother 22 and out of the house.. they can take cool vacations now, and do stuff.. with no kids dragging along... who decided that Deb doesn't get to do that?
I know, she is still here, and I am thankful for that.. I am.. but in her eyes you can see that she is tired.. tired of all of this.. the pain, the illness, the not getting to do stuff. She couldn't even leave the house to go to the graduation ceremony.. so she got it on videotape... it's not the same.. but it is what she has... and she doesn't really even complain either.. I don't know how she does it. I don't know.. if it were me I would be angry.. I am sure it would not help, but I would be PISSED....
Again.. I don't understand what kind of world we live in that this could happen, and to me, a God that is just would not let this happen. I guess that has always been my problem with the bible and how most people in organized religion are willing to just say that everything that is not perfect in this world is becuase of God giving us free will to make our own choices... I just don't buy into a school of thought that there is someone (god) that is all knowing, and all seeing, and created this world, and because he gave us free will, he can take a hands off aproach when bad things happen...but who is it that people go to and give all the praise when something goes RIGHT???? -- I have to remember that people might read this.. but in the end, it is my blog, and I promised myself when I started it, that I would not censor it or do spellcheck or any of that.. so there it is.. I do not participate in religion because I can't wrap my head around why bad things happen. After all, if god was all knowing, all seeing, and he created this world and all of us who are in it, then he has the POWER to make things right.. and chooses not to. Free will... urgh....
Angel Chasse (again)
We went to see my mom's best friend Deb.
Her son was graduating from High School
We went because of that, but we went to see her.
Sick, she was sick. Been in pain and unable to do
anything for a month now.
Off Chemo for a month.. after the last 9 months on.
How is it fair for one person to get cancer 3 separate times in their life?
Who makes these rules? Who lets this happen..
Deb jokes... that she did some bad stuff in her life, so she can understand once...
and then she says.. ok.. twice maybe... but 3 times?
First brain tumor, then double mastectomy, now lymph nodes...
My dad says that at least she has been around to get all the kids off to their own lives
he says hopefully she can make it til whenever he gets married. She already has some grandkids - he says "her main jobs will be done" -- but... but but
Why is that good enough? Why doesn't she get to stay around until she is old and grey and get great grandkids, and go on trips and start her life as an "empty nester" over.. my parents are somewhat doing that now.. me 26 married, brother 22 and out of the house.. they can take cool vacations now, and do stuff.. with no kids dragging along... who decided that Deb doesn't get to do that?
I know, she is still here, and I am thankful for that.. I am.. but in her eyes you can see that she is tired.. tired of all of this.. the pain, the illness, the not getting to do stuff. She couldn't even leave the house to go to the graduation ceremony.. so she got it on videotape... it's not the same.. but it is what she has... and she doesn't really even complain either.. I don't know how she does it. I don't know.. if it were me I would be angry.. I am sure it would not help, but I would be PISSED....
Again.. I don't understand what kind of world we live in that this could happen, and to me, a God that is just would not let this happen. I guess that has always been my problem with the bible and how most people in organized religion are willing to just say that everything that is not perfect in this world is becuase of God giving us free will to make our own choices... I just don't buy into a school of thought that there is someone (god) that is all knowing, and all seeing, and created this world, and because he gave us free will, he can take a hands off aproach when bad things happen...but who is it that people go to and give all the praise when something goes RIGHT???? -- I have to remember that people might read this.. but in the end, it is my blog, and I promised myself when I started it, that I would not censor it or do spellcheck or any of that.. so there it is.. I do not participate in religion because I can't wrap my head around why bad things happen. After all, if god was all knowing, all seeing, and he created this world and all of us who are in it, then he has the POWER to make things right.. and chooses not to. Free will... urgh....
Angel Chasse (again)
6/13/2005
What?
First off... wow Michael Jackson.. Not guilty on all counts. I am not sure what kind of world he lives in, but if I am parked without money in the meter for one second, I get a parking ticket. I guess those jurors are not me, and I am not them. But I think he did those things (wasn't there, don't know) -- but if he did, and he got a not guilty verdict... isn't that just like the world telling him that the way he has been living and the things he has been doing around/to children is all ok? I just don't know if the woman that brought this case against him can be trusted.... on the other hand, I can safely tell you that no child of MINE will ever be anywhere near Michael Jackson or his associates at that ranch of his. Too scary for me. I think he has lost his touch with reality. I really think I understand that, cuz sometimes I lose mine. I am depressed all the time, and sometimes am nervous about nothing - everything - my depression even takes on the symptom of me hearing someone "in my head" yelling at me and putting me down and telling me to kill myself all of the time. So I guess I am not the worlds most sane person all of the time. But I can say one thing with 110% certainty. I would never hurt anyone else intentionally, and NEVER EVER EVER a child. They are the one group on our planet that truly don't have a voice, and people need to look out for them first, and most. - Ok off the soapbox for now. Having some problems with internet, so we will see if this post makes it to my blog :) I hope so. Do you think that this world will ever get BETTER every day for children, or will it always continue to become more dangerous? I don't really know. I hope that there is something that I can do to help make it better. I will find my something.. I will find it...
Angel Chasse (again)
Angel Chasse (again)
6/08/2005
I'm Baaaack!
The move is done, settling in to the new apartment. It's HOT here.. and the tiny air conditioner is not cutting it. Mostly, it's the glassy sun porch that is the culprit, but what can ya do? We need it for space (it's where the computer is) - other than that, nice apartment, bad neighborhood :) -- Good thing I have big Jim to protect me :)
I saw Rosie on the View yesterday. I think she was great. I think that that show, even more than some others, should have different viewpoints. I mean, come on, wasn't the idea for that whole show from Barbara Walters? Cmon.. it's gotta be fair and good if she is involved :)
Not a lot else going on here. Looking for blinds or some such items to block out the most light and heat. White they say, cuz it reflects the light.. so we will figure it out. I've been having a great time hanging out with my Mom, and my brother stopped over the other day, which wasn't half bad either :) - Jim has to start looking for a summer job now, and that sucks, because then I will be here alone a lot while he is working. Not looking forward to that. I have gotten very used to him being around me :) :) But, the extra money will be nice as well :) You know, I don't have cable at the moment, so I guess it is good that i missed lots of stuff on tv this last season cuz it looks like they really replay all of it for the summer :)
I started browsing a college textbook on sociology. I find it very interesting. To me, not quite as interesting as psychology, but close :) I'm off now to read a bit more of it. I will have a lot of catching up to do when I am next on, blogs to read.. blogs to read :):)
Angel Chasse (again)
I saw Rosie on the View yesterday. I think she was great. I think that that show, even more than some others, should have different viewpoints. I mean, come on, wasn't the idea for that whole show from Barbara Walters? Cmon.. it's gotta be fair and good if she is involved :)
Not a lot else going on here. Looking for blinds or some such items to block out the most light and heat. White they say, cuz it reflects the light.. so we will figure it out. I've been having a great time hanging out with my Mom, and my brother stopped over the other day, which wasn't half bad either :) - Jim has to start looking for a summer job now, and that sucks, because then I will be here alone a lot while he is working. Not looking forward to that. I have gotten very used to him being around me :) :) But, the extra money will be nice as well :) You know, I don't have cable at the moment, so I guess it is good that i missed lots of stuff on tv this last season cuz it looks like they really replay all of it for the summer :)
I started browsing a college textbook on sociology. I find it very interesting. To me, not quite as interesting as psychology, but close :) I'm off now to read a bit more of it. I will have a lot of catching up to do when I am next on, blogs to read.. blogs to read :):)
Angel Chasse (again)
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